Intimacy

Needless to say she still makes fun of me for this, when she asks me for something she will say something like,"can you firmly grasp that soda and hand it to me?"

By bowler99 - 12/01/2015 16:43 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 293

You deserved it 15 157

You tried

By briiiiiiii123 - 12/01/2015 07:56 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 506

You deserved it 7 765

Thanks, I guess…

By reallyson? - 12/01/2015 05:28 - United States - South Hadley

Today, I got undressed in front of my boyfriend for the first time. His reaction? "You're chubbier than I expected." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 560

You deserved it 4 762

New isn't always good

By anonymous - 11/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Iowa City

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 254

You deserved it 32 484

By so much for romance - 11/01/2015 03:21 - United States - Queensbury

Today, I got a yeast infection, caused by the antibiotics for my UTI. I got the UTI after having sex for the first time in a year. A couple of minutes of sex have ruined my health. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 716

You deserved it 4 771

By sisterlylove - 10/01/2015 19:02 - United States - Hannibal

Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 419

You deserved it 13 928

By anon - 10/01/2015 02:13 - United States - Dallas

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 325

You deserved it 10 481

By EvilBubbles - 09/01/2015 03:45 - Trinidad and Tobago - Woodbrook

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 529

You deserved it 41 975

EvilBubbles tells us more.

EvilBubbles 9

Saturday 10 January 2015 2:05

Lol guys! This is my post and the anal sex argument was on and off all day. My laptop did an automatic audio test without my permission haha the whole class laughed about it today, all good.

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 178

You deserved it 3 382

Same

By Anonymous - 08/01/2015 14:24 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 995

You deserved it 6 095

Back and forth and back again

By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 19:37 - Guam - Barrigada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 131

You deserved it 3 940

By JefferyLillie - 07/01/2015 08:31 - United States - Fargo

Today, I thought one of my flatmates was beating his girlfriend, so I barged in about to stop him. Turned out they were having really rough sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 702

You deserved it 10 350

JefferyLillie tells us more.

JefferyLillie 16

Wednesday 7 January 2015 20:16

He and I both came from a bad back rounds. He turned some what out like his father. I've seen him him it women but never like beat them. We're as I turned out like my step dad.