Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML
Today, my sister told me that the only reason I like one guy is because he looks exactly like the guy that dumped me. I showed her two pictures to argue against it, and ended up proving her right. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML
Today, the guy I made cookies for, spent hours getting ready for, and drove 3 hours in traffic to see never actually wanted me to come. When I knocked on his door, he opened it, but immediately closed it in my face. He then texted me saying, "I met someone else." FML
Caligirl1996 tells us more.
OP here. Yes, there is more to the situation that I could not explain with so few characters. Him and I go to college together, and we have been dating for close to three months. I left for summer, but he stayed on campus because he is taking a summer course; therefore, we talked about me coming to his dorm, on our campus, for a visit because we missed each other. I do admit that I should have recognized that he was not mature enough to maintain a long distance relationship but we all make mistakes right?
Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML
Prejudice
Today, I found the courage to tell my parents about my boyfriend. They simply reacted by lecturing me about how much he'll ruin my life, and how much they don't like him. They haven't met him yet. FML
Enjoy!
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML
Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML
Today, I made out with a boy for the first time. I belched into his mouth. FML
NoMoreTacoBell tells us more.
Hahaha I never thought this would get posted! So the long story is, me and this boy have been best friends for a long time, Taco Bell and burping contests are a regular part of our friendship (and many other less-gross things). First of all let's clear up that I DID NOT VOMIT in his mouth. Not that a burp is much better but oh well. We just started dating recently so I was mortified, but our being best friends helped us both laugh it off in the end. Definitely should have called this one TacoBelch.
Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML
Today, I received a beautiful, heart-felt text from my boyfriend detailing all the ways he loved me. He probably should have emphasized just how big his heart is though because he sent the text to three other women too. Thank you, group messaging. FML
What a tool
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML
Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML
Today, my girlfriend randomly confessed to basically having a "phobia" of monogamy. But don't worry, she defensively assured me she's never ever cheated on me, even though I never said she had, so I guess that's okay then. FML
Today, I realized out how sad my love life is when I got excited that the number a girl gave me turned out to really be hers. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". FML
Today, my girlfriend bought two tickets for a cruise to the Bahamas. Too bad the second ticket isn't for me. I guess her ex-boyfriend will have a wonderful time with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML
Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML
Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML
jessiebear159 tells us more.
Thank you for congratulating me. I agree that my father's response was probably just from shock. He called me not long after we hung up the first time and apologized for reacting that way. I am the youngest of his children and his only daughter, he may just not be ready to let me go yet. He has only been married once, to my mother, and they have been married happily for 22 years. I appreciate the advice that was given and I plan to talk to him more about his concerns when he gets back this coming week.
Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML
Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML
BadGoldDigger tells us more.
OP here! The below is going to be pretty tl;dr, so I apologize! :P This has been an ongoing issue ever since we started the house buying process, though I'm pretty sure she has never really like me . I guess she didn't feel threatened until my fiance and I were going to have something legally tying us together. Aaaaand the reason why I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me is because I'm Asian(well, half, so I guess I'm not white enough for her...?) She made a comment when my fiance and I tried dating in high school and broke up about being glad she's not going to have any Asian grand babies. ANYWAYS. He came home from his parents' house pissed as usual because both his parents are super negative. Fortunately, his dad seems to like me, but picks at everything my fiance does. His mom kept asking him questions like, "Are you really happy with her?" "Does she make you happy?" She had asked him where I was at and he told her I was out with friends and she had the audacity to suggest I was cheating on him. Her reasoning, "your dad and I don't see our friends very often." Never mind the fact that my fiance hangs out with his friends until 2AM just about every Saturday night doing nerd things. But I'm not allowed to have friends, apparently. She even took his sarcasm seriously when he told her he was going to have to buy me a nice sink for the kitchen. It has been like that every time he goes to see them(he doesn't wonder why I don't want to go over there) so it has gotten to the point he is going to basically tell them to (nicely) **** off or he's going to stop visiting until they can play nice. Irony is, his grandma from his dad's side used to treat his mom like dirt for the longest time. So unless it's a family tradition, you would think she would understand. Good thing for my fiance is that both my parents adore him and are really supportive of the both of us. I know it's because they both came from families that had a hard time accepting the other.
Family values
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML
Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML
WolfAvenge tells us more.
WolfAvenge 22
I actually do have his number! We go to film school together but haven't hung out much. We were at a shoot for a fashion show. I totally plan on talking with him more, maybe asking to go out on a date soon too ;) Since I joined the film club we will be seeing a lot of each other from now on anyway. I just want to hang out with him more first though, but I'm definitely interested if he still is XD
Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML
Today, I woke up to "we're leaving". I'm now homeless because my Dad and his girlfriend got into an argument over toilet paper. FML
Happiest place on Earth
Today, I took my family to Disneyland. My husband had more fun than my five year-old daughter. He was hitting on the princesses. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my little sister knocking on my door. Today's my birthday, so I thought she'd surprise me with something. Instead, she just asked me, "How's it feel to be a year older and still alone?" I just turned 20. The truth hurts. FML
Rocky209 tells us more.
Rocky209 17
Im not really into relationships, but a hang out buddy would be nice.