Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Why? He's being a creepy blackmailer. The way she did it might have not been the most appropriate way to handle the situation, but it's perfectly within her rights to have a one night stand.

she has the right to have one night stand, but she then has to deal with the risk of situations where it doesnt go well, like this.

He doesn't have the right to blackmail her into seeing him again. I'm pretty sure he had a clue that it was a hookup. I can't remember the last time I explicitly had to tell a guy that were having a one night stand. It's pretty much obvious. We're making out at a bar. I go back to your place. I wasn't aware that was indicative of a future marriage.

He had her phone number, either they knew each other before the hook up or she gave it to him that night, usually when you give someone the means to contact you again, they take that as a hint that you'd like them to contact you again..... God forbid a man actually texts back and would like to see a girl again

Maybe he's a fwb and wants more? either way she needs to clarify where they're at and he needs to not entrap her / force her into a date.

Tbh it's pretty pathetic that you would brig off anything like that as a "blackmail" for more sex. Not everyone is the same 7 billion fucking people and lots men or women that would get emotionally attached after sex and wanting to get to know the person better date, friends, etc. p.s. Not everything is rape ?

Why is JustinJK being thumbed down? He makes a good point. She is in her rights to have a one-night stand, walking out may not have been the best thing without explaining (unless she did explain) and he should not say she won't get her wallet back unless he takes her to dinner. That IS blackmail. And no one said anything about rape.

I agree, 182. Using her wallet like that is not cool

I didn't say rape. Are you you illiterate? He's forcing her into going on a date to get her wallet back. He's strong arming her into doing something that she doesn't want to do though. He has no right to force her to go on a date just so she can get her wallet back. That's creepy. The guy sounds like a sore loser who got his ego hurt. Is everyone on this site crazy to really think what he's doing is ok? I would call the cops.

#192 Yeah i agree, i find the comments on this thread disturbing in the amount of blaming her - I mean it never said she led him on and even if she had, keeping someone's wallet is not cool. It DOES sound like the start of a romcom though.

common people, i doubt the guy is SERIOUSLY going to keep her wallet if she doesnt go to dinner, it was more his way of telling her he didnt like the way she left, or just joking about it and trying to cutely ask her out. he DID NOT steal it!!! she left it there... be realistic please.

and im not blaming her for having a one night stand, but that she rushed out so fast that she forgot her wallet... how rude?

I usually want my one night stands to leave immediately after we're finished. Sometimes I'll cuddle we're fwbs. I mean like who wants to stick around after a hookup

233 - yeah, but im assuming in your case that was understood by BOTH people that its no strings attached, and not looking for a relationship. the op must sort of already known the guy, or gave him her number during the night in a "text me again" gesture, because he had her number. the way op says she left the place it sounds like he didnt know she wasnt going to leave, like she led him on and felt guilty so she snuck/dashed out when he wasnt looking. i mean, before i leave a place i double check i have my wallet, keys and phone. she must have been in a real big rush.. or just regretted it bad, or theyre careless. but, who really knows for sure but op, i cant say for sure.

Here is an idea: they had a one night stand that was quite obvious as most are especially when one person leaves before the other wakes up. He then used the info from her ID to get her phone number Now he is demanding that she goes farther than she wanted to in order for her to have peace of mind about her identity not being stolen. Since to Op clearly said he wanted to force her it must mean she declined and he made the threat. Regardless of whether the Op was right in having a one night stand, it is not the same for this guy to say "date me for your wallet" and a wife/husband asking for a kiss before doing a task. One is based in familiarity and comfortable joking the other is based on one guy wanting more from a woman he barely knows and clearly is done with him.

Walk of shame #2 coming right up!!

He'll probably end up paying for it with your money op lol

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

#5 Unless she lied and said she wanted more than sex, she hasn't done anything wrong.

Why does she deserve it? What if she didn't realize that she didn't like him until after the fact? Why can't people fuck who they want to fuck without internet people spitting out all sorts of judgment?

She rushed out of his house after sex so maybe he feels used? Maybe that hurt his feelings? But she is saying FHL cause a guy she had sex with wants a date so forgive me if I think she lead him on.

Whether or not you are hurt forcing someone to date you is fucked up and if you try to do that you need to see a therapist.

Look here, #41: He wants to take her to DINNER. He's not FORCING her to DATE him... And you're rather dense if you think being "forced" to eat dinner is worse than being USED for sex, which OP clearly did. Maybe you're the one who needs a therapist. Just saying.

27, if he was looking for something more than a one-night stand, maybe he shouldn't have fucked a girl he just met.

71, maybe it wasn't a true one night stand as in they were complete strangers. OP says she isn't interested in him so that makes me think that they know each other somewhat. I'm not completely on the guys side in this cause in my opinion I don't like one night stands. I'm looking at this as if I was the guy cause I'd be hurt if she just ran out like that, one night stand or not.

How is it CLEAR she used him for sex? Is it a new thing that I'm unaware of that "hooking up" now means "I told him I want a relationship but just want sex" rather than "just sex"? And no one should be forced into any romantic situation, whether it be "just a dinner" or not. She didn't force him to have sex, and I'm going off the assumption both parties knew it was a one night thing.

If he knew in advance that it was a one-night stand, why did she feel the need to rush out on him? It sure seems that he thought things were actually going somewhere and then she cut and run.

I thought it was common to do that. Why stay if you just wanted sex? I don't know hookup courtesy but I'm giving the op the benefit of the doubt

Op needs to change her communication style if she wants to prevent this shit from happening in the future.

Too many complaints on who's judging who. People have different views on sex, the point is if he wasn't aware that this was a one night fling then she's wrong for doing that. Regardless though I don't believe he's really going to FORCE her on a date in the end, probably just thought it was going somewhere.

oh, shut up, you pretentious dick

The fact that he is forcing her to do anything is the problem. Why are you thumbing people down for saying she is entitled to sleep with whom she likes without being made to make it more than that?

#97 that is victim-blaming type thing though. If she really did leave without saying goodbye or something then that is messed up. But it does not excuse the fact that he is trying to make more of it and making her go on a date - and to people saying you don't think he would force her to eat dinner with him... yes it is a date and we don't know him, OP may not know him, he might well not give her her wallet back unless she goes and that is not ok - that is not ok behaviour and it is not her fault that he i now making her do this. She could have handled the situation better perhaps but saying she deserves it is shaming.

184- you are quite possibly the dumbest person I've encountered today. The guy obviously isn't going to forcibly take her out to dinner against her will, and he's not going to keep her wallet if she doesn't go. The guy sounds as if he was joking and/or seeing if she was interested in a longer type relationship. And just because she knew it was a one night stand doesn't mean he did.

Firstly it is not her fault he misunderstood where the encounter was going. Secondly the both agreed to the sex, no rape was involved. Thirdly him refusing to return her property unless she continues a relationsbip she doesn't want in is very much the definition of forcing her to do something. Finally not every guy/woman you sleep with has to be someone you are interested in eventually marrying.

#228 he may have misinterepreted where it was going but if it was a one-night stand, you would hope it would be obvious. And he may have been joking but the fact is we don't know the guy, he could have been serious about not giving OP her wallet back, she seems to think he is. And even if he is joking, he is joking about her wallet which contains id, possibly addresses, money, bank card - it is a really big thing for a stranger to be holding especially a stranger who decided he wants to see you again and is willing to hold these things hostage to make that happen. It is unfair and I don't think I am dumb. I think he is out of line and we don't know what people are capable of.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Really? So, what?
She can literally not want to go with the dude and be pissed about the situation.

That's just uncomfortable and fucked up for everyone.

Huh, I'm sure she wasn't uncomfortable while riding his dick. She'll live through dinner. :)

#28 she was able to have sex with him and yet she doesn't like the idea of getting out for a dinner with him. Sounds logical.

Seriously?? Yes she can want to have sex with him and not want to go to dinner with him! He has no right to try to coerce her to do something she doesn't want to, even if she did possibly hurt his feelings. It's fucked up and it's scary that so many people think it's okay

Then flip the situation, I'm sure all of you righteous defenders of the op would think it were "cute" if she were doing it. And you'd call the guy a Douche for wanting only a one night stand. As if that behavior was scandalous of him and not her.

I'm sorry but you can't assume that. I would say the same thing if the roles were reversed. Men and women are both allowed to have one night stands and it's wrong to try to coerce or guilt anyone into doing something they don't want to.

Hey at least he's being nice about it.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Because sex is great. And sex without all the strings attached and thr other bs is better.

Sounds like you haven't found anyone special enough yet, for you to say something lke that.

I think that's a pretty ignorant thing to say. Lots of people just want to have sex with someone and not take it to a romantic place. There's nothing wrong with that. There are even some relationships based on letting your partner have sex with other people and just being romantic with your partner. Don't judge people for how they want to have sex and relationships.

151. I'm a fucking 22 year old college student. The last thing I'm doing is looking for "someone special". Eat. Consume alcohol. Humping. School. Partying. Having fun. Internships. that's my life. Don't have time for dating.

you are exactly what's wrong with our generation!
I'm not saying you have to find you soul mate and settle down!
Instead of growing as a person, you become a marionette of the system, while intoxicating yourself to relax and "have fun"...

I have zero responsibilities besides schook. My dad pays for everything. I'll worry about the adult stuff later on. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with our generation anymore than the last thousand or so.

youre TWENTY TWO and you have no bills to pay? how lazy, this is whats wrong with this generation. ive been living on my own since 18 (im 21) and have had a job since i was 16. it actually hurts my head that you havnt had any responsabilities except school and not ready to be an adult yet, and youre still OLDER than me. should be the other way around. wow...

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

And how to not be a misogynistic asshole, too. Apparently one night stands are only bad if women have them.

#247: It could just be #9's awful spelling, but I missed the part where he condoned one-night stands for men.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

That's not how you get an STI.

Duh, #46 Everyone knows you have to shop around for the best price, STI's are not cheap! I mean, wait. You are talking about subies, right?

I don't know about anyone else but I get my STI's from eBay, at a fairly cheap price as well.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

A lot of assumptions there though.

I love how the guy gets the benefit of the doubt in this situation, but not OP -.-

i totally agree!

There is literally nothing in the OP indicating this. The only thing you can deduce from the post is that she had sex with him and he is coercing her into meeting again to get her wallet back.

Why do girls go home with people they don't know? That's really dangerous

Exactly! These 2 just-turned-18-year-olds came home with my 23 year old flatmate after a night out. Even though they were the most bitchist pair of girls I've ever come across, I was quite concerned for them because of their age (he only found out their ages when we all got back to our apartment) and the fact they came home with some total random stranger they met at a nightclub. So, instead of getting the threesome my flatmate intended on getting - They asked and looked around for drugs. When that failed - They wreaked our bathroom and left. Lessons were learned for both parties: #1: my flatmate is greedy #2: don't be a drug seeking hoe

Why do guys invite girls they don't know home with them? It's really dangerous.
The amount of double standards in these comments are amazing. You would've thought a girl wanting sex with anyone other than her One True Love was completely unheard of.

Guys do the same thing, and often do it more than girls.

#204 there is a double standard! the problem is, as a girl you are more likely to be raped. as a guy it's more common to be robed...

You mean like guys do literally all the time...?