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Game over

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I folded a stack of 2,500 brochures for the new exhibit we're putting on at the museum where I work. As I was finishing up, I got an email. The dates have just been changed, so all the brochures have to be reprinted and refolded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 729

You deserved it 2 009

By Anonymous - 14/06/2015 08:10 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I laid in bed until 3am kept up by a house party. In my own house. Which my housemates didn't invite me to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 729

You deserved it 3 663

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 14:22 - United States

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 728

You deserved it 4 030

By Jon - 14/05/2012 21:46 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 727

You deserved it 6 240

Rave on

By poorclubgoer - 14/11/2009 10:11 - United States

Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 726

You deserved it 5 954

By troyrm85 - 16/02/2010 09:37 - France

Today, I got a call from the police saying they found my stolen car. Not only did I not know my car was stolen, but it was completely stripped. No tires or doors left, and the engine was taken apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 725

You deserved it 2 277

troyrm85 tells us more.

troyrm85 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 20:31

the persons property that is was left on reported it. They found my insurance paperwork in the vehicle and got ahold of me.

By themuffinman - 27/12/2011 15:15 - Japan

Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 724

You deserved it 3 237

By ineedaraise - 15/07/2015 01:04 - Canada - London

Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 723

You deserved it 2 321

By lovefool - 12/01/2011 10:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me by text. It's also the day that the birthday present I ordered for him was finally processed and shipped, meaning I can't cancel and get my money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 722

You deserved it 2 847

By stillyoung - 02/11/2010 06:50 - Australia

Today, I discovered that the upside of losing weight is that men have started hitting on me. The downside? They're all twice my age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 721

You deserved it 4 433

Another fine mess

By Stephanie - 05/03/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I bought my wedding dress and sat it on the bed while I went to buy matching shoes. When I came home, I saw my soon to be husband on the bed sitting next to my wedding dress. Turns out he spilt Coca-Cola on the dress and was trying to get it out with carpet cleanser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 721

You deserved it 5 536

By sausagefingers - 22/10/2012 05:29 - United States - Nixa

Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 721

You deserved it 4 040

By Noname - 31/12/2008 18:03 - France

Today, the incredibly handsome, talented, hilarious, and intelligent man that I've fallen head over heels like no other for is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 719

You deserved it 4 442

By ugh - 20/06/2015 10:45 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 718

You deserved it 2 838

By IrNatalie - 02/06/2015 08:59 - United States - Laveen

Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 717

You deserved it 1 897

Jack…

By Alliente - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 716

You deserved it 3 951

By Living_Loving - 07/03/2010 01:21 - Australia

Today, I spent the night with my boyfriend as he promised me that his parents and younger brother, who I have yet to meet, were out of town until Tuesday. We were awoken by his mother screaming, telling me that she doesn't want girls in the house corrupting her baby boy. He's 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 715

You deserved it 4 202

Living_Loving tells us more.

Living_Loving 6

Monday 8 March 2010 4:31

Hey OP here, my boyfriend is a full time University student who works three nights a week and is currently trying to pay off his $20,000 degree. Yes it was the first time I had met his mother, and obviously if she was home I wouldn't have stayed over if she didn't want me to. Give me some credit. And oath it was one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life. -.-

By angry - 04/11/2009 18:51 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was on webcam with my girlfriend, who was naked. She turned the webcam to point it at the screen for a second, and she was also on webcam with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 715

You deserved it 3 247

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 712

You deserved it 6 410

By ohhhjaymo13 - 05/02/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 711

You deserved it 3 380

Hangry

By nd.11 - 01/03/2010 16:59 - Canada

Today, I was on a city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling on it. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say, "Stop chewing on that!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 710

You deserved it 2 814

We got a reader!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 05:18 - United States - Hobbs

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 708

You deserved it 3 793

By boogery - 26/01/2015 19:17 - United States

Today, after putting a bag of dirty laundry in the laundry room to wait for an open washer, I came back to find a "free stuff" sign on all of my expensive jeans, new towels, and favorite sweatshirts. The bag was over half empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 708

You deserved it 13 552

By Anonymous - 12/12/2014 14:45 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, my commitment issues were perfectly illustrated when I couldn't put a nail in the wall to hang a painting, because, "What if I change my mind?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 708

You deserved it 6 034

By Anonymous - 23/06/2012 14:59 - Ireland - Cork

Spicy

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 708

You deserved it 4 720

Made his mark

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 707

You deserved it 3 385

By impickingyourhomegran - 13/08/2012 22:12 - United Kingdom - London

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 705

You deserved it 1 948

Emergency situation

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 704

You deserved it 5 487

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 00:53 - United States - Piedmont

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 703

You deserved it 39 053

Good one, thanks

By FUCKFACECUNT - 02/08/2015 13:32 - United Arab Emirates - Abu Dhabi

Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 702

You deserved it 2 396

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Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 673

You deserved it 3 012

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 528

You deserved it 3 688

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 191

You deserved it 3 788

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 743

You deserved it 8 145

Today, and ever since July 2009, when someone from high school harassed me by being the first one to write on my Facebook profile, "You need to change your profile photo", I've been dealing with Facebook drama that's caused me mental illness for the past 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 483

Today, I put solar lights in my yard to finally figure out what my dog has been chasing over the fence at night. It's rats. She's been chasing rats that have invaded my backyard every night for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 150