All the FMLs

i'm a teenager. a"child" in my fathers eyes. and it's easily 28 degrees Celsius outside. and he managed to make me wear jeans and a jumper, saying it would be cold. i didn't know we were going there. He thought it would be ok for me to walked around in a giant meat freezer.

Harsh

By anonymous - 14/12/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 541

You deserved it 12 239

By Shelly - 14/12/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I accidentally called my cute boss "babe." I now have to pretend it's what I call everyone, and start calling all my coworkers "babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 978

You deserved it 34 079

By newlysingle - 14/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 845

You deserved it 3 636

By brownunderwear - 14/12/2011 03:45 - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 789

You deserved it 7 887

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 414

You deserved it 3 963

Both sides now

By microtech - 13/12/2011 17:33 - United States

Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 700

You deserved it 3 353

By testesential - 13/12/2011 17:24 - United States

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 769

You deserved it 6 146

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 14:00 - Malaysia

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 147

You deserved it 3 143

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 13:57 - Norway

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 226

You deserved it 2 361

By reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 575

You deserved it 17 516

By rara1989 - 13/12/2011 12:15 - United Kingdom

Today, I called in sick at work because I have the flu. This is my first sick day in the 2 years I've worked there. It's also the day the CEO made a surprise visit. My co-workers all got generous salary increases, and some of them promotions. I'm not included, simply because I wasn't there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 558

You deserved it 3 861

rara1989 tells us more.

rara1989 5

Tuesday 13 December 2011 22:01

oh hey, that was my FML. I made an account just so i could say this to you... I wasn't faking being ill to go xmas shopping ta. I got my shopping out the way back in Nov! (no sick day!) I've got the flu bad, worse day to get ill!. I'm going into work tomorrow though despite how horrible I feel so I can speak to my boss about it!. Sucks to be me right now!

By LogicalMolly - 13/12/2011 05:16 - United States

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 055

You deserved it 49 324