Transportation: Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine...

By niabby - United States

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45351

You deserved it

6833

Favorite

Transportation

Out of it

Mr Sensitivity

Public transport FTW

By Jrlloyd013 - United States

Today, I had a surprise test for Economics. While taking the test, I put my head down so I could think. A while later, I awoke to the whole class turning in their test. I had to turn in my test incomplete. No questions answered, just my name, the date, and a pool of drool. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9793

You deserved it

41758

Favorite

By drivingmecrazy - United States - Sacramento

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29270

You deserved it

7238

Favorite

By Adalia - United Kingdom

Today, I wore a beautiful new dress that I got for £5 only in a sale. I've been turning heads in it all day. When I got home, my mum pulled the massive red £5 tag off of the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14742

You deserved it

39324

Favorite

By Jodie - Australia

Today, I had to change my mobile number because I was getting abused by a guy, so I sent my new number to all of the people on my contact list. Including him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11877

You deserved it

50128

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my wife admitted that she purposefully starts fights with me purely because she enjoys arguing and seeing me flustered. Don't marry a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4027

You deserved it

549

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - West Chester

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31323

You deserved it

4306

Favorite

By flyakite - United States

Today, my boss decided our 4 year relationship was unethical, so she broke up with me, then terminated my employment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46017

You deserved it

6576

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, for our last kid-free dinner before the birth of our 4th child, we chose a Japanese hibachi restaurant. They sat us with a family with a toddler, who started screaming at the first flame trick, causing the chef to cease to do anything entertaining. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34667

You deserved it

4545

Favorite

By anon - Israel

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35879

You deserved it

13226

Favorite

By storyofmylife - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66467

You deserved it

10738

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, we were at church when I pulled my toddler’s hand out of his pants and he screamed "I WAS MAKING MY PENIS BIG!" I need a new church. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3424

You deserved it

410

Favorite

By victimboi - United Kingdom

Today, I got a taxi home from work. Only having notes in my wallet, I told the taxi driver that I'd run inside my house and come back out with the change for the journey. He agreed, but only if I left my bag as collateral. It seemed fair. An hour later, I realized my wallet was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17301

You deserved it

48219

Favorite

By trailertrashyanditsucks - United States - Porter

Drunk mom

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47873

You deserved it

3790

Favorite

By I'm out - United States - Huntsville

Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16415

You deserved it

1314

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to spend all of my money on textbooks even though my refrigerator is empty. Starving and frustrated, I called home to ask for money for groceries. My mom told me I could afford to skip a few meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36452

You deserved it

5897

Favorite

By Spoopy Flame III - 18/11/2020 17:02

Academia ain't for everyone

Today, after dropping a class for the first time ever in college in order to focus on raising my grades, I failed the test that I dropped another course to study for. By not finishing on time. After 3 days of studying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

717

You deserved it

275

Favorite

By anon - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30102

You deserved it

2840

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30814

You deserved it

5843

Favorite

By Unreciprocated - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I said "I love you" to my girlfriend for the first time. She responded with, "I'm just gonna pretend I never heard that." FML

I agree, your life sucks

25205

You deserved it

2452

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Planned Parenthood

Today, I got the biggest shock in my life, I'm a mistake, and the only reason why I wasn't put up for adoption is because of the tax refunds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1670

You deserved it

116

Favorite

By Anonymous

Alexa, play "Cars" by Gary Numan

Today, I ran a stop sign that was completely obscured by foliage, in a city I was unfamiliar with. A city bus then T-boned me. My car is now totalled, and I’m afraid this will now go to court. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1618

You deserved it

382

Favorite

By lovefool - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me by text. It's also the day that the birthday present I ordered for him was finally processed and shipped, meaning I can't cancel and get my money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29586

You deserved it

2822

Favorite

By anonymous22kittylicklick - United States

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

33367

You deserved it

2831

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a text message from my ex from about a year ago, asking if my 4-day-old son was his. I don't know what's sadder - the fact that he thinks a gestation period can last 11 months, or that he's more willing to step up to the plate than the baby's actual father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34756

You deserved it

9411

Favorite

By failure - Australia

Today, I was sitting at the park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I would like to play the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said no thanks, to which the kid responded 'but there is nobody else ugly enough.' FML

I agree, your life sucks

52250

You deserved it

4351

Favorite

By Discipl - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33003

You deserved it

5915

Favorite

By Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40206

You deserved it

4296

Favorite

By Kybo5 - United States - Elk Grove

Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7871

You deserved it

56022

Favorite

By soontobewidow - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53057

You deserved it

3953

Favorite

By jcheer113 - United States

Today, while I was driving, I saw my driving instructor from high school walking on the sidewalk. As I waved to him, I rear-ended the car in front of me. Guess I really showed him how much I learned from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8902

You deserved it

31640

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27159

You deserved it

4238

Favorite

By Meghan Elise

Today, my boyfriend and I dyed our hair. His hair came out good. My hair, on the other hand, came out splotchy, and instead of dark blue, it came out green. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1240

You deserved it

551

Favorite

By nitwit - Greece

Today, I spent hours consoling my girlfriend for getting dumped by the guy she was cheating on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31263

You deserved it

79177

Favorite

By Emily - Australia

Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39044

You deserved it

3124

Favorite

By crimsoncon

Today, my dog nearly died when my mom fed him chocolate. After finding out dogs are not supposed to eat chocolate, she promptly grounded me for not telling her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36403

You deserved it

2792

Favorite

By leaannec30 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I thought my car was overheating. I then thought it was wise to put my hand close to my muffler to feel the heat. Needless to say, I stuck my entire hand on my muffler then had to drive around with the only cold thing in my car. A cold beer from my cooler. Yes, I got pulled over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6731

You deserved it

11752

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I was running late for my morning gym class. I grabbed a near-empty drink bottle on my way out, intending to fill it up at the gym. Mid-workout, I reached for my bottle and took a big mouthful as I headed over to fill it up. To my great surprise, it was not water but straight vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4489

You deserved it

1350

Favorite

By GeoKid - Canada

Today, after six months of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous method, I found out the professor who conceived it has transferred to my favorite college to head the department I'm applying to study in. They require I submit the paper with my application. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37024

You deserved it

4921

Favorite

By CashChamp20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got a necklace from one of her guy friends. She loves it. It's a heart shaped necklace. She doesn't see a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45014

You deserved it

6878

Favorite

By need2eat - United States

Today, I saw my parents for the first time in 11 weeks. They commented on how much weight I lost. I told how due to stress, I hadn't been able to eat anything for the past two weeks and I was basically unintentionally starving myself. They told me to keep it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54738

You deserved it

5568

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By That_Guy | 4

#4753 - Saturday 21 February 2009 6:25

that doesn't really make you life fucked, that just kinda sucks...

By blah_blah_shity | 0

#4736 - Saturday 21 February 2009 5:29

LOL you're a winner for surrrre

COMMENTS

By blah_blah_shity | 0

#4736 - Saturday 21 February 2009 5:29

LOL you're a winner for surrrre

By That_Guy | 4

#4753 - Saturday 21 February 2009 6:25

that doesn't really make you life fucked, that just kinda sucks...

PoopNuggetLeader | 4

#5357707 - Thursday 7 February 2013 4:45

But you can vote, "I agree your life sucks."

By BitterTheory | 0

#4772 - Saturday 21 February 2009 7:25

I'd imagine the ride home totally sucked.

By Seegtease | 0

#4829 - Saturday 21 February 2009 10:42

Haha, sissy. If "boo" makes you piss yourself, I can't imagine what a real scare would do.

RedCarpetGrave | 0

#314790 - Wednesday 17 June 2009 17:43

She was asleep and her friend woke her up. shut up.

fucMyLifeSoHard | 18

#5713810 - Sunday 13 October 2013 1:24

#5 If you were sleeping and your friend who you had no intentions of seeing that day suddenly showed up and shouted BOO at the top of their lungs, you would probably piss your pants too.

By SarahHach | 0

#4883 - Saturday 21 February 2009 16:27

Reminds me of the time my friend fell asleep at my house. My other friend snuck to him and screamed with shaking him "WAKE UP DAN, IT'S CHRISTMAS!" It wasn't even CLOSE to Christmas...
Hahaha, funny stuff...

By holynemesis1208 | 3

#5110 - Sunday 22 February 2009 3:58

lol at least you can admit it

By CrazedLeper | 0

#23010 - Monday 9 March 2009 7:40

Didja finish?

Chelgleek | 7

#3185170 - Saturday 27 August 2011 0:56

Hahahahahaha!

By dancergirl743 | 0

#258954 - Wednesday 3 June 2009 5:46

#9-I agree
#6-hahaha
If that happened to me I would die

By alexismile4u | 0

#301660 - Saturday 13 June 2009 21:02

one time my friend was tickling me so badly that i started to cry and good thing i didnt have to go pee lol i was a lucky one. unfortunately u werent though

By qetzacoatl122112 | 0

#378013 - Wednesday 8 July 2009 7:40

... What does stealing have anything to do with this FML...?