Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML
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Top comments
jess6blondie9 3
Haha aww. All parents are going to embarrass you with the stories from when you were younger, don't worry.
insanesna1l 0
and in Australia it's pronounced "Beer"
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Comments (241)
prince122 0
I HATE SUPRISE BONERS ITS LIKE SUPRISE MOTHA FUCKA WHEN IM IN THE MOST PUBLIC PLACE EVER... i just remember that parrody of katy perrys fire works by barelypolitical
hcovballer247 0
haha you are easily entertained
LittleMonsterSam 5
and get this IT STILL FITS!
katies94 0
yea I agree f**k ur life!
Katie_the_Great 6
OP why would you do such a thing?
epenter60 0
hahaah poor u
mx_17 0
that's not embarassing! I still do that to this day!!!!!
kennababy 0
ya that's embarrassing.. no offense or anything :)
purryellow 0
#90 I see yu got the loshen near yu
grooglius 0
just wondering, how did ur parents know that u did that???
What_Exactly 0
"This is my sock puppet his name is Dick! He's quite a cocky fellow!Sometimes is hard to be friends with him because he pisses me off. I gave him a bone once. He sure likes that! He also has occasional growth spurts and perks up!" ahh so many things this can be interpreted into.
RawrB3 0
<3 genius ha ha