All the FMLs

By Anonymous - 10/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend looked so unhappy in a photo we took that I downloaded an editing app, and edited the photo to make it look like he was smiling before posting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 935

By Fluffyman - 10/08/2019 04:00

Today, I realized that I haven’t lost weight. All my clothes have just stretched to fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 319

By Anonymous - 10/08/2019 02:00 - Germany - Wuppertal

Today, my coworker keeps loudly saying things like, "Oh, now THIS!" If I don't ask, "What?" she pouts. If I do ask, she tells me, at length and with very bad grammar, how every one of our colleagues and partners is either stupid, rude or out to get her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 184

Is it slander or libel?

By Anonymous - 10/08/2019 00:01

Today, I posted a review, on a strictly anonymous site, about a doctor I went to see for my anxiety but who actually made me worse. A while later, the same doctor called my home phone, addressed me by my full name and threatened to sue me for slander if I didn't take down the review. All of which was 100% true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 612

You deserved it 195

By maza - 09/08/2019 22:00

Today, I made a nice meal for myself and sat down to eat. Suddenly, my dad burst into my room saying, “We have to go.” This isn’t the first time it’s happened, nor was it an emergency. My family just doesn’t tell me when we have plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 09/08/2019 20:00

Today, my boss came to see me because he'd heard that I was homeless. I'm not homeless, and the rumour was started by a friend of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 642

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 09/08/2019 16:00

Today, I moved back into my room, which I'd sublet for a few months. The subtenant never paid any rent and is gone, but she did leave me something: my own underwear on the floor, which she apparently liked to wear, but didn't seem to like to wash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 276

By Anonymous - 09/08/2019 14:00

Today, I was prescribed two different medications. I was also informed that they will both give me diarrhea for the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 103

By workerbee - 09/08/2019 12:00

Today, because of a miscommunication with my boss, the furniture I was renting during my summer job was taken back by the movers. I still have a week of work left and nothing to eat with, and nothing to sit or sleep on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 148

By floppy - 09/08/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, my house caught fire and almost burned down. My neighbour, who has always hated me, came up, patted me on the back, and said, "That sucks for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 759

You deserved it 125

By UTurn - 09/08/2019 04:00

Today, I lost my phone during a hike up Mount Washington. Luckily, it was reported to the office, and they called my wife. Too bad we had already been driving for at least four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 296

By geniusdrunk - 09/08/2019 02:00

Today, after a month of sobriety, I woke up in my ex-girlfriend's house with absolutely no recollection as to how I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 432

You deserved it 723

Cats give great advice like "Shit in a box!"

By can't sleep - 09/08/2019 00:01 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I can't sleep. I don't know what's crazier, the fact that I have been lying in bed, staring at the ceiling for about 5 hours, or that I have been asking my cat for advice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 280

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 927

You deserved it 349

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 105

By kittyjoe - 08/08/2019 16:00 - Australia

Today, while feeling sorry for myself that I can't find a guy, a girl on the talk show I was watching said, "You're never gonna find a guy sitting at home in your jammies with the cat." I'm sitting at home in my jammies with the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 836

By kagan - 08/08/2019 14:00

Today, the only food in the house is canned beans and vegetables that I can’t stand. My dad refuses to go to the store because, "we can't afford it." Meanwhile, my stepmom just came home with a brand new Gucci purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 095

You deserved it 161

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 12:00

Today, I found out I'm starting to get varicose veins, typical in older people who don't move enough. I'm 34 and I get 9 hours of exercise a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 165

Thanks, I guess…

By Boo - 08/08/2019 08:01 - Australia

Today, I finally had a phone call after a week of nothing. It was my mother. It was by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 256

By Carlos Cervantes_1981647997 - 08/08/2019 06:00

Today, like any other day, I look just like Kim Jung-un. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 221

It was either an expensive event, or learn to manage your money.

By Bortenssen - 08/08/2019 10:05 - Australia - Perth

Today, I found out that the reason I couldn’t buy a commemorative jacket to wear at my rugby club's 50th anniversary was because the event had already happened. I paid in full for the event, and it cost me most of my savings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 1 502

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 02:01

Today, I was at work serving customers at the checkout. A girl was brushing the floor behind me. I turned around and whichever way she brushed, the brush hit me twice straight in the balls before she noticed anything. She had to serve the rest of the customers while I recovered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 167

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 00:01

Today, my landlord asked me to get rid of the flower boxes I have at the window in the stairwell. Why? Because they are disgusting. Why are they disgusting? Because his cat keeps using them as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587

You deserved it 182

By Anonymous - 07/08/2019 22:00

Today, after I'd remembered to start writing a list of my PTSD symptoms for my shrink, because I'm extremely forgetful, it finally took me three days to remember to write down forgetfulness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 242

By spit saliva spit - 07/08/2019 20:00

Today, I drooled on myself during a job interview and was immediately dismissed. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 577

By cat - 07/08/2019 18:00

Today, I thought I was seeing double. My neighbours got a new dog, which is exactly the same as the other one, except that it hates me twice as much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 145

Mom! Stop!

By Anonymous - 07/08/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832

You deserved it 126

By pissedchick - 07/08/2019 14:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. We're in the middle of nowhere and have a 4-hour drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 925

You deserved it 135

By Jill - 07/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I moved into my new flat only to notice it's right across from a frequently used railway line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 1 699

One Word: Diabeetus

By jmove - 07/08/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, I carhopped some food, enough to feed 6 people, out to this beat-up car. Inside were two huge ladies, who probably hadn't showered for a few days, sweating away from the hot weather. As I skated to the door, she said, "Hang on a moment," as she gave herself an insulin shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 616

You deserved it 301

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have to ask his dad if it was OK. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "Come on, Dad" and "But why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 791

You deserved it 5 130

Today, I received a call from my husband of 10 years from prison. He sobbed on the phone as he explained to me that his anger got the best of him, and couldn’t control himself. He beat the pulp out of a classmate of his for declining a date with him, and sent her to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 112

Today, my friends and I went to court. We are all college students, and for next semester, we will be on probation and have to do 8 hours of community service, as well as a $25 fine each. All for swinging on swings in the park after dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 320

You deserved it 4 888

Today, I made an excuse and didn't turn up at work. Little did I know my boss did the same. We both bumped into each other at the shopping centre across town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 877

You deserved it 25 867

Today, I discovered that the fire alarm in my building will go insane when I'm trying to cook chicken, but won't make a sound when my towels start actually burning on the radiator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 074

You deserved it 1 091

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 367

You deserved it 4 209