Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML
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Top comments
jess6blondie9 3
Haha aww. All parents are going to embarrass you with the stories from when you were younger, don't worry.
insanesna1l 0
and in Australia it's pronounced "Beer"
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Comments (241)
lilody_fml 0
bet she did worse things wit herself when she was younger
IndianRapper 0
bhahaha thats messed up:P
tulsafml 0
Every one lovez bonerz!!!
sweetiffany 0
You should put on a show for your girlfriend! I bet she would enjoy it!
malia974 0
Ur pic is very scary
AEverydayDouche 1
Is this the same guy who got caught by his mom when he was having a pep-talk with his penis?
LOLbomb 1
What did you name the puppet? Peter?
boomsupersonic 0
Peter Penis. :)
kingtz 6
I named mine "king kong". You know, because it was BIG and angry.
boomsupersonic 0
Interesting... Now all the guys are giving their penis puppets names.
prince122 0
hhmmm mine will be named prince...caus i treat him like royality.
ILoveEggnog 7
Mine is named Destroyer of Worlds.
haUsuckedit 0
no it was long John!!
SnailFist 5
True Dat!
Madiluvscookies 0
Haha, oh gosh. Sounds like something my parents will do to my brother someday. Only...he doesn't do that. Yet. o.O
TinyDude 10
he does it ;D juz hasnt got caught yet.
Madiluvscookies 0
Haha, possible. 9 year olds are crazy beings.
sammy259 3
say something that ur parents did that's embarassing
Iamkeaten 0
that's great hahahahha I'm glad that's never happened to me.