By BBeffedmylife - 14/06/2014 14:18 - United States - Morganville

Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 585
You deserved it 7 923

BBeffedmylife tells us more.

OP here! Stoked that this got published! A couple of things... This actually happened last year. I had just had my daughter a couple months prior. For those of you who have never had children, it takes awhile to be comfortable with your body after being pregnant and giving birth to baby. Also, for those of you wondering, I am actually a married woman. Married women can still find someone attractive without wanting to get in their pants. I was mostly just flattered that someone was actually taking notice in me after feeling so huge and unattractive for the past year. Thank you so much for the positive comments!! A lot of you made me smile and laugh!

Top comments

1dvs_bstd 41

le husband shows up, wearing a bane mask "well hello there Mr. UPS man, you should have left my wife alone! Now Let's go for a drive."

746278Ab 14

Haha maybe he's into great moms! No worries, if he still checked you out with stains just image you without them next time!


brettrb 18

I would venture to say that most human beings aren't turned on by most bodily fluids..

1dvs_bstd 41

you haven't been watching ****, have you? also, why are the comments on fml so one dimensional? "sorry OP" "Better luck next time OP" "you mean ex right?!" it's like everyone is afraid of saying what is in their mind or telling a joke or sh!t.

Good catch #26, that's cause no one wants to cross the Hello Kitty gang, who downvote everything that's not OTT compassionate and respectful. Bastards.

@26, If you make a joke that may be construed as slightly mean or harsh, you get an immediate downvote. OP, just laugh it off. You should never see him again.

@26 @58 - I try to make all my comments meaningful, but most of my jokes are just too dry or offensive. I get buried a lot. :)

Maybe he wanted some MILF and cookies. That's all(;

maybe he really liked yor milky ways OP, don'be shy

C7_fml 17

My thoughts exactly! I had the same theory but never thought of calling the the hello kitty gang. Honestly no one goes on Fml to feel pity and compassion for first world problems. They go on to laugh their a$$es off and feel better about their own lives.

I'm sorry if this is a stupid question, but what's a "Hello Kitty Gang"?

#58, that sounded like she should avoid him purposely lol

746278Ab 14

Haha maybe he's into great moms! No worries, if he still checked you out with stains just image you without them next time!

I feel like him "checking her out" was him looking down at the stains and back up

gjikvtj 18

Maybe he's turned on by minivans and soccer practice too

I think the real question here is what color shirt was she wearing? That can totally change what had went down.

shivamtrivedi 24

Well, at least his noticeable checking out means that he liked what he saw. You've given a nice show, OP. You can still remain confident about your body.

fearlesscooldude 12

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Just because she has a kid doesn't mean she is in a relationship. She could very well be a single mom.

He said you're... There was no correction needed.

....when YOU'RE in a relationship. I know what I'm talking about.

How do we know the OP is not one of those crazy ladies that still nurse their kid in their tweens, "Game of Throne" style?

I definitely don't! Lol but I do love the GOT reference!

I wrote this before I scrolled down and saw your reply. Congrats on your baby. (:

riiiiight, she should really cast her eyes downward in the presence of a male

My youngest is a wee dragon plus she's an Aquarius! She is basically a hippy chick with attitude, perfection! congrats on your baby!!

Weird how my first comment was thumbed down but my second comment wasn't. alrighty then.

Maybe he wants a share of that. I heard breast milk is good.

It's apparently a new supplement for serious body builders.

breast milk does have a lot of different uses. if your into it

pwnman 33


And 63 remembers the follow up to that FML! My eyes are still bleeding from the caps lock abuse!

You never know what can perk a's maybe something he likes

Well atleast you didnt see it while out there