Today, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. My dad took one look at him, sighed and said, "You deserve someone better. Someone who is responsible, and has their priorities straight in life." Beyond upset, I told my dad that I love him. My dad disgruntledly responded, "I was talking to him." FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, it became apparent that my father knows more about my boyfriend than I do because he spends so much time interrogating him. FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
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Top comments
El_Boxeador 14
Tell your dad "Fortunately for me, he's other thing isn't too limp". I bet he won't think he's a queer anymore!! He might kill him tho...
brendejafulable 41
I hope you prepared him before.
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Comments (97)
brendejafulable 41
I hope you prepared him before.
rachelthelime_fml 29
That's horrifying... I hope your dad sees the error of his ways, and I hope your boyfriend wasn't offended, OP
Luchesi 7
wtf I hope that Lil nigga learns to be a man and how to shake a hand being babied won't get him anywhere foh
lexiieeex3 32
My Harvard grad uncle did the same thing to my boyfriend of 3 years. Still to this day thinks he's gay. It's disgusting how some people assume that gay people are weak and that everyone who is some sort of weak must be gay.
BakedTaters 16
The dad is probably not going to see the errors of his ways, he's from Alabama. Source: I'm from Alabama.
JackAtPage 13
Why does it matter if he's offended.. Get over it.
im_a_black_guy 10
The way I was raised was that a strong handshake showed a respectable man, and a weak on showed a frail man. It's really a guy thing
MrsDruidess 23
Thats how I was taught too! a weak handshake says alot about a person, not your sexual preferences but more important things. (really cause what gender you sexual partner is means nothing at all but your morals, respect, and the way you present yourself is important
kingnothing123x 11
Hand shakes mean everything to men it tells how the person is
Lorenzo1102 21
It's sad how a mans sexuality is based on everything except how they feel towards men/women
JazzHandsFML 28
this isn't a sexuality thing it's just a guys way of gauging the person. op's dad is just an asshole about it
DoomSkuller 28
#10 was making a bit more of a broad statement than referring to just the handshake thing alone, though including it in the broad statement. Talking about how a lot of society thinks a guy is automatically "gay" for liking things like chick flicks or softcore hard drinks and whatnot, even if he's sexually/romantically attracted to girls
russfml 31
A good handshake isn't just a sexual based thing of being gay. Even for interviews they tell you to have a strong hand shake. (Guy or girl) it shows confidence where as a limp one doesn't. Unfortunately the dad was an asshole about it no doubt
SookyLala 13
I was going to say this. a handshake will tell you everything you need to know about a man.
El_Boxeador 14
Tell your dad "Fortunately for me, he's other thing isn't too limp". I bet he won't think he's a queer anymore!! He might kill him tho...
Lanker 17
Might? Believe me, he will kill him. Dads hate hearing about their daughters' sex lives.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
Worth it.
ShadauxCat 2
"Don't worry. He makes up for that limpness elsewhere. Believe me."
rozalyn77 15
tell him to shake it off
tranced_ 45
I laughed more than I should have :")
fmlsams 27
#37 - Thanks for letting us know.
mustanghp 3
A weak handshake means you're queer
Benmantha 31
Shouldn't homosexuals actually be the ones having strong handshakes?
abNormal62 23
Lmfao
leogachi 15
#8 is implying hand jobs.
AnOriginalName 19
I'm pretty sure most guys give themselves hand jobs, regardless of orientation.
cristy91 33
Was it actually limp or was your dad just expecting something firmer? Unless your bf is from another country with a different "meet and greet" culture, a firm handshake is standard, and this applies to all genders. Now, your dad accusing him of being gay based on one incident is pretty out there, rude to you and he definitely needs to cool it with the machismo.
chosha_fml 26
Sorry OP. I hope your boyfriend wasn't put off by your dad's stupid and homophobic comment.
Brandi_Faith 33
No offence, and this is totally off topic, but I hate that word "homophobic." Homophobic means to be afraid of homosexuals. In this situation the dad would be ****-hater or ****-judger or something. It sounds like he doesn't like them, not that he's afraid of them. I know people say that they don't like homosexuals because they're afraid of them, but I doubt that's the case with most. I think it's a dislike, like if someone hated emo's or something you wouldn't call them emophobic. I feel like the majority of people that are called homophobic should really be called ****-judger or ****-hater. Just makes more sense to me. Either way they're wrong, but I feel like we should at least get the right term. :) (Totally random I know, I hope I didn't offend anyone, I just feel like the word isn't the right word)
Shrike 23
Actually, according to every reputable dictionary I checked, the suffix "phobe" means either fear OR hatred/intense dislike or aversion to something. So no, "homophobe" doesn't mean someone who's just afraid of gay people. In my experience, the people who have a problem with that word tend to be bigots who are desperate to assert that they're not AFRAID of gays.
tantanpanda 26
guess what? I hate it when people think that the only thing phobe means is afraid of. like #67 said, the suffix "phobe" doesn't just mean afraid. Words like hydrophobic does not mean that molecules are afraid of water. It could mean afraid, but it could also mean an aversion or dislike for. in this case, a non polar molecule would have an aversion to the water.
TallMist 32
#65 Merriam Webster's definition of the word homophobe: a person who hates or is afraid of homosexuals or treats them badly
hasooon 24
Gold, your father is.
Llama_Face89 33
Nice try, Yoda.