Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML
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Top comments
jess6blondie9 3
Haha aww. All parents are going to embarrass you with the stories from when you were younger, don't worry.
insanesna1l 0
and in Australia it's pronounced "Beer"
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Comments (241)
RyanMacVey 17
at least you havnt got the worst 5 brothers on earth like me.... no wonder my gf dumped me ):
jess6blondie9 3
Ouch.
RyanMacVey 17
fukk you
AnagenisisZagus 13
KaySL, you make my day.
dunner12 0
#18 your ex GF told me that of you and all your brothers you had the biggest Wang. there's a bright side to every story.
attatood 8
give the dude a break, huh? His FML was kinda funny and it wasn't like he was doing it on purpose. No need to make him feel like crap.
illmatic2 16
62- Shut up. This is FML; this kind of stuff is to be expected. If you can't take it the you probably shouldn't be here.
TayonaC 10
...and how did that conversation come up??
TayonaC 10
that was to 41 ^_^
justalilrandom2 4
Your gf may have dumped you for your FML screen name, alternatively it could have been because she found you in bed with her brother. Just my two cents.
attatood 8
#65... right. It's so easy to take your crap seriously while you are playing with your nipples in your profile pic.
kennababy 0
you guys calm the heck down! it's one FML that sounded a little wrong and your STILL giving him crap about it? get over it.
illmatic2 16
Hey, there's nothing wrong with playing with your nipples.
ILoveEggnog 7
KaaaaaaaaaaySl.........
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
maybe she dumped you because your username is gayboii. just a thought...
mzfoxy31 0
Doing something like that?! U deserve to be laughed at!!!! Hahahaha!!! WTH? Y would u do that and how the hell did ur parents find out??!!! Lmaooooo!!!!! sry, cnt help it!
Agiggleaday 0
Oh did I offend the 14 year old?
RyanMacVey 17
who me???
anonymous595 0
ur pretty:-)
boomsupersonic 0
It was when he was young. Most people do weird things when they're younger. We all have stories of that nature, I'm sure.
SnailLife 3
That no different from what u do now
mystrylady 0
what a creeper!
prince122 0
he blows up when he gets close to people?
hollowaybrady34 6
Minecraft failed pun.
prince122 0
hey...**** u i liked it... espicially how he said creeper not creep.
AnagenisisZagus 13
So? At least now you can tell her you had friends when you were younger instead of being the village loser.
boomsupersonic 0
Sounds like an interesting puppet show... ;)
bandaid52 0
wow u did what when u were younger??
xx_kaelen_xx 0
haha xD
dunner12 0
LOL, when he talked back to you did you choke him or just beat him?
TinyDude 10
he fapped to the beat
mjismyidol 0
win!
kennababy 0
hahaha :) dont worry :) all parents are embarrassing! my mom always tells my boyfriend weird things about me