Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks 22 217
You deserved it 96 345

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Top comments

X_o_X_ocutie 0

u were talking to your dick, Why?

-insert clever penis joke here-


X_o_X_ocutie 0

u were talking to your dick, Why?

UnanomousGurl 0

He was cheering it on to grow

he said he wanted a deep tissue massage

he was discussing the theory of evolution and how he drew the short straw. the penis was asking for a hand to move penis is afraid of dark wet places after some traumatizing experiences during puberty

he was repeating "Must, must, increase my bust" I'm sure I quoted it wrong but gimme a break I read it like 12 years ago

the penis was telling him off for sticking him in weird places when he drinks... he was only responding when his mum walked in!

Judy Blume? "I must I must increase my bust!"

DaveOnDope 4

Do you have names for them? My SO's tits are named, "Honk honk" and "Beep beep".

NickK49 0

Why do you still talk to your imaginary friend (your dick does not exist).

hahaha 24 win xD

I'm pretty sure this is how the conversation went down. penis:"what the fuck , you are such a freak.. the stuff you do with me is crazy" OP:"no it's not.." penis:"yes it is! remember that time when you were with that girl at the macaroni convention?" OP:"no we need a second opinion" penis:"I'll use my penis power and call your mom in here" OP:"nooo!" penis:"why not? she and I are good friends *wink*" mom:"honey, your penis called me. what's up? "

froob 0

I tho he deserved it until I read that V

CaptainPickles72 18

@#113 That is the most idiotic thing I have read.......but I love it.

64: Yes! are you there God? it's me, Margaret

what's up? obviously his dick

jrsgreenfire257 0

Ok 121... CaptionPickle Lmfao

OP needs to get some friends real fast.

johnwroo22 0

;) oh yea!!!

sageCFC 0

was ur girlfreind there to was her name righty :)

he was practicing small talk.

b3cc3rs97 1

that's hot

I think he was asking it when it will get bigger it said never

170 hahaha thank you bestie :D

Can't you see? He's a penis whisperer.

What's down? Obviously his head.

I meant to add in #134 :/

OMG!!! I MEAN #146!!!!! MAN I'M STUPID!!!!!!

Probably because he has no life

113 lmao xD I loved that joke

mmsdrummer51 3

the coversation went like this .... dear penis i dont think i like you anymore you used to watch me shave now all you do is stare at the floor dear penis i dont like you anymore

did it all back to you

Did he talk back?

POPO28_fml 0

fuckig hella awesome pic nigguh.

EmoGiana 0

I suppose he was saying "Who's a good boy???"

113 made me actually laugh at loud. Hilarious :)

189, Nah, it's probably named Palmela Handerson. and 268, Rodney Carrington is it? That song is hilarious :)

erongetti 2

Hahahaha! nice.

lol @ 59... just a smile? :) haha lucky u feeeking pretty! ;)

268 I already said that earlier in this post :p

you must have nice tits then ;)

3rinNicole559 2

hahaha, that's a weird song!!.(:

lymecheer 0


agigantorllama 0

:) Sweetttt..

JodeMiVida 13

It's probably breast not to have someone watching though :)

Clozzie 0


SookyTurner 4

Lol good call!

Brandonisamazing 5

Someone's lonely...

-insert clever penis joke here-

MrNiceGuy, your picture is hilarious XD

persianjr1 7

he thought it was a genie. just keep rubbing till he talks back!!

i've got a joke about my vagina but you'll never get it.

sportyfreaK15 0

I've got a joke about my vajj oh nevermind you'll never get it :)

sophiagrace26 0

three times actually.

paragor34 0

well played #65 Well played hahahaha

I'm sorry, do I know you 166?

sandyyBabi 0


lmao braaa that's from Facebook

agigantorllama 0

That's a good joke!

haha you're funny :D

-laughs at clever joke and enters an equally but slightly less funny comment here-

Fireashes250 16

"Hey there little guy! Don't be so down..." Is what he said.

freebird2012 0


X_o_X_ocutie 0

I was

You weren't even SΣСОИD!

MrNiceGuy you usually are just saying "insert penis here" nice to see a change.

bodnarfresh 0

65, I got a joke about my pussy but you won't get it.

It's been said...... ^

bman134 0


Haylzzzmuzzicc 1

funny days!????

haha I'm sorry dude but you totally deserved it, of all the things to talk to why your penis?

JonaDona 2

Hey, penis have feelings too... maybe his penis was feeling down and he was trying to cheer it up...

lol #26, winner of a comment

RedPillSucks 31

Everybody talks to their penis. It's the ones that listen that are crazy.

no all guys listen 2 there penis ins the once that talk to it that are crazy

The real question is, why talk to his penis without first making sure that there is no way anyone else (especially his own parent) would behold such a disturbing sight?

#26, you made my day. :P

shortstuff4485 0

#26 best comment ever! lol

rainbowpikachus 0

wow Op, that's not weird at all...

it's only weird if it answers...

hahaha, damn you stole my comment.

It is only weird if he drew a face on it.

hobojo11 0

i have a tatoo of a face on my pelvise so se has copiny. wile sucking

I have never spoken to my penis. You sir, are bonkers!

X_o_X_ocutie 0

I have never said bonkers You sir are retarded!

I've never spoken to your penis either! We have something in common!

that was clever 116

inahaz 0

It's no big deal to talk to it... when it starts talking back, that's when you have a problem.

"bonkers" made made lol. :D havent heard that in awhile.

kailauli 0

haha, awesome response. made me laugh.

So, did she join in the conversation?

no but he stood up to hear better

Sounds like a porno... >:D

You must be really lonely. So, what were you talking about? Were you ordering him to get up?

smileeee_fml 0

wth ... youre not normal.

SilenceIsSilver 0

Lies. That happens to me every weekend.

you talk to your penis on weekends?


I wuz thinking the same

sportyfreaK15 0

Ikr ?!