Happy Birthday

By shmoooopie - 29/05/2015 03:39 - United States - Medina

Spicy
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 653
You deserved it 3 899
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Top comments

604 11

If he asks why you're not using them, tell him you already did; they were accepted by a competitor for double the value.

714 14
queenofirony 12

Give him a coupon for one sleep on the couch.

260 5

Comments

ihavenolifehaha 16

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Ms_ValS 27

Because those are way bigger treats for him and he considers this a birthday present for her.

226 3
jazzy_123 20

because he's thinking mostly of himself. "a massage for a ********" heck no! and plus, it's not like she owes him a ********. Just in case you didn't know, we ARE allowed to refuse to give any and they better respect it.

202 9
ihavenolifehaha 16

Yeah, I kinda regret writing that comment. It's late and I just now realize it was pretty dumb. Lol...

104 14
aureshion 5

@damnitstrue I agree. my girlfriend should never feel forced to give me anything of sexual persuasion. if she feels like giving me a ******* for whatever reason she can do so. but I would never demand something like that as a favor. especially if its her birthday

81 3
itsallokaynow 6

I actually really like that you came forward and apologized. Props to you

42 4
mikey7 13

What if the guy is a professional

0 6
Noela Abney 5

because the coupons are all about him DUH. what a shitty birthday gift

0 0
queenofirony 12

Give him a coupon for one sleep on the couch.

260 5
shay_serendipity 29

And even better, it'll be a buy one get another free!

20 1
giantsfan2010 23

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clumsylobster 17

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21 65
fakedsincerity 32

Ah yes. Comparing people to Hitler. Inappropriate and nonsensical.

86 7
ChristianH39 30

Don't forget unoriginal.

51 5
Zebediabolical 39

Say what you want about Hitler. At least he killed Hitler. AND the dude who killed Hitler.

54 2
maemismile 22

Why yes, you can blame the guy for trying. Asshole...

28 2
604 11

If he asks why you're not using them, tell him you already did; they were accepted by a competitor for double the value.

714 14
hunterluv1 20

how inconsiderate. you would think it being your birthday he would be a little less selfish.

81 2
Purexinsanity 46

#12 that's probably because they benefit him just as much if not more than they benefit her.

19 2
adrian_robber2 7

Tell him they have expired already

2 0
igg125 30

Looks like he gave himself your present

38 3