Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML
Haha OP that's bloody hilarious. It's just so fun when the person you live with and fall asleep next to threatens to sever parts of your body to be fed to the dog. Seriously though, if he seemed oddly in rage when he said it, he might have just given you a peek at his true colours.