Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML
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Top comments
jess6blondie9 3
Haha aww. All parents are going to embarrass you with the stories from when you were younger, don't worry.
insanesna1l 0
and in Australia it's pronounced "Beer"
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Comments (241)
deeroseryan 8
awweh, sorry man:(. is she still with you?
gchwood 2
who didn't?
markusabcdef 0
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Petunia888 13
Hahahhahahahaha! I added this to my favorites!
BabyC_2011 1
hahahaha This just made my day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i added it to my favorites :)
Skeleton_fml 1
Haha I bet you even played with it too.
randombitches1 0
if she still stayed with u and is able to keep a straight face when talking to you, she's a keeper!
Kelseyk96 7
....If Your Embarrased bout her knowing....Why you put it on here for everyone to know?? (: Just Sayin!
kykyshay 0
well don't stick your penis in a sock puppet.
fmladvice 0
So what you were young and naive she'll understand.