Work: Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up,...

By Anonymous - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26791

You deserved it

47623

Favorite

Work

Messed up

Thanks for being so compassionate

Some friend

By Anon - United States

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32098

You deserved it

3246

Favorite

By unemployed - El Salvador - San Salvador

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42708

You deserved it

3369

Favorite

By ... - United States

Today, I found out that, after offering to fill out my student aid application for me, my mother sent all of my personal information to a scam site instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31825

You deserved it

4406

Favorite

By trashcanned - United States

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29661

You deserved it

52066

Favorite

By kqwarrior - United States - San Francisco

Today, while at the airport with a cast on my leg, I fell backwards onto my suitcase. My family was too busy to notice my squirming as I tried to get up, so a kind woman awkwardly helped me off the ground. Later on, I found out my dad saw me but thought someone would help me "soon enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks

13665

You deserved it

927

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Savage

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35358

You deserved it

16202

Favorite

By bummer.. - United States

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36424

You deserved it

5734

Favorite

By steph2052 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41304

You deserved it

3934

Favorite

By Michael - Australia

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26846

You deserved it

15566

Favorite

By polemania - United States

Today, I had an employee come in 20 minutes late with the excuse, "There's a Pokemon gym across the street!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

13379

You deserved it

1796

Favorite

By 16seconds - United States

Today, I had to buy a wrist splint for my carpal tunnel syndrome. Not because I'm a computer programmer or some hot shot web designer but because I spend ALL of my time playing Solitaire on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7853

You deserved it

33097

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21290

You deserved it

2953

Favorite

By Anonymous - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47624

You deserved it

5739

Favorite

By valerie - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44839

You deserved it

18701

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Newark

Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18894

You deserved it

9751

Favorite

By Asha Toone - 31/1/2021 08:02

Tough times

Today, I started noticing how unnecessarily hard it is to get a basic job such as a cashier or server, even though you already have experience in that field. FML

I agree, your life sucks

697

You deserved it

Favorite

By anon - United States - Kennett

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45254

You deserved it

24667

Favorite

By siikman313 - United States

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38488

You deserved it

3932

Favorite

By kukadaman - United States

Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34497

You deserved it

2371

Favorite

By noname - United States - Middletown

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41078

You deserved it

3034

Favorite

By Late

Today, my boss at my new job yelled at me for being 15 minutes early to work. Last week he yelled at me for being late for my shift when I arrived 5 minutes early. He's considering this my final warning before I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11102

You deserved it

696

Favorite

By kerdersty - Canada

Today, I was snowboarding when a skier cut me off, resulting in me colliding with a 12 year old girl. The girl was totally fine, and I was alright except for a slight nose bleed. I apologized to the girl, then her mom hit me over the back with a ski pole as I snowboarded away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36439

You deserved it

3763

Favorite

By charlie043 - United States

Today, I met my fiancée's parents for the first time. Her dad was telling me how he's not rich but not poor either. I replied, "Well, as long as you're not a garbage man!" Guess what his profession is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12794

You deserved it

41896

Favorite

By barri - Costa Rica

Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63124

You deserved it

2805

Favorite

By legotron - United States

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42666

You deserved it

2541

Favorite

By fuck - Canada - Airdrie

Late reaction

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2203

You deserved it

629

Favorite

By elcee1987 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took my niece to the zoo. She was crying so I pointed out the chimpanzee to distract her. At the same time, he sat down and began to jack off. My niece won't stop making the same motion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24897

You deserved it

2257

Favorite

By WhyMe

Today, at work, a customer was staring at me for a long time. Hoping to break the awkwardness, I asked him what brought him to the store today. He complimented me on my friendly demeanor and then followed up with: "Since you're so friendly, how about coming in the bathroom with me and giving me a hand?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

6090

You deserved it

349

Favorite

By I have Flashbacks Now - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9317

You deserved it

885

Favorite

By peachesthepigeon - United States

Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30056

You deserved it

2657

Favorite

By minissaussette - France - Cergy

Today, my 4-year-old brother has a very strict 8:30 PM bedtime. Since I would have to walk past his door to get to the rest of the house, I'm not allowed to leave my room past that time, lest I tempt him to get up too. I can't even go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22455

You deserved it

1648

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, it's my birthday, I received two cards, one from my mum and one from my son, that my mum gave to him to give to me. My entire family said they couldn't be bothered going out for dinner for my birthday. My two 'friends' didn't even send a card, never mind a gift or want to meet up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2028

You deserved it

212

Favorite

By swip

Today, my previously blond boyfriend dyed his hair dark brown and shaved his beard. When he got home, I thought he was an intruder and screamed. Now he thinks I don't love him because I didn't recognize him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3828

You deserved it

609

Favorite

By probablydodgedabullet - Australia - Wollongong

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49756

You deserved it

4635

Favorite

By jogger - United States

Today, I was jogging when a woman ran out of her house and handed me an invitation for a party. What was the invitation for? A weight loss treatment party. Guess the jogging isn't working. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27324

You deserved it

3042

Favorite

By poorpony

Today, I got on an elevator with a couple that started fighting about which sex outfit the guy should wear for their next roleplay. When they couldn't decide, they proceeded to show me all of the photos, including a My Little Pony outfit. I had to go up the next 22 floors with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3648

You deserved it

333

Favorite

By RootalyTootToot

Today, after slipping on my stairs and spraining my ankle, I got a brace and crutches at urgent care. When I went to get into my car, my crutch slipped on some paper and I fell. I crawled back into urgent care, only to learn that my sprained ankle is now broken in 2 places. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3259

You deserved it

244

Favorite

By AtLeastIGetOvertime - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I asked my supervisor if I could take a week off next month to go visit family. He laughed and said, "That's funny, I've put you down for extra time that week, so you can cover my shifts while I go to Spain!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

1798

You deserved it

160

Favorite

By UsedForSurgery

Today, after having surgery, I called my family to tell them I was out, safe, and on my way home. The first thing they asked was if they could "borrow" some of my pain meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3699

You deserved it

213

Favorite

By welp - United States - Grass Lake

Today, I worked a short shift at work, getting sent home early because it was slow. In the time I was gone, my family decided surprise me by rearranging my room and put in my new desk. They also surprised me when I learned that they'd spilled a slushie on my very expensive computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20438

You deserved it

1339

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By comedybreak | 20

#5978276 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 11:36

How unaware of your surroundings are you... YDI

By Meggston | 17

#5978278 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 11:38

That's extraordinarily disgusting.

COMMENTS

By comedybreak | 20

#5978276 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 11:36

How unaware of your surroundings are you... YDI

spignona84 | 11

#5978400 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 15:39

The automatic ones also have push buttons. Maybe OP just thinks he's never heard it flush.

zebrainthenight | 13

#5978602 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 18:55

Right? That's crazy.

And look- OP is a guy. If he had to stand up when he was done, that means he took a shit, he didn't just pee.

A7XCamaro | 19

#5978612 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 19:12

Or he wanted a minute to play on his phone.

JJ_86 | 22

#5978776 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 21:58

Not just phone if he was working there for 9 months. Fuck the lives of all those who had to use toilet after OP the Ignorant dumbhead.

Ololo_fml | 15

#5979523 - Wednesday 18 June 2014 12:27

ewwww that stinks

By Mirorbo | 26

#5978277 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 11:39

So you just walked away every time, regardless of the lack of sound of flushing?

MrDonSalvetti | 27

#5978280 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 11:39

Maybe he thought they invented the "silent toilet" already?

By Meggston | 17

#5978278 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 11:38

That's extraordinarily disgusting.

jad0016 | 12

#5978863 - Wednesday 18 June 2014 0:01

So let me get this straight.. everytime you've left the bathroom you've left a big old shit sitting in the toliet for the next lucky guy. Dude thats disgusting -__-

kingdomgirl94 | 28

#5978981 - Wednesday 18 June 2014 2:15

No thread jacking man, not cool.

By umerin | 32

#5978279 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 11:39

That's gross. So you leave your piss/crap in there for other people to deal with? Did you not realize when you didn't hear the toilet flush?

anrou8 | 9

#5978339 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 13:34

shit happens

By ElinsVal | 9

#5978281 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 11:39

What. Didn't you notice before that it didn't flush?

lexiieeex3 | 32

#5990934 - Saturday 28 June 2014 10:09

Obviously not.

By Adam5858 | 17

#5978282 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 11:40

Toilet flushing automatically!!! I never heard of that

xSalashawty | 30

#5978286 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 11:43

There's quite a few here and honestly they scare the shit out of me sometimes, no pun intended.

SMHsohard | 22

#5978385 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 14:58

Especially when they flush before you stand up

mattrd_fml | 31

#5978614 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 19:14

Sometimes they flush before you stand up and it sprays drops of water on your rear. annoying!

TheVurcle | 10

#5978845 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 23:26

Idiot

awkward_welcomes | 8

#5978880 - Wednesday 18 June 2014 0:24

He most likely doesn't have them where he lives. You not realizing that or thinking that, means that you might be the idiot

By chuksnwali | 34

#5978283 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 11:38

Oh dude, this means that you left crap for people to deal with.

meli1195 | 31

#5978296 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 12:08

You would think that OP would have noticed that he never heard the flushing sound seeing as how automatic toilets flush right away. And it really is effing disgusting when people leave turds for others to deal with.

acerredrum | 23

#5978310 - Tuesday 17 June 2014 12:45

It is actually kind of weird that it isn't an automatic toilet. Automatic toilets tend to have a small button on the side just in case it doesn't register you, you still have a way to flush. Manual toilets usually have a lever.