Love: Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed...

By firehurts - 08/06/2015 23:38 - United States - Wallkill

Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 292

You deserved it 2 731

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/12/2011 07:00 - United States

Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 688

You deserved it 2 726

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 619

You deserved it 4 701

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 971

You deserved it 3 693

Great idea

By UnluckyLatina - 22/04/2016 03:30 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot when he screamed in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 671

You deserved it 12 282

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 548

You deserved it 14 911

Smash

By Unintended Victim - 08/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 105

By nickorion12 - 28/06/2016 14:21 - United States - Shawnee

Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast in bed", only to end up setting the kitchen on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 621

You deserved it 1 302

By sadinmass - 13/11/2010 13:24 - United States

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 589

You deserved it 5 768

By Happy 20th! - 28/07/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 794

You deserved it 4 602

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 16:32 - Senegal

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 697

You deserved it 11 759

keiNan_fml 35

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:47

This girl is on fire.

kingdutchhy 19

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:54

I guess you could say that your birthday celebrations went up in flames.

Comments

timb1234 13

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:46

Are you Russian?

brownapple 22

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:01

What has that got to do with her leg being on fire?

ColonelCusswords 24

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:52

#9 everything

keiNan_fml 35

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:47

This girl is on fire.

91hayek 31

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:48

Now that's what I call fire water!

keiNan_fml 35

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:50

Sorry to hear that. Happy birthday OP.

FunnnyGirrl 19

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:53

Your boyfriends not the sharpest tool in the shed...

leogachi 15

Tuesday 9 June 2015 14:13

It could be boyfriend's, for boyfriend is.

pauliegon 18

Wednesday 10 June 2015 0:15

You have large *******.

kingdutchhy 19

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:54

I guess you could say that your birthday celebrations went up in flames.

SubparAtBest 23

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:57

maybe OP is a guy.. in which case he would be Flamin'! ....ill let myself out.

nickaa827 13

Wednesday 10 June 2015 4:56

not even remotely funny

cgm387 1

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:00

sorry to hear that.

_Peppermint_ 34

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:03

Ouch!!!!! I hope that fire was put out quickly.

Diarrhea_Volcano 29

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:04

Now all you gotta do is pee it out

ColonelCusswords 24

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:55

I love taking life advice from you, diarrhea volcano

Keywords

Friends Love Awkward Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 524

You deserved it 1 300

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 192

The Top

Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 2 550

Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 83

Today, while playing ping pong, my brother got mad that he lost and threw the paddle at my head, causing me to fall backwards into the TV mounted on the wall. Now I have a concussion and have to pay to replace the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 386

You deserved it 218

Today, our sales administrator quit in the middle of the shift because he was tired of all the bullshit that was involved with running a business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 165

Today, after months of convincing from my friends, I finally bought a car they claimed would be a chick magnet. Wrong kind of "chick," mates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 78

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 127

You deserved it 6 758

Same thing different taste

Great idea

Smash

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