Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML
Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
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Top comments
Oppression_fml 19
We all gotta start somewhere...
A07 48
Cut him some slack OP, atleast he's trying, most guys don't even bother according to this site.
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Comments (154)
Oppression_fml 19
We all gotta start somewhere...
iLike2Teabag 27
It's where you finish that counts, right?
TheBelt 19
The girlfriend: N-no colder... yeah.. yeah higher... no lower. . hot screeching hot, aaaaaannnd right there.
SweetasCandy0609 28
if he is to young to even know where the ******** them he should be having sex he could be one of those kids that think got can't get a girl pregnant in a pool or while on their period.
grogers311 20
I see what u did there #69
teyyoshi 19
what's the game indeed ？
leogachi 15
A lot of grown men have trouble finding the ********. It doesn't really have anything to do with age, he's probably just poorly informed of the female anatomy.
clemsi 20
What did you do to your keyboard 101 that caused it to spout a nearly incoherent string of words like that?
TheManInWhiteXx 9
Is....is that English @101?
crackfetus420 12
Stfu
snipesrock 9
It's really not hard to find...
insideoutoreo33 8
I'd say it's pretty hard....if you know what I mean ;)
helen_ellexo 22
#42 that'd be funny if it was referring to a penis not a ******
KitchKraft 21
#59 no, it still wouldn't.
TheMathMajor 26
Fun fact, women also get erections
Rkikkas9713 25
The ******** gets hard when stimulated, #59. There's no need to be rude to people.
Headcrab 29
As a woman you should know the ******** gets hard when stimulated.
VeganDarkLight 31
There must be something wrong about my body then as my ******** never got hard, yet I've had orgasms.
VeganDarkLight 31
There must be something wrong about my body then as my ******** never got hard, yet I've had orgasms. Edit: fu FML, why did you post it twice?
Arwen_Evenstar 37
Honestly she could've saved time by just outright showing him. Problem solved!
TheMathMajor 26
#90, you probably just haven't noticed it before. It has increased blood flow just like a penis during stimulation and will swell and get hard. The "hood" or skin over the ******** doesn't get hard, but often the ******** itself will grow and peek out from the hood.
wreckdit 29
Now I'm imagining some sort of perverted peek-a-boo
TrippingOnAcid 29
Still not sure how anyone can not be able to find it. It's literally right there.
Zebediabolical 45
Some are abnormally large and protruding. And on the other extreme some are tiny and hidden well. And of course, some dudes just don't care.
CoGhostRider 31
Wait, you mean it's not a myth?!
Zebediabolical 45
Of course it's real. It's the G-Spot and female ****** that are myth!
imkool136 22
It's easy to lose it, I've been with my girl for 2 yrs and still sometimes I struggle to get right on it.
TrippingOnAcid 29
Your profile says you love working with your hands though. I thought you'd be better practised.
kaitlynjane 28
It depends on each woman autonomically. Some women's vaginal areas are just shaped differently.
imkool136 22
Touché lol, but I'm also not a man ***** lol. I'm used to seeing what I'm working with, not just my hand down her pants or down the covers.
Nessco 36
Trust me, the g spot and female ****** are very real. If you're yet to get someone there or experience it yourself (depending on your gender) then keep trying. It's really worth it.
rhcpgurl 18
Did he find it?
KK3137 31
I'm guessing that, since the FML ends with the words "until he found it" and contains a precise time frame, yes, he found it...
FiendHunter 19
Was he smoking hot? Or stuck somewhere down in the arctic?
That_One_Guy_59 10
I think you might need a new boyfriend??
amanda182 19
Why does that make her need a new boyfriend? He's learning, and even better for her because she can train him to do it how she likes it.
That_One_Guy_59 10
I was just making a joke... but come on it's literally right there how could you miss it...
amanda182 19
Someone who's never experienced fingering or touching a ****** in general. They tend to not know where to rub. Just saying.
That_One_Guy_59 10
Very true indeed, just saying he could have looked it up or something
amanda182 19
Looked it up? Who googles how to finger a girl when ***** about to go down? Like nah babe hold on lemme google this
snipesrock 9
oh, we'll there's **** to. but I'm sure many people have googled "where is the clit." It wouldn't surprise me anyway.
siggy_mcsigx 22
51 **** is rarely instructive on female pleasure
littlekellilee 45
My boyfriend gets a bit confused. He's slightly too high up. I grab his arm and lightly pull it down to the right spot but he starts pulling back and it ends up being a wrestling match. He's too nervous to look though.
mjansing 4
**** is not so much a teacher as it is an inspiration for new experiences in the bed. there are a lot of books that go into ways to please a woman or a man.
Destinee_1 13
Well did it work?
Eyalsh 32
"until he *found* my ********" obviously..
itsalise 22
Practice makes perfect
codytallica 38
Communication is key but FHL for not knowing, read a book or something dude.
dakotaabriannee 14
This makes me think y'all are too young to even be intimate witch each other.
amanda182 19
And apparently you're too young to spell.
kaablam 17
No, no.. I think she is trying to cast a spell!
JayGatsby 25
Or he just never learned. My high school never taught sex ed and barely any of my friends ever really talked about it, so if OP's boyfriend is in a similar situation, then it's understandable that he doesn't know.
wideeyes 10
i think sex education for safe sex to prevent STDs and pregnancy is important, but I dont think the schools should be teaching "aw yeah! rub 'er right here! it'll make her go crazy!" that being said, a simple "female have a sensative organ called the clitorus, which is an important part of the female ****** (or something like that)
pinkster2014 25
#56 - Yeah, but some schools don't even say that. My health teacher, on the other hand, handed out a descriptive drawing that labeled where each part was lol. Gross, but informative.
MrConcise 35
#58 - Reminds me of that Orange is the New Black scene. Very gross. Very informative.
dakotaabriannee 14
So much hate on here all the time, dang. People make grammatical errors all the time. And there's no need to always argue the point. It was just my own personal thought when I read this FML.
jaythompson2422 9
You could have the ron white "sex talk" on how the ******** is as sensitive as an eyeball.