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Hey everyone, I am the OP. To answer your questions, I am a student in a ~50 person lecture. My professor was compiling a huge list of examples of bad tv on the board from students, and I threw up a few notoriously bad TV shows (like Keeping Up with the Kardashians). I vaguely remember seeing something on TV about GGW (a reference in another show). In the clip, a lot of girls partying and one of them flashed the cameras, but it was definitely blurred out. I thought it was just a risqué reality show with partying/clubbing, fighting, and a bit of blurred out nudity (like the Jersey Shore). Yes, I did get made fun of (the jerk behind me said, "I'm pretty sure that's a movie" in a snarky tone, and some people were like "…whaaaaaat?"). I kinda just looked around and was like, "isn't that a reality TV show?" A few people giggled, and the professor just blinked and moved onto the next person. Normally I don't talk about stuff I know nothing about, but participation is a significant portion of my grade, so I always try to participate any chance I get.

By fugachumi - 07/08/2011 08:08 - United States

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 851

You deserved it 3 515

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 04:03 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 849

You deserved it 1 976

By Blake Lawrence - 26/11/2012 18:59 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 847

You deserved it 2 619

Big awkward moment

By JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 846

You deserved it 42 684

By dumbfriend - 12/03/2012 19:48 - United States

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 845

You deserved it 4 082

By Anonymous - 13/02/2011 08:36 - United States

Today, I confirmed that my neighbors burn their garbage in their backyard. How? My dog just threw up a nice smelly consistency of spaghetti, plastic and cigarette butts on my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 845

You deserved it 3 822

Morning!

By whydoihavecats - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 843

You deserved it 2 728

By glocked and goaded - 03/04/2015 18:08 - United States - Sun City

Today, at my cousin's wedding, there was a bouquet toss. I jumped to catch it, only to get knocked down and crushed by a woman twice my size who'd jumped backwards. It still feels like someone shattered my ribs with a sledgehammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 843

You deserved it 2 818

By rhcpgurl - 23/07/2015 15:07 - United States - San Jose

Today, after 2 months of searching, I finally found a good, stable job. How does the universe reward me upon waking up on my very first day? With a burning yeast infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 843

You deserved it 2 668

By SSH - 18/01/2009 12:41 - United States

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 839

You deserved it 3 512

Outlaw

By me_the_maniak - 12/01/2012 10:14 - India

Today, my parents want me to become a lawyer, all because our family members keep getting into feuds and court cases. I'm a successful developer, and run my own company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 839

You deserved it 2 458

By Bamamomma01 - 13/03/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 835

You deserved it 87 602

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 07:54 - United States

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 833

You deserved it 10 215

Smooth gym bro

By Dkim620 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 831

You deserved it 4 501

By _whyy_mee - 02/07/2015 18:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 830

You deserved it 1 973

By NoMoney4Me - 24/09/2012 10:48 - United States - York

Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 829

You deserved it 3 987

By Anonymous - 17/06/2014 02:45 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 829

You deserved it 47 802

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 03:17 - Canada

Today, I drove three hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in three weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off, and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 829

You deserved it 2 380

By geez_wth - 06/05/2012 11:54 - United States - Hanford

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 829

You deserved it 2 946

kissandcontrol01 tells us more.

kissandcontrol01 20

Tuesday 8 May 2012 5:24

This is the OP. I actually am in my 20s and had passed out after taking a muscle relaxer. Never slept so well in the last year or so.. Until.. I woke up cold and wet ????