Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jess6blondie9 3
Haha aww. All parents are going to embarrass you with the stories from when you were younger, don't worry.
insanesna1l 0
and in Australia it's pronounced "Beer"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (241)
theten_fml 9
I put a sock on my door knob. stick my penis in my girlfriend and talk to her.
BWill9014 4
Looool
CarleeBugg123 5
Well.. I used to drink out of the toilet. And put food in my diaper and save it for later. You're not alone.
johnbugg 0
i love you
xxphillyfreshxx 0
heyy wats up
johnbugg 0
i love you jess6blondie9 lol
gmanwilson 0
and now you're telling us to save your parents the trouble!
IHeartJimi02 0
That's so embarrassing! I'm sure your girlfriend has embarrassing stories to op.
bryson9 0
Ha you dinked a sock
persianjr1 7
and how exactly would it be on accident?