Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish.... - FML

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

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And today, on Dr Phil…

Not a cheating!

Lockdown is driving us down

By Anonymous - Iceland

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

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By Wickls - United Kingdom

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

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By grandma - United States - Barnesville

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

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By Iknoweverything - United States - Mankato

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

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By not my idea - 27/4/2020 20:00

Not now, mom

Today, my mom learned via Facebook that my ex is now divorced. She took this as a "sign from God" that he’s my soulmate, and took it upon herself to try to set us up. Not only have I not talked to this fool since we broke up in high school, I’m not sure who’s more pissed off, me or my husband. FML

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By ManInTrouble - United States

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

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By COCKYmanUSC - United States

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

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By what the fuck - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

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By Coyote

Today, a couple of friends and I went camping in a national park. When we got there, a ranger came up to us and said, "There have been many sightings of coyotes, don't worry, if they charge you, they'll bluff and flee at the last moment." We met a coyote, it didn't bluff. FML

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By jen - United States

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

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By fuckmeintheeyewitharing - United States - La Mesa

Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML

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By Flipside - United States

Today, as I was driving home, I saw a woman get hit by a car. I immediately parked on the side of the road to assist her. I called an ambulance and stayed with her until they came to get her, comforting her all the while. When I returned to my car, I found a parking ticket in my windshield. FML

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By canwesayfail - United States - Gloucester

Today, the only part of my Psychology final that I was 100% confident in was my name. FML

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By Lily - United States

Today, during a dinner party, some friends brought up how sweet, innocent and caring they thought I was. I had to sit there as my drunk boyfriend cut them off and loudly argue that I was neither sweet nor innocent, and really nothing that special at all. FML

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By clumsy - United States - Stafford

Today, I slipped and fell on a piece of plastic. I thought nothing of it until I went to the doctor's and found out that I fractured and dislocated my kneecap. I'm now in a full leg brace and crutches. Prom is five days away. FML

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By frustrated - Australia

When clampers attack!

Today, despite being parked in my work's car park, my car got clamped. It cost me $150 to get the clamp removed and all I got was "bad luck" from my boss and the clamper. FML

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By unappreciated husband - United States - Pullman

Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML

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By Distracted - United States

Today, it was my first day at a new school. I pulled into the parking lot and saw this really cute guy. I was checking him out in my rear view mirror. When I looked ahead, there was something in the road, so I swirved real hard and took down an entire wooden fence. That something was a plastic bag. FML

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By loon - France

Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML

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By Mortifiedcharityworker - Austria

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML

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By lonelynessinCA - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

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By Samantha - Canada

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

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By BrakesNotBumpers - United States - Reading

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

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By Hairball - United States

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

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By leeseyxoxo - United States

Today, I learned, 15 years later, that my puppy from when I was 4, was not taken by Santa because he was in need of a reindeer. My parents took him to the shelter because they thought he was ugly. FML

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By lunab123 - United States - Potomac

Today, I got a letter from my long time boyfriend asking me to meet him at the place we first met for a "surprise". I can't remember where that even is. FML

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By bronco_lover89 - United States - Essexville

Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML

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By Char - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

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By Courtney - United States

Today, I found out my grandmother has severe road rage after she complained about Pennsylvania drivers for over an hour, then decided to rear end one because he wouldn't get out of her way. FML

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By NotAGoodStart - 7/3/2020 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Fashion Week

Today, I went on a blind date, meeting up in a park. I got there first and sat down to wait for him. After a while, a guy sat down next to me. I wasn't sure if it was him, so I texted him, asking if he'd arrived. His response was, "I'm already here, sat to the left of the old woman dressed like a gypsy." FML

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By not amused - Ireland - Cork

Today, my dad woke me up in a panic at five to ten in the morning, because he couldn't figure out how to type the "@" in an e-mail address. FML

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By anonymous - United States - El Cajon

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

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By nanuka_g - United States

Today, I went to the movies. Two teenagers behind me had already seen the picture once and shared the entire plot with their friend during first 10 minutes. The finale was intended to be a great twist and I knew it from the very beginning. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

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By noexceptions - United States

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Ridgeland

Today, a woman left our first date just because I didn't like the same character as her on a TV show. FML

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By BG1059 - United States - Irving

Today, my best friend since first grade, who I've been in love with for years and finally hooked up with last week, asked me for advice. He wanted to know if he should start a long distance relationship with a girl he hooked up with last night. FML

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By tryingtobepretty101 - United States

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

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Top comments

By perdix | 29

#737509 - Saturday 26 December 2009 19:09

Maybe they'll give you a dungeon as a wedding gift!

By FHGrif | 0

#737268 - Saturday 26 December 2009 16:15

Well do they aprove?

COMMENTS

By iFruit | 0

#737245 - Saturday 26 December 2009 16:06

OMG that would be so awkward nand embarrassing... whats wrong with your bf?

Reply

00yoda4 | 0

#986436 - Thursday 29 April 2010 4:40

everything humanly possible

Reply

changesinme | 0

#3575096 - Saturday 12 November 2011 7:15

Dad thinking
'That explains the handcuffs, whips and candle wax I found'

By FHGrif | 0

#737268 - Saturday 26 December 2009 16:15

Well do they aprove?

Reply

hellokittywhore | 0

#1234869 - Friday 13 August 2010 12:19

they probably was all " ohhemmgee!!!!! me too!!!" and pulled out their bondage toys! :D cuz bondage is funnnn :DD

Reply

tpike1296 | 11

#4943374 - Tuesday 18 September 2012 3:27

No, they probably weren't all like that.

By Butcher_1419 | 0

#737290 - Saturday 26 December 2009 16:27

don't believe you. need pics

Reply

mazuma | 0

#1031938 - Wednesday 16 June 2010 6:15

agreed.. PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN!!!

By weezybaby22 | 0

#737426 - Saturday 26 December 2009 18:06

what's a bondage fetish?

Reply

youngbutwise15 | 5

#738142 - Sunday 27 December 2010 2:15

#5, a bondage fetish is when you get sexual plasure from being bound/tied up.

Reply

monster_tamer | 11

#742247 - Tuesday 29 December 2010 5:08

Oh. X3 I always thought it had to do with marriage... stupid me. X.x

Reply

chooch556 | 0

#1660788 - Sunday 7 November 2010 4:05

haha tamer

Reply

melissa333jade | 3

#2951337 - Friday 22 July 2011 14:18

still dont get it????

Reply

Takaska | 0

#2956412 - Saturday 23 July 2011 6:36

Bondage= being tied up, or restrained in some way.
Fetish= something that gives someone a sexual thrill, or sexual pleasure.
Bondage Fetish= when someone has this type of Fetish, the get sexually aroused from being tied up, or restrained in some way.

By Erindub | 0

#737454 - Saturday 26 December 2009 18:28

Well thats just plain embarrassing : ( sorry sweetie.

By KingHumanity | 0

#737476 - Saturday 26 December 2009 18:40

Well? Tie him up and spank his ass!

With your boobs.

By Shmeaty | 0

#737481 - Saturday 26 December 2009 18:46

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By perdix | 29

#737509 - Saturday 26 December 2009 19:09

Maybe they'll give you a dungeon as a wedding gift!

By truth215 | 0

#737527 - Saturday 26 December 2009 19:23

oooo kinky

By DreamerofWorlds | 0

#737555 - Saturday 26 December 2009 19:51

OP- Wow, that's embarrassing. Had something similar happen to me once. FYL
Shmeaty- Are you suggesting that you have no kinks or fetishes? If not, F YOUR life for having a boring sex life. Seriously, be a little bit more open minded about the interests of others, even if they don't match yours.