Transportation: Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs....

By Noname - 05/03/2009 00:29 - United States

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 446

You deserved it 4 058

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/06/2012 19:01 - United States - San Diego

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 097

You deserved it 2 143

By Anonymous - 26/03/2012 10:53 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 310

You deserved it 30 275

By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 144

You deserved it 12 195

By Anonymous - 15/11/2013 09:45 - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 419

You deserved it 4 043

By anonmys - 18/07/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 461

You deserved it 19 430

By belladonna - 26/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 219

You deserved it 79 280

By ilovecowboys - 26/02/2010 09:09 - New Zealand

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 880

You deserved it 7 047

By creepyguy - 26/12/2009 12:06 - Australia

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 301

You deserved it 9 960

By ruvru - 10/04/2009 17:13 - United States

Today, while lying next to me, my boyfriend smiled and told me, "I really like your eyes. They're pretty." He paused and then finished with, "They really help your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 703

You deserved it 4 122

You what now?

By foshizzle - 25/04/2012 06:46 - United States - Orlando

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 979

You deserved it 3 189

Jimboom 11

Thursday 5 March 2009 12:45

Probably because he either wanted to lick them or eat them

N07H666 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 14:21

that's one creative pickup line!!! I gotta remember that one

Comments

King_of_Kings 3

Thursday 5 March 2009 12:24

lmfao

Jimboom 11

Thursday 5 March 2009 12:45

Probably because he either wanted to lick them or eat them

Atmaster 3

Friday 26 March 2010 4:27

I agree I hate creepy newyork subway men

ChaCerCam 14

Tuesday 22 July 2014 9:49

Run! He wants to scoop them out with a spoon!

vdturner25 15

Sunday 26 July 2015 22:54

#2 has a point. Sounds like ****** jeepers creepers back again. Watch yourself

PiousHeretic 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 13:04

Ohhh, baby! I mean.. eyeballs! Really?

foodlord 5

Monday 26 September 2011 10:05

UHe was busy having eye sex with u

shalvius 3

Thursday 5 March 2009 13:19

that's odd

stephypoo 4

Thursday 5 March 2009 13:23

maybe he wanted em for his own personal pleasure...?

N07H666 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 14:21

that's one creative pickup line!!! I gotta remember that one

Jimboom 11

Thursday 5 March 2009 14:32

Maybe he was a bit drunk and was trying to say what nice eyes you had?

nah_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 14:34

watever it was.. dont be sad.. you are beautiful in your own way! :)

Big_Pick 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 15:39

Oh the true definition of irony!

DamUrLyfeSukz 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 15:57

uhhh i guess...what a way to boost ya self esteem

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I hit off with a guy I met on Tumblr, and we moved to Discord to chat. We're just friends, but have things in common. Then I accidentally called him while he was driving by clicking the wrong button, because I forgot how to search things up. Now he thinks I'm a creep. Time to build my walls back up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 156

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 191

The Top

Today, my mom won't let me have the extra hotel room she booked all to myself, even though it's just me, her, and my sister. Basically I can share a room with her or with my sister, but I can't be alone. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 449

Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 104

You deserved it 1 908

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 986

You deserved it 2 837

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 187

You deserved it 8 854

Today, five hours into my shift, I found out that I had been given the day off. They just forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 110

You deserved it 340

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 015

You deserved it 3 681

Same thing different taste

You what now?

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