By Anonymous - 06/05/2015 17:44 - United States - Riverside
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He doesn't have the right to blackmail her into seeing him again. I'm pretty sure he had a clue that it was a hookup. I can't remember the last time I explicitly had to tell a guy that were having a one night stand. It's pretty much obvious. We're making out at a bar. I go back to your place. I wasn't aware that was indicative of a future marriage.
He had her phone number, either they knew each other before the hook up or she gave it to him that night, usually when you give someone the means to contact you again, they take that as a hint that you'd like them to contact you again..... God forbid a man actually texts back and would like to see a girl again
Tbh it's pretty pathetic that you would brig off anything like that as a "blackmail" for more sex. Not everyone is the same 7 billion fucking people and lots men or women that would get emotionally attached after sex and wanting to get to know the person better date, friends, etc. p.s. Not everything is rape ?
Why is JustinJK being thumbed down? He makes a good point. She is in her rights to have a one-night stand, walking out may not have been the best thing without explaining (unless she did explain) and he should not say she won't get her wallet back unless he takes her to dinner. That IS blackmail. And no one said anything about rape.
I didn't say rape. Are you you illiterate? He's forcing her into going on a date to get her wallet back. He's strong arming her into doing something that she doesn't want to do though. He has no right to force her to go on a date just so she can get her wallet back. That's creepy. The guy sounds like a sore loser who got his ego hurt. Is everyone on this site crazy to really think what he's doing is ok? I would call the cops.
common people, i doubt the guy is SERIOUSLY going to keep her wallet if she doesnt go to dinner, it was more his way of telling her he didnt like the way she left, or just joking about it and trying to cutely ask her out. he DID NOT steal it!!! she left it there... be realistic please. and im not blaming her for having a one night stand, but that she rushed out so fast that she forgot her wallet... how rude?
233 - yeah, but im assuming in your case that was understood by BOTH people that its no strings attached, and not looking for a relationship. the op must sort of already known the guy, or gave him her number during the night in a "text me again" gesture, because he had her number. the way op says she left the place it sounds like he didnt know she wasnt going to leave, like she led him on and felt guilty so she snuck/dashed out when he wasnt looking. i mean, before i leave a place i double check i have my wallet, keys and phone. she must have been in a real big rush.. or just regretted it bad, or theyre careless. but, who really knows for sure but op, i cant say for sure.
Here is an idea: they had a one night stand that was quite obvious as most are especially when one person leaves before the other wakes up. He then used the info from her ID to get her phone number Now he is demanding that she goes farther than she wanted to in order for her to have peace of mind about her identity not being stolen. Since to Op clearly said he wanted to force her it must mean she declined and he made the threat. Regardless of whether the Op was right in having a one night stand, it is not the same for this guy to say "date me for your wallet" and a wife/husband asking for a kiss before doing a task. One is based in familiarity and comfortable joking the other is based on one guy wanting more from a woman he barely knows and clearly is done with him.
Look here, #41: He wants to take her to DINNER. He's not FORCING her to DATE him... And you're rather dense if you think being "forced" to eat dinner is worse than being USED for sex, which OP clearly did. Maybe you're the one who needs a therapist. Just saying.
71, maybe it wasn't a true one night stand as in they were complete strangers. OP says she isn't interested in him so that makes me think that they know each other somewhat. I'm not completely on the guys side in this cause in my opinion I don't like one night stands. I'm looking at this as if I was the guy cause I'd be hurt if she just ran out like that, one night stand or not.
How is it CLEAR she used him for sex? Is it a new thing that I'm unaware of that "hooking up" now means "I told him I want a relationship but just want sex" rather than "just sex"? And no one should be forced into any romantic situation, whether it be "just a dinner" or not. She didn't force him to have sex, and I'm going off the assumption both parties knew it was a one night thing.
Too many complaints on who's judging who. People have different views on sex, the point is if he wasn't aware that this was a one night fling then she's wrong for doing that. Regardless though I don't believe he's really going to FORCE her on a date in the end, probably just thought it was going somewhere.
#97 that is victim-blaming type thing though. If she really did leave without saying goodbye or something then that is messed up. But it does not excuse the fact that he is trying to make more of it and making her go on a date - and to people saying you don't think he would force her to eat dinner with him... yes it is a date and we don't know him, OP may not know him, he might well not give her her wallet back unless she goes and that is not ok - that is not ok behaviour and it is not her fault that he i now making her do this. She could have handled the situation better perhaps but saying she deserves it is shaming.
184- you are quite possibly the dumbest person I've encountered today. The guy obviously isn't going to forcibly take her out to dinner against her will, and he's not going to keep her wallet if she doesn't go. The guy sounds as if he was joking and/or seeing if she was interested in a longer type relationship. And just because she knew it was a one night stand doesn't mean he did.
Firstly it is not her fault he misunderstood where the encounter was going. Secondly the both agreed to the sex, no rape was involved. Thirdly him refusing to return her property unless she continues a relationsbip she doesn't want in is very much the definition of forcing her to do something. Finally not every guy/woman you sleep with has to be someone you are interested in eventually marrying.
#228 he may have misinterepreted where it was going but if it was a one-night stand, you would hope it would be obvious. And he may have been joking but the fact is we don't know the guy, he could have been serious about not giving OP her wallet back, she seems to think he is. And even if he is joking, he is joking about her wallet which contains id, possibly addresses, money, bank card - it is a really big thing for a stranger to be holding especially a stranger who decided he wants to see you again and is willing to hold these things hostage to make that happen. It is unfair and I don't think I am dumb. I think he is out of line and we don't know what people are capable of.
Seriously?? Yes she can want to have sex with him and not want to go to dinner with him! He has no right to try to coerce her to do something she doesn't want to, even if she did possibly hurt his feelings. It's fucked up and it's scary that so many people think it's okay
I think that's a pretty ignorant thing to say. Lots of people just want to have sex with someone and not take it to a romantic place. There's nothing wrong with that. There are even some relationships based on letting your partner have sex with other people and just being romantic with your partner. Don't judge people for how they want to have sex and relationships.
youre TWENTY TWO and you have no bills to pay? how lazy, this is whats wrong with this generation. ive been living on my own since 18 (im 21) and have had a job since i was 16. it actually hurts my head that you havnt had any responsabilities except school and not ready to be an adult yet, and youre still OLDER than me. should be the other way around. wow...
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That's what you get for leading him on. He probably indicated that he was interested in more than just sex, you probably should have shut it down instead of sleeping with him.
Why do girls go home with people they don't know? That's really dangerous
Exactly! These 2 just-turned-18-year-olds came home with my 23 year old flatmate after a night out. Even though they were the most bitchist pair of girls I've ever come across, I was quite concerned for them because of their age (he only found out their ages when we all got back to our apartment) and the fact they came home with some total random stranger they met at a nightclub. So, instead of getting the threesome my flatmate intended on getting - They asked and looked around for drugs. When that failed - They wreaked our bathroom and left. Lessons were learned for both parties: #1: my flatmate is greedy #2: don't be a drug seeking hoe