By L_lives - United States - San Francisco Today, I realized out how sad my love life is when I got excited that the number a girl gave me turned out to really be hers. FML I agree, your life sucks 30375 You deserved it 2951 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I had to quit my job. Why? Because I don't have a babysitter anymore. All I did was tell them I didn't want them mocking my baby when he cries. FML I agree, your life sucks 2000 You deserved it 299 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/1/2021 08:02 - United States - Gwynn Oak Holiday cheer Today, I’m convinced my mother in law comes over every holiday just to make me miserable. She comes in, criticizes me food, snarks then ignores the kids. I dread every holiday and spend it getting drunk and casting F-you glances at my husband. Is it wrong to buy her a casket for the next holiday? Is it really? FML I agree, your life sucks 855 You deserved it 108 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fatty magoo - United States - Kirkland Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML I agree, your life sucks 44200 You deserved it 15910 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By conductingfromthegrave - United States Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML I agree, your life sucks 55214 You deserved it 4545 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Skimilk - Australia Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML I agree, your life sucks 29007 You deserved it 5846 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Adulting Today, I accidentally washed an entire box of macaroni and cheese with a load of laundry. I'm 25 and do not have kids. FML I agree, your life sucks 1992 You deserved it 2577 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Belgium - Herenthout Today, I told one of my classmates for the third time that I'm not into guys and wasn't interested in going on a date with him. He just looked at me blankly and said "So I'll pick you up at 9?" FML I agree, your life sucks 24231 You deserved it 2168 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By assgoblins piss me off - Canada - Camrose Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML I agree, your life sucks 47096 You deserved it 5566 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fefe - United States Today, tired of my social anxiety making me look uncool, I told everyone I was going out partying tonight. I'm actually just going to watch 'Jersey Shore' and pretend I'm with the cast. Something even more sad? I'm really excited. FML I agree, your life sucks 32647 You deserved it 18176 234 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Chicago Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML I agree, your life sucks 22158 You deserved it 1239 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I flew home from college to see my parents. Later I found the expensive painting and hand-made necklace I mailed to my mom for mother's day while taking out the trash. FML I agree, your life sucks 62578 You deserved it 3113 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, it was my first day as an animal control officer. My first dispatch was to collect a dog that had been hit by a car. I had to clean up my dead dog on my first day of a job that barely pays rent. FML I agree, your life sucks 59352 You deserved it 4207 211 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sprocket - Hong Kong Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML I agree, your life sucks 47992 You deserved it 28889 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I had guests over for a Christmas party. One of them wore new blue jeans and managed to get large dye stains on three different walls. They won't come off. Guess who has to paint his living room again. FML I agree, your life sucks 6883 You deserved it 483 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alphabetman - United States Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Thinking I was being cute I spelled out "Marry Me" in alphabet soup, because that's her favorite. She took one look at it and started to laugh. She then began to spell out "no". She still ate the soup. FML I agree, your life sucks 45843 You deserved it 6752 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sam_666777 - United States - Farmingdale Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 40967 You deserved it 10357 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet. Trying to be a bit flirty, I slowly slid two fingers down his calf and mockingly tickled his feet. He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose, nearly breaking it. FML I agree, your life sucks 11836 You deserved it 43442 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By APRRECIATION - Canada Today, I got back from a service trip to Kenya, where I had no running water or electricity. I encouraged my friends to go green and help raise awareness by conserving as much electricity as possible. I return home to find that all my lights have been on for 2 weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 16412 You deserved it 63915 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cdn_steed - United States Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML I agree, your life sucks 35881 You deserved it 4640 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Selfish Whiner - United Kingdom - Scunthorpe Today, I started seeing a therapist for my depression. While I was looking through the magazines in the waiting room, I found an article accusing people who see therapists of being selfish and having no real problems. FML I agree, your life sucks 48910 You deserved it 5666 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/11/2020 15:05 - Hong Kong - Central District Does this smell weird? Today, I found out that the shampoo I’ve been using has yogurt in, following a prank my boyfriend did. Turns out he forgot about it and I’ve been using it for 5 days now. FML I agree, your life sucks 758 You deserved it 104 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/11/2020 17:04 - United States - El Macero Ding dong Today, I got an ingrown hair. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it were anywhere other than my penis. FML I agree, your life sucks 788 You deserved it 112 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML I agree, your life sucks 75133 You deserved it 4601 218 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - El Cajon Today, my psycho landlord threatened to take me to court if I don't pay my rent on time this month. I'd totally understand if he weren't my father-in-law, and if the reason I didn't pay on time before was because of hospital fees I'd incurred for an emergency appendectomy. FML I agree, your life sucks 24497 You deserved it 2546 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ahook1 - Australia Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML I agree, your life sucks 20259 You deserved it 53862 191 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alex Knight The cake was not a lie. Today, I bought a cake. I then immediately forgot what I was carrying, opened the door to my car, and tossed the bag into the back seat. FML I agree, your life sucks 1836 You deserved it 4010 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By iwannagotomiamitoo - United States - Brookline Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML I agree, your life sucks 53565 You deserved it 3138 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because her father, who abandoned her before she was born and just reentered her life, doesn't approve. FML I agree, your life sucks 40411 You deserved it 2414 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fenny - United States Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML I agree, your life sucks 15353 You deserved it 74407 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML I agree, your life sucks 27543 You deserved it 2325 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WTF? - United States - Albuquerque Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML I agree, your life sucks 38821 You deserved it 3950 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sexaddict - France Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML I agree, your life sucks 13948 You deserved it 80851 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dumbdad - United States Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML I agree, your life sucks 26174 You deserved it 3460 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hackshack - Brazil - Porto Alegre Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML I agree, your life sucks 25383 You deserved it 3923 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By limecat - United States Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML I agree, your life sucks 12267 You deserved it 36934 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ConfusedGinger - United States - Downingtown Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML I agree, your life sucks 8795 You deserved it 2213 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihatebeingacashier Today, I handed a middle-aged woman her change of $0.75 with three quarters. She looked at the change bewildered and threw the coins down, asking if she thought I could get away with only giving her thirty cents. I had to explain to her how much a quarter is worth. FML I agree, your life sucks 13145 You deserved it 721 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AnonymousQuagga - United States - Flower Mound Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML I agree, your life sucks 38421 You deserved it 16261 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By greenandswirly - United States - Columbia City Today, I injured my knee at a Zumba class, a class I joined to lose weight so my knees wouldn't hurt so much. Now I can't even go for a leisurely walk. FML I agree, your life sucks 5588 You deserved it 786 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mdp624 - United States - Brookhaven Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML I agree, your life sucks 28626 You deserved it 1552 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Peng1995 | 11 #6305898 - Saturday 30 May 2015 23:58 Always take that chance when you get one from someone you like. Send a private message 175 1 Reply
By Mauskau | 35 #6305982 - Sunday 31 May 2015 0:40 Am I the only one that prefers to be texted than called? Send a private message 61 4 Reply
By Peng1995 | 11 #6305898 - Saturday 30 May 2015 23:58 Always take that chance when you get one from someone you like. Send a private message 175 1 Reply
Reply xx000o | 27 #6306396 - Sunday 31 May 2015 12:45 That number could change your life. Send a private message 8 0 Reply
By hotheadslav | 17 #6305899 - Saturday 30 May 2015 23:58 This doesn't make sense... Follow up please. Send a private message 2 3 Reply
Reply Razell | 13 #7679900 - Monday 20 August 2018 21:59 It makes perfect sense. A girl will give a guy a fake number if she's not interested in him and he's being persistent enough that only a number will make him go away. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By DonnaNoble_fml | 10 #6305901 - Saturday 30 May 2015 23:59 A girl gave you get number? You're right. Your love life sucks. As a girl, I only give guys my number if I don't like them Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By allie2590 | 30 #6305903 - Saturday 30 May 2015 23:59 That's a good thing, no? Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By swaglesshipster | 23 #6305927 - Sunday 31 May 2015 0:05 Yay! Go call her and turn that progress into something even better ;) Send a private message 30 2 Reply
By Lorenzo1102 | 21 #6305928 - Sunday 31 May 2015 0:05 Now use that opportunity! If you don't the answer is always no Send a private message 18 1 Reply
By harjotxo | 12 #6305933 - Sunday 31 May 2015 0:07 Congrats! Hope things work out :) Send a private message 8 5 Reply
By Wizardo | 33 #6305936 - Sunday 31 May 2015 0:08 Its a legitimate reaction these days. Be smooth OP, be smooth. Send a private message 29 1 Reply
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with a meth dealer I just met online. Of course this occurred at his place, since he's on home detention for drug trafficking... I agree, your life sucks 51 You deserved it 351 5 Comments
Today, I tried pouring water on myself like in Coyote Ugly to the song "Pour Some Sugar On Me." I ended up waterboarding myself and I didn’t stop until... I agree, your life sucks 90 You deserved it 474 6 Comments