The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Ouch

By Annalise - 16/12/2022 19:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I jumped up to touch the ceiling, then I landed on one of my younger sibling's Lego. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 820

Strict house

By Sierra - 10/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, after I spent a weekend at my boyfriend’s house, I came home to find the locks changed. My parents decided to change them because they “don’t need me slutting around under their roof.” My boyfriend lives 4 hours away and I have nothing but an overnight bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 167

CREEPY!

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 22:00

Today, my father-in-law confessed during dinner that he watched me and my wife have sex that morning through the window. He even more awkwardly brought it back up later that evening to say I seemed very good at it, and tried asking for details about me and my wife’s sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 81

Disconnected

By Chrissy - 08/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was having a romantic dinner with my girlfriend when she said she had a confession. I expected something cute. Instead, she told me she’s been "reconnecting" with her ex for the past month... and wants to go back to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 66

Mind the handbrake!

By Anonymous - 07/09/2021 11:01

Today, I've been loyal to my wife for almost 25 years then I randomly bumped into my high school sweetheart, sparks flew like when we were teenagers, and less than an hour later we were having sex in her car. I feel like such scum. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 8 682

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 00:00

Today, I was told Thanksgiving was cancelled after I'd already sent $100 to my sister-in-law to help with food costs. It turns out that it wasn't cancelled, I was just uninvited so her friends could go. I can't afford a meal for myself. I hope they all get food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 69

Helpless

By Anonymous - 11/01/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my husband actually helped put our 4 year-old to bed because I was watching my nephews, who were about to be picked up. When I was sitting with my nephews in the living room, he yelled for me to help with our daughter. I said I couldn’t and he told me to shut up. I put her to bed every other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 150

Revenge is rarely satisfactory

By forgettable - 21/06/2020 20:08

Today, I wanted to rub my success in my ex's face to get her back for breaking my heart. I typed the perfect email, included every detail of opening my own business, buying my own home and cleverly intertwined insults. A few hours later, she replied, "That’s nice. Who’s this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 4 044

Pagans!

By Depressed Ghost - 01/11/2021 14:00

Today, it's the Halloween after my wife and I moved into a predominantly Muslim neighborhood. We waited for three hours with a big bowl of Snickers, before the restaurant owner downstairs told us no one would come because Muslims don’t celebrate Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 901

Dead man walking

By what did i do to deserve this - 03/03/2024 07:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I crossed the street at a crosswalk and someone in a big pickup truck swerved to try to hit me. This has happened to me multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 117

By finocchio - 04/03/2011 06:08 - Italy

Today, after seven months studying in Italy, I understood that the "Finocchio" nickname that my Italian friends gave to me really means "Queer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 87

Great, just great

By Anonymous - 06/06/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, after finally working there long enough for medical and dental insurance to kick in, my employers decided we should part ways. Then, while I was eating dinner, my crown popped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 72

Leadership qualities

By Anonymous - 03/11/2023 15:00 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I learned that although I’m apparently not qualified to be a department supervisor, I’m entirely qualified to train the person who got the promotion over me, who has never worked in my department before. Boy, do I feel appreciated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 85

Stars of CCTV

By Guess I'm jobless - 10/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 248

New model

By Anonymous - 16/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, the man I've been with for ten years left me for a coworker he's known for three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 84

HAZARDOUS WASTE!

By Anonymous - 07/10/2023 20:00 - Germany

Today, my mom tried to keep her boyfriend from indiscriminately devouring my personal things in the fridge. So, instead of just sticking a note with my name on them, the lids of my jars of homemade pesto are now decorated in sharpie with a motif of “NO! DO NOT EAT!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 133

Cursed cursive

By Cursive Curse - 06/12/2022 00:00

Today, I realized I am one of those people who has trouble reading their own handwriting. It looks like someone trying to write in cursive when they don't even have the slightest idea what cursive writing even is. I do know what it is. I'm just very, very rusty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 297

It's all about control

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, my parents said they were cutting me off for saving a kitten's life and wanting to keep it. I am 40 years-old and don't get any money from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 66

Triggering

By Anonymous - 29/05/2024 06:00 - United States - White Plains

Today, a cashier sniffed at the money "you people" waste on tattoos. I have two full sleeve bamboo thickets to cover up old self-harm scars, but her criticism caused the self-hatred to come roaring back. Now it's a struggle to not fall back into those habits and damage that admittedly expensive artwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 216

Hold on…

By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home and my elderly mum was on the house phone on hold. She had rung the number next to a crossword to complain that the crossword was unsolvable because they'd made a spelling mistake. I looked at the display; she’d been on hold for 6 hours at £1 a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 72

Are you sure she wasn't messing with you?

By Bengt - 27/02/2025 15:00 - Sweden - Lidingoe

Today, I was chatting with an American woman I met on a dating app. All was going well until she told me the names of her two kids. She had seriously named them "Trump" and "Maga." FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 142

Wiped out

By At least I came... - 17/09/2022 02:00 - Germany - Frechen

Today, my wife and I had a quickie, then my wife left to fetch our daughter afterward. I wanted to work out, but after that orgasm, I didn't have the energy. I wrote my wife that due to my recent orgasm, I was too weak for sport. Turns out I wrote it to a group chat including my wife and mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 1 875

Snarky

By Anonymous - 13/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, we are severely understaffed, and I'm very often the only person working my shift. There's a yuppie who comes in and complains when we have to pause service due to shift change. He does this every day, and I'd had enough, so I slid him an application ,and told him to fill it out, wait, or leave. I got written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 154

Never enough

By Anonymous - 09/02/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I made the mistake of being competent at chores, so according to my wife I’m trying to show her up, because I don’t appreciate her contribution to the household, and I secretly think she’s useless, blah blah. I had a day off so I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom. Lock me up, I’m guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 79

Doodoo

By not Sesame Street! - 28/10/2023 20:00

Today, I still get irrationally angry and distracted when my teacher refers to bodily functions as “poop, pee, number 1 & 2, etc.” and calls things icky. I’m literally in nursing school with an instructor who talks like Elmo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 166

By Anonyme - 26/09/2014 06:56 - France - Saint-di

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 71

Brave boy

By Anonymous - 22/06/2024 00:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me on my 30th birthday, through text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 111

Time to go to the vet

By Pooped - 08/09/2023 01:00 - United States

Today, my cat is extremely sick and has trouble grooming himself. As evidenced by his butt. He laid on me for a while and it wasn't until a few minutes after he got off that I realized he had stained my pants. That also explains why my chair suddenly looks so nasty, and why my room smells horrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 261

Incomplete freedom

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 123

Booksmart

By Anonymous - 04/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my dad accused me of being illiterate when I used a word he'd never heard of, saying it sounded like lazy slang, and that it wasn't a real word. He then yelled at me for being a "smartass who's always right" when I read aloud the definition from his 1978 copy of Webster's dictionary. Guess he's not enthused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 104

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The Top

Today, I logged onto Facebook and saw that I had a message from my ex boyfriend. It's only been two weeks since we broke up and I assumed he sent me a message begging for me to take him back. He wanted to apologize for sleeping with my sister last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 557

You deserved it 5 709

Today, my best friend’s parents told me they’re gonna take me to court and sue me for “all I got.” Turns out, he'd committed suicide after I got in a relationship with someone else. Apparently, he’s had feelings for me for a while and couldn’t handle that fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 244

You deserved it 123

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 644

You deserved it 9 958

Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 976

You deserved it 19 615

Today, my toxic daughter learned that yelling at a biker chick won’t just get her an argument, it will get her several broken bones and a concussion. The FML is that I now have to take care of her with her broken leg for six weeks. I hate her; she’s such a bitch to everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 341

Today, after two months of being apart from my wife of five years, who'd returned to Panama to deal with a family issue, she innocently slips into conversation that she’s been hanging out with her high school boyfriend. When challenged, she responded, “You get to see me all the time!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 113