By CassidyQueen - 06/06/2015 02:14 - United States - Warrenton

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 239
You deserved it 5 575
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Top comments

naturallyfuck 17

Well I wouldn't let you touch my apple jacks either

433 13
nkb94 18

Well shit. I hope he wasn't serious.

266 15

Comments

nkb94 18

Well shit. I hope he wasn't serious.

266 15
slingerslasher 24

He probably was, let's be honest Apple Jacks are addictive as crack Apple cracks

135 2
Tthug 34

Maybe he keeps his drugs in the apple jacks box? I think you're onto something #13. Doesn't want her finding out how he makes his dough.

74 1
Ms_ValS 27

Haha OP that's bloody hilarious. It's just so fun when the person you live with and fall asleep next to threatens to sever parts of your body to be fed to the dog. Seriously though, if he seemed oddly in rage when he said it, he might have just given you a peek at his true colours.

19 2
weswheatley 14

I don't think OP should find out if he was serious

3 1
xDeadlyBlade99x 9

Well guys you know what they say: Home-Sweet-Home.

2 0
wRIPPERw 23

I doubt he was serious. I seriously hope not.

89 2
Hoopachi 19

If so then this could get very ugly.

3 5
DaBayst 15

Apple Jacks are serious business.

9 3
zinoxity 23

He was probably serious about her not touching his cereal. I hate it when roommates eat my food.

6 2
JohnTheDonJuan 11

Why so serious?☆

0 1
naturallyfuck 17

Well I wouldn't let you touch my apple jacks either

433 13
slingerslasher 24

I'm cuckoo for Apple jacks!!! wait shit wrong cereal still not sharing any of my Apple jacks though

48 5
JMichael 25

If any of you *******..touch my lucky charms, I'll bash your skull in with my pot of gold and then feed you to count chocula.

55 4
Meettitan 14

Lucky Charms look like cat food with marshmallows.

44 1
HoboRain 16

You have now effectively ruined luckey charms for me for the rest of my life...

25 5
knight2109 12

There is always cinnamon toast crunch.

34 3
briang959 47

Plot twist! She got kicked out of her parents house because she touched their apple jacks.

57 4
MrConcise 34

I'm repping cornflakes! Does that make me old?

21 2
logicnazi 18

#49 it's ok cuz nobody eats the cat food anyway. #idoitforthemallows

14 3
CanadiAnM8 24

Well, if you want a place to live, guess you can't eat any apple jacks.

57 1
MisterEx 28

Technically she can. She won't be able to tell if it's cold outside anymore though.

51 5
nataliewby 25

You don't know what happens when you touch a man's Apple Jacks, do you?

39 5
1dvos_grl3 21

I know what happens when a man touches my Apple Jacks.. Death.

31 4
moron011 12

Are we still talking about cereal here or...?

46 5
bethanyhopkins 49

Wow, he doesn't **** around when it comes to cereal. FYL

42 2
littleking94 14

You can touch my apple jacks. Really though, that's ******

5 12
curiouslilbird 19

Either he has a really sick sense of humor, or he has some serious problems... :/

34 3
bigdfootball97 24

Not sure if that's innuendo or not…

6 4
ZombieSazza 34

Well then, don't touch his Apple jacks!

10 2