Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Today, I was mugged while on my way to the bookstore. I'd saved up for months to make a mega-purchase of study materials for my major, only for it to be taken away in a few seconds by some lowlife thug. FML
Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
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Top comments
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Wouldn't be a bad idea to get a real gun and learn how to [properly] shoot.
TomeDr 25
Go to a shooting range that allows you to rent a gun. Get some silhouette targets and make a few nice clusters around the head and chest. Next time those idiots see you, hand one of them to them and say “see what I can do!!”
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Comments (4)
DLBL 23
Pack heat.
mike3775 39
Get something stronger that will inflict a hospital stay, hint the thing I suggest starts with the letter G and ends with N and only has a vowel in between the G and N
GoogieWithers 25
It could be called a GON. As in if you use it, the other person could be GON.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Wouldn't be a bad idea to get a real gun and learn how to [properly] shoot.
TomeDr 25
Go to a shooting range that allows you to rent a gun. Get some silhouette targets and make a few nice clusters around the head and chest. Next time those idiots see you, hand one of them to them and say “see what I can do!!”