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The all-time greatest FMLs

Baked

By Ooops - 12/09/2019 22:02 - Canada

Today, I kept smelling the pleasant odor of baking bread while driving around. Tonight, I realized that the smell of yeast was actually coming from a cup of moldy smoothie that got missed and left in a cup holder in the back of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 605

Dad of the day

By Anonymous - 04/07/2023 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad is disappointed in me because I came to him for advice on how I should tell my girlfriend I don’t feel ready for sex yet. He just looked at me, shook his head, and walked away. Later he sent my mom to ask me if I’m gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 457

Girlfriends or girl friends?

By Charlotte - 25/05/2022 22:00

Today, I was going through my sibling’s old phones from high school, trying to find pictures of our deceased father. It turns out that all my girlfriends had sent my brother nudes at one point or another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 216

By Anonymous - 03/07/2019 21:00 - Canada

Today, I was so zoned-out, I shouted a hello to the chair in the staff room. It's the third time today I've mistaken an inanimate object for a person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 542

Married life

By Anonymous - 06/04/2022 12:00

Today, my husband threw an anger fit and left home after a fight. I only said that maybe he's not that interested in sex after marriage. Why? In the 5 years of our marriage, he has initiated sex exactly 0 times, while during courtship it was numerous times during the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 174

Systemic

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 04:00

Today my 98-year-old grandad has Alzheimer’s and seems to think I’m his senior officer from his first years as a police officer. Apparently a lot of illegal shit went on in those days, when cops were bigger crooks than the actual criminals were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 139

Great start

By MattClifford - 15/11/2020 17:01 - Australia

Today, I passed my driver's test. As I was driving home, I was rear-ended. Rear-ended by the examiner that'd passed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 75

Monster couch

By smurfette7413 - 13/10/2020 05:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a little fun when the pull-out couch decided to try to eat us. Now I have a broken nose and my boyfriend keeps making jokes about the "human eating couch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 217

Opportunist

By Tmo - 12/08/2023 08:00

Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 132

So frustrating

By Anonymous - 10/07/2022 14:00

Today, it's been two years since I've started having agonizing pain during sex, and worse period pains than when I was a teenager. So far, no gynecologist can figure out what's wrong and endometriosis has been ruled out after several painful examinations and tests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 135