By BadGoldDigger - 26/05/2015 12:18 - United States

Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 393
You deserved it 2 407

BadGoldDigger tells us more.

OP here! The below is going to be pretty tl;dr, so I apologize! :P This has been an ongoing issue ever since we started the house buying process, though I'm pretty sure she has never really like me . I guess she didn't feel threatened until my fiance and I were going to have something legally tying us together. Aaaaand the reason why I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me is because I'm Asian(well, half, so I guess I'm not white enough for her...?) She made a comment when my fiance and I tried dating in high school and broke up about being glad she's not going to have any Asian grand babies. ANYWAYS. He came home from his parents' house pissed as usual because both his parents are super negative. Fortunately, his dad seems to like me, but picks at everything my fiance does. His mom kept asking him questions like, "Are you really happy with her?" "Does she make you happy?" She had asked him where I was at and he told her I was out with friends and she had the audacity to suggest I was cheating on him. Her reasoning, "your dad and I don't see our friends very often." Never mind the fact that my fiance hangs out with his friends until 2AM just about every Saturday night doing nerd things. But I'm not allowed to have friends, apparently. She even took his sarcasm seriously when he told her he was going to have to buy me a nice sink for the kitchen. It has been like that every time he goes to see them(he doesn't wonder why I don't want to go over there) so it has gotten to the point he is going to basically tell them to (nicely) fuck off or he's going to stop visiting until they can play nice. Irony is, his grandma from his dad's side used to treat his mom like dirt for the longest time. So unless it's a family tradition, you would think she would understand. Good thing for my fiance is that both my parents adore him and are really supportive of the both of us. I know it's because they both came from families that had a hard time accepting the other.

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Ignore her and buy the house anyway. If she keeps haranguing you, don't invite her to the housewarming.

Now I ain't sayin she a gold digger...

Comments

Best decision I made was buy a house. The younger you are when you buy the better.

#1: I agree completely. My mother told me I was "making the mistake of a lifetime" when I bought my house in my 20's and she was so wrong.

I was 23 when I bought my first house.

Why is it better to buy a house when you're younger? Not saying you're wrong, just wondering why that's the case.

The real estate market is booming when you are younger. You can sell houses in no time. Especially the younger you are its easier. Think about it. Wouldn't you buy a house from a baby? Actually, I have no idea either why it's better to be younger.

more equity you are basically building a rainy day fund with your mortgage. more you pay into it the more you can take out. as the old saying goes, 'gotta have money to make money".

#19 my parents didn't buy their home till they were in their 50s they got a 20yr mortgage. My house will be paid off by the when I'm in my 50s on a 30 yr mortgage.

Best to buy when you're young, instead of giving your money away to someone else by renting for 20 years. Build equity. My husband and I bought our house when I was 24 for $176K. Five years later, when I divorced him, I bought him out at a market value of $350K. And now five years later again, the house is worth $475K, and I'd have about $300K in my pocket if I sold it right now. If I was renting, I'd probably still have spent as much as I have now on rent vs mortgage, but you don't build equity.

#42 He better have been one hell of a dick for you to shit on him that bad in divorce. I'm at least hoping he deserved that instead of you mindlessly taking advantage of unfavorable laws.

I prefer renting than being indebted and giving money to bankers. Plus, house prices do nothing but go down, except in rich cities.

#59. So, instead of you giving money to banks, you give your money to the landlord to give to the banks? They get you one way or the other.

#50: Huh? #42 said they bought their ex out for the house at what was the fair market value at the time, which was far more than the two of them had paid for it originally. How is that "mindlessly taking advantage of unfavorable laws" or screwing someone in a divorce?

Thanks #67. #50, how did I take advantage of him? I paid out his half of the house at current market value, even though I paid the entire down payment, and half of the mortgage payments for five years. Pretty sure that's how it's supposed to work, split assets and debt down the middle, so each party gets an equal share. Fuck, I even split our DVD collection 50/50.

#68 Ah, alright, I read past that, sorta idiotically. I'm just used to hearing about guys getting screwed by dicorce.

How convenient of her

Sorry OP, it's hard when the future mother in law doesn't like you or has selective memory. Just ignore what she says to you

I think it's time to remind her of her predicament.

Now I ain't sayin she a gold digger...

But she ain't messin with no broke niggas

Ignore her and buy the house anyway. If she keeps haranguing you, don't invite her to the housewarming.

Your choice of word intriques me. I consider myself very lierate but never have I heard of haranguing. Is it a synonym of harassing?

It's more like an an impolite accusation. There's no need to harass when you harangue.

Harangue: a scolding or a long or intense verbal attack; diatribe.

#26 spelled literate wrong.

I'd rather merangue than harangue.

Ignore her accusations. If she can't respect your decisions than you shouldn't bother with her.

It's sad how many parents are very far from reality when it comes to their children. Try not to take it to heart, OP

Selective memory is a bitch, just ignore her and do what you want.

Steffi3 40

Even of you hadn't supported him, you're still buying it together. No reason for her to be mean at all.

Maybe she's insecure because her son is the gold digger.