By Alyce - 5/12/2020 23:02 - United States - Lewistown

Best of both worlds

Today, I was finally diagnosed with insomnia. The trouble is, because of my physical disability, I also have diagnosed chronic fatigue. Barely can stay awake during the day, can't sleep at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

911

You deserved it

Favorite

Public transport FTW

Get the message, dude

How could you forget?

By Tiredoftrying - Australia

Today, I received my fourth rejection email from McDonald's after applying for one position with them a few weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2000

You deserved it

299

Favorite

By Tom

Long day

Today, I got the bus to work instead of walking so I could be there faster. However, I accidentally got on the wrong bus which let me off a mile and a half away from my workplace. Then, after another half-hour of trying to walk there, I found that it wasn't even open that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3639

You deserved it

1436

Favorite

By deadbunnies - United States

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47858

You deserved it

9148

Favorite

By StrawberryJuicey - United States

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get sized. I put the card that says my size in my pocket, then went to the movies with my boyfriend. When the person at the counter asked me to hand them my ticket, I reached into my pocket and handed it to them. It wasn't the ticket. It was my bra size. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10806

You deserved it

32184

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Thanks, I hate it

Today, I received a $250 ticket when I parked my car, that has the disabled placard, in a handicapped spot at a Wal-Mart. The officer said she watched me get out of the car and walk to store without appearing to be disabled. I'm 59 years old, have a steel rod in my spine and a prosthetic hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65160

You deserved it

3325

Favorite

By Walker Alldredge - 15/9/2020 00:02 - United States - Ogden

Out of it

Today, I was recently diagnosed with mononucleosis. This means that I'm really tired. I had been planning a trip with my sister and my cousin, but I didn’t wake up this morning at 7 because of the Mono, and they didn’t bother to wake me up. They went without me, to all my favorite places, leaving me at home with nothing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2123

You deserved it

538

Favorite

By anon

Roll with it

Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1428

You deserved it

275

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store are ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10335

You deserved it

31309

Favorite

By idontevenlikehamsters - United States - Manassas

Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35889

You deserved it

2452

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Audubon

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35853

You deserved it

3963

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Blue Earth

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48327

You deserved it

9036

Favorite

By ohmigodimchokin - United States

Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36021

You deserved it

4965

Favorite

By Cococautly - Canada

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70660

You deserved it

13861

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49768

You deserved it

4130

Favorite

By Anonymous - China - Shanghai

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40170

You deserved it

8358

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18225

You deserved it

30082

Favorite

By Anonymous - France - M?rignac

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50269

You deserved it

5573

Favorite

By Yay..... - Canada

Today, my friends thought it would be a good idea to make fun of a homeless man. I didn't fancy making fun of the less fortunate, so I stayed a bit back. Still, the homeless man didn't think it would matter to throw a rock at me after my buddies ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28571

You deserved it

14468

Favorite

By 5minsolder - United States

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

I agree, your life sucks

41282

You deserved it

3608

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10574

You deserved it

40272

Favorite

By anonymous - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I learned that I cannot cook or clean in my kitchen because it's too noisy for my neighbour. Every time I do, she bangs on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22155

You deserved it

1506

Favorite

By KingUrge - United States - Victorville

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46314

You deserved it

9675

Favorite

By Missyangel - United States

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30300

You deserved it

11428

Favorite

By ClumsyBarista - United States - Springfield

Today, while serving a line of ten customers by myself at the coffee shop I work at, I knocked over a cup of steaming hot milk and it went all over the coffee bar, espresso machine, floor, and myself. I then had to act like everything was fine and make a line of drinks with milk everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7898

You deserved it

1034

Favorite

Very good remedy

Today, after suffering with anxiety and insomnia for a nearly a year and exhausting every natural remedy, I could think of, I finally decided to go to a Dr. for help. Instead of writing me a prescription, he told me to drink more teas and think happy thoughts. I had to pay out of pocket for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1931

You deserved it

207

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1635

You deserved it

269

Favorite

By MyS3lf - United States

Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32031

You deserved it

3305

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Blacksburg

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37923

You deserved it

3009

Favorite

By Macy - Italy

Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35868

You deserved it

3369

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my boss yelled at me for leaving on time. After months of management hounding us about our overtime, I get in trouble for doing what I was supposed to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8825

You deserved it

515

Favorite

By singlemam - United States - Akron

Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

19075

You deserved it

2053

Favorite

By DamnDogs - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23413

You deserved it

4041

Favorite

Today, while working at a grocery store, I spent about 30 minutes pushing carts inside in a blizzard. Not even 10 minutes after I had finished, I looked out the window and saw that not only had the snow completely stopped, but the sun was shining. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1859

You deserved it

156

Favorite

By ouchbrow - United Kingdom

Today, I went to get my hair done. The hairdresser managed to catch my eyebrow piercing in his comb and almost rip it out. I now look like I have a gunshot wound on the upper right hand side of my face. I'm getting married in a matter of hours, and I still had to pay £100 for the hair cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46763

You deserved it

14706

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37928

You deserved it

2586

Favorite

By adderallgirl - United States

Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68833

You deserved it

5310

Favorite

By Anonymous

What is the real feeling?

Today, my friends and I were acting out porn scenes without sex. Then, I realized that we all watch too much porn, and we are still all virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks

827

You deserved it

2306

Favorite

By vreenya - Chile - Santiago

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53524

You deserved it

4022

Favorite

By trojan72

Today, marks a whole month that my boss has asked me to come in early to my part-time job, which makes me pretty happy to get the extra hours. I casually made a joke that she might as well make me full-time now. That made her change her mind, now I'm back down to 23 hours a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4056

You deserved it

921

Favorite

By hungry - United States - Waverly

Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14925

You deserved it

2182

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By jobekka | 16

#7956320 - Sunday 6 December 2020 13:31

get a night shift at work :)

By bobsanction | 16

#7956263 - Sunday 6 December 2020 9:13

Try sleeping during the day? Helped me for a couple months.

COMMENTS

By bobsanction | 16

#7956263 - Sunday 6 December 2020 9:13

Try sleeping during the day? Helped me for a couple months.

By jobekka | 16

#7956320 - Sunday 6 December 2020 13:31

get a night shift at work :)

By Charlie Given | 23

#7956389 - Sunday 6 December 2020 19:54

some people's internal clocks are set backwards they get tired during the day and want to be up at night instead of trying to fight it sleep during the day and be a night owl 🦉

By Tanisha Skye Regeling | 15

#7956420 - Sunday 6 December 2020 22:40

I'm the same, you poor things. it's the worst. hope you get some sleep soon

By Shaunna Burtle | 2

#7956605 - Monday 7 December 2020 20:25

I have a diagnosis of hypersomnia. excessive daytime sleepiness. its awful. for a long time, because of the constant napping, I couldn't sleep at night. I was taking a very delicate balance of stimulants in the morning and sleep aids. finally got off the sleep aids but still need the stimulants or I end up back in that awful cycle