Oh. Dear. Me. No way back from that which I can see. I assume you’re now the ex?

Did you try to walk your soiled sheets through the kitchen to the laundry yourself, get in a tug of war with her mum, and wind up spattering her family with your faeces? Been there...

If you're drinking so much you shit yourself, you should see your doctor for help ditching the booze.

Drinking past your limit alone is unrecommended. Doing so around others is ugly. Doing it around your SO’s family is the worst. I’m sure she’s more embarrassed than you

Yeah, you totally deserve that. You knew you were going to be meeting your girlfriend's parents and you intentionally drank too much. That's on you.