Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in...

By WolfAvenge - 21/5/2015 08:01 - United States - Phoenix

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

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WolfAvenge Say more :

I actually do have his number! We go to film school together but haven't hung out much. We were at a shoot for a fashion show. I totally plan on talking with him more, maybe asking to go out on a date soon too ;) Since I joined the film club we will be seeing a lot of each other from now on anyway. I just want to hang out with him more first though, but I'm definitely interested if he still is XD

Love

DINOSAURS!!

Whatthefuckaburger

Vultures

By Anonymous - 14/3/2014 15:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my friend told me that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Since he's my friend, I didn't want to call him out too bad, so I joked that 90% of statistics are made up on the spot. He called me an idiot and lectured me on how I'd just made that figure up myself. I need new friends. FML

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By michael - 17/7/2019 12:07

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to shit out the second story window is a very bad idea. FML

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By hiitisbrooke - 23/11/2015 20:17 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I texted my friend asking if he'd like to join my "porno group". I meant promo. I quickly texted back correcting the mistake, but not before I received the nudes he sent. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/7/2012 10:42 - Australia

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/10/2014 20:38 - United States - Pittsburg

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/2/2015 02:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's 1 year old. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 10:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

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By Disappointment - 26/5/2017 19:00 - United States - Gresham

Today, I flew home to visit my parents. We haven't seen each other in two years, I've gotten a few tattoos done since, and I knew they wouldn't approve, so I bought whole new outfits that covered everything and looked professional. When I got there, the first thing my mom says to me is, "Is that a nose ring!?" FML

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By gr8 - 28/9/2018 17:30

Today, because I had to leave the country without notice and didn't have reception to notify my college, I have been irreversibly dropped from all my classes without a refund and will have to reapply for January. FML

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By amidreaming?? - 11/6/2012 21:45 - United Kingdom - Bushey

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

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By D.W. - 3/11/2017 00:30

Today, the new Apple update put all of the 100+ nudes I'd sent my boyfriend on his mother's phone because their accounts are linked. FML

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By Needasafe1234 - 25/9/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/9/2018 13:00

Today, my neighbour's kitten got run over, so I bought her chocolate as comfort food. When I gave it to her she joked, "Now I'm going to get fat." It was at that moment that my brain stepped out and my mouth took over and I heard myself say, "You deserve it!" FML

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By Noname - 15/2/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

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By gotthewrongman - 17/12/2009 17:49 - United States

Today, I found that my Facebook account had been hacked, and all my friends were deleted. As I tried to add them all back, Facebook reported me as a hacker for adding too many people too quickly. FML

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By santashelper - 5/12/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

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By dmvsucks - 13/9/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, I was at the DMV getting temporary tags for my new car. While waiting in line, a huge fat lady behind me felt the need to run her finger down the scar on the back of my neck. FML

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By CarrieRedburn - 27/7/2011 08:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML

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By turnedintoinsomniac - 21/1/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

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By flustered - 6/5/2012 14:57 - United States - Rapid City

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/5/2020 20:00

Vultures

Today, after spending a few weeks getting to know my birth father and thinking he seemed decent, he's realised my adoptive parents aren’t rich and no, I can’t lend him a few grand. Now, he’s vanished and written several nasty Facebook posts about not being able to trust family. FML

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By iamnotfat - 6/2/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know". FML

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By tikizombie - 31/8/2010 00:04 - Canada

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

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By longest minute - 25/5/2016 11:28 - United States - Cypress

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/6/2020 02:02

Emergency haircut

Today, I told off my crazy sister-in-law after she made my wife cry for putting on weight during lockdown. Then, as I was sleeping in my armchair, the crazy bitch snuck into the house and cut off every single one of my meter-long dreadlocks. Now I got a BALD HEAD. FML

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By Awkward - 1/12/2012 22:11 - Bahrain

Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML

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By ugly - 31/8/2010 12:11 - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to school. I was applying some makeup when I noticed a little boy watching me. When I was finished I heard him whisper to his mom, "I thought make up was supposed to make you pretty." FML

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By Anonymous - 13/9/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, I received a rejection letter from a college that I'd applied to 6 years ago. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/1/2013 06:18 - United States - La Marque

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

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By Bigpoppa0507 - 31/8/2011 14:02 - Canada

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

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By Stormbringer - 1/2/2011 06:37

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

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By Robert Herrin - 14/8/2018 18:30

Kinky Crab

Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/12/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was going into an office building. There was a boy and a man ahead of me, and the boy held the door open for me. Surprised, I said "What a nice young man," and he said. "It's ok, ma'am; my dad says to always hold the doors open for old ladies." I'm 43. FML

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By SwingingGallows - 15/7/2016 15:43

Today, I bought my mother an expensive TV she had been looking at. After I bought it, she continued browsing for more stuff. I told her I couldn't afford the extra items. She got mad and called me "selfish". FML

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By ThoroughlyCreepedOut - 7/3/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

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By thanksbro - 20/9/2010 19:26 - United States

Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/9/2010 03:00 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, and about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/2/2010 15:40 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/2/2012 04:25 - United States

Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML

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By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 12:09 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML

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Top comments

By OysterPearls | 33

#6297279 - Thursday 21 May 2015 15:35

Pretty and mysterious? You're a real catch OP!

By brendejafulable | 40

#6297280 - Thursday 21 May 2015 15:35

I bet he thought it was cute.

COMMENTS

By OysterPearls | 33

#6297279 - Thursday 21 May 2015 15:35

Pretty and mysterious? You're a real catch OP!

By brendejafulable | 40

#6297280 - Thursday 21 May 2015 15:35

I bet he thought it was cute.

lil_ham1644 | 29

#6297339 - Thursday 21 May 2015 17:06

I have heard that cute points are worth more than sexy points.

By A07 | 48

#6297281 - Thursday 21 May 2015 15:37

Am I the only one who finds this to be cute and not a bad thing?

fakedsincerity | 32

#6297297 - Thursday 21 May 2015 15:55

Sounded pretty adorable to me.

SweetasCandy0609 | 28

#6297324 - Thursday 21 May 2015 16:45

no #3 I think it is very cute, and since I doubt OP gave the guy a chance to get her number hopefully she runs into him again and he thinks that it was cute and he asks her, you should give us a follow-up OP.

trex454 | 21

#6297442 - Thursday 21 May 2015 19:14

nothing cuter then a girl with low self-esteem...

jtfrisch | 22

#6297466 - Thursday 21 May 2015 19:54

#34...lmao

SweetasCandy0609 | 28

#6297473 - Thursday 21 May 2015 19:59

seriously #34 we don't see it as her having low self esteem we see it as her being shy and innocent which their is nothing wrong with.

WolfAvenge | 22

#6297515 - Thursday 21 May 2015 20:59

I actually do have his number! We go to film school together but haven't hung out much. We were at a shoot for a fashion show. I totally plan on talking with him more, maybe asking to go out on a date soon too ;)

Since I joined the film club we will be seeing a lot of each other from now on anyway. I just want to hang out with him more first though, but I'm definitely interested if he still is XD

James_is_Mexican | 25

#6297538 - Thursday 21 May 2015 21:36

Congrats op! Have fun :)

austinpk | 14

#6297574 - Thursday 21 May 2015 23:31

You're eyes are very pretty

Drakone | 9

#6297702 - Friday 22 May 2015 3:01

#GiGGleSnort

Shmatterhorn | 38

#6297855 - Friday 22 May 2015 7:22

Good luck! I bet he'll understand, and you will have a good story to tell in the future.

MeowMcMeowenson | 19

#6300908 - Monday 25 May 2015 11:19

I don't know why no guy has ever called you pretty you are a very attractive woman not to be flirty

By iwanttogotoparis | 26

#6297283 - Thursday 21 May 2015 15:38

Good first impression

Hoopachi | 19

#6297536 - Thursday 21 May 2015 21:32

Who said it was the first time they met? He may have just worked up some courage and told her his feelings.

By chronicB | 19

#6297284 - Thursday 21 May 2015 15:39

Yeah a girl did that to me once and it just made me want her more ;-)

By rockwrench | 18

#6297286 - Thursday 21 May 2015 15:41

And whats wrong with that? Sounds like the start of something good.

By Gaernem | 17

#6297287 - Thursday 21 May 2015 15:42

Don't worry OP, a lot of gentlemen will find that cute and not think much of it. Plus giggle-snort hide and seek is like a little bonus round for compliments.