Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML
Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML
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Top comments
Taurus_ChicKa 36
Wow, great first impression. Hope she didn't realize what it was. Still, if you just met them, you should have respected their house more. At least wait until the fifth time you're at their house...
gobiteme2 34
Should have looked her in the eye and said dessert was great.
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Comments (20)
gobiteme2 34
Should have looked her in the eye and said dessert was great.
Zanquis 22
you mean she had a great appetizer (it happened before Dinner)
Ashley Marie Barton 3
Lawsuit!!!
Allie614032 34
Um... ew.
Glowworm56 26
Seems like his mom took it pretty well.
jfsiv 17
apparently not as well as the OP did.
fucksnotgiven 7
Boo, you ***** ? (Issa joke. This will probably get moderated soon)
Taurus_ChicKa 36
Wow, great first impression. Hope she didn't realize what it was. Still, if you just met them, you should have respected their house more. At least wait until the fifth time you're at their house...
Hellblazer_Sith 25
How disrespectful doing that at his parents house. YDI from me.
sumocj 14
One word, manscape
mitolit 12
Just lie and say you chew on your hair from time to time
Mungolikecandy 19
I gather manscaping is not his thing?