Today, I had to repeat myself multiple times and dumb down all my anatomical terms and symptoms while describing my illness to my doctor. I want to switch, but my insurance won’t cover another one for at least 60 more days. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, a guy drove an hour and a half to get to where I live, only to literally last less than 30 seconds. FML
Today, we're both working parents. My husband gave a lecture about "mother's duties" and "dad's duties". Why? Because I asked him to get our toddler ready for school and change our son's diaper as I was down with severe COVID. For just one day, I asked him to do a part of my tasks. It's 2022, and I earn more than him. FML
Today, I found out my mom is sleeping with my boss. My dad doesn’t know yet. FML
Today, I told my fiancé that I don’t believe in God, so I won’t be going to church anymore because I’ll be picking up the Sunday shift at work. I don’t have a fiancé anymore because I’m, “a godless heathen who will burn for eternity.” FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, it's my best friend's birthday. She went missing almost five years ago. My parents tell me to just "get over it", as if missing her is wrong. FML
Today, after my younger sister always made a habit of using everything of mine, from clothes to shoes to jewelry, the list now includes my boyfriend. FML
Today, I accidentally pulled out six of my eyelashes. It's noticeable. Very noticeable. FML
Today, I’m at the stage of my life where a normal bowel movement is practically a cause for celebration. FML
Today, over half of my coworkers have called out for various reasons and my manager is on her third week of vacation. My coworkers keep calling out. I'm the only closer. I just want a day off. FML
Today, I had a friend quit every friend group we shared, all because I refused to show him favouritism in my D&D campaign, after I changed the rules to reduce favouritism between everyone, because he'd complained. FML
Today, I was so bored under quarantine, I spent 2 hours on a colouring book for toddlers. I need human contact, any human, desperately, before I start talking to the walls or seeing pink elephants. FML
Today, after I was gentrified out of my rent-controlled San Francisco apartment on June 1st by speculators, which I could only afford because of the rent control, I haven’t been able to find a new place yet. I've been living in hotels off a small settlement, but money ran out last week so now I’m on the streets. FML
justme415 tells us more.
LOL Great advice. You are so wise. ooops, sorry, I meant you’re a miserable, unpleasant, hateful person. But yeah, if you must know, 1) the rent control started 30 years ago, way before and had nothing at all to do with COVID, 2) I am disabled and on a fixed, severely limited income and have been looking for another place I can afford the for 14 years (the entire time I’ve lived in this place), 3) even still, I spend the majority of every day job hunting, so far with no success. it literally take less than 3 minutes to post an FML, I assume from your comment that you never take any breaks at your job, and (4) the eviction was gentrification. the new owners of the building took it off the rental market so they can rent it out again after 4 years at a much higher rent (they specifically have a history of doing it to other buildings) and 5) there’s a government program that provides free cell phone and service, including data, to low-income people. So in the words of tRump who it’s apparent you’re a supporter of, suck it (my words) you nasty woman (tRumps words).
Today, waiting in the deli line at the store, a woman stood directly next to me. I panicked and tried to move back to get a 6-foot distance, but in my panic I didn’t realize there was a stand behind me. I almost fell over, so I gasped super loud. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy. FML
Today, I got home from my tour of duty. The first thing my teen daughter said to me was could she have some money, because mom won’t give her anymore since she got caught using her allowance to buy weed. Not even a "Hello" or tears of joy to see me, just a demand for drug money. FML
Today, I gave my friend a $5 VR set that I purchased from the dollar store for Christmas. I received a $60 gift card. Later, I realized I left the receipt in the package. FML
Today, I had a Tinder date with a girl who lied about her age; she was 22 but had told me she was 37. She used the word “like” seven times in the same sentence and and announced she expected me to pay her entire bill. I just walked away, so she threw a waiter's tray at the back of my head. FML
Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML
Today, I woke up to my step-mother taking a shower in my bathroom. Of course, this would be fine, if my bathroom wasn't connected to my room and closet, or that I live in an apartment in their back yard, built before she moved in. FML
Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML
Today, while planning my baby shower with my mom and sister, our other sister made a huge scene, screaming how no one threw her a party when she adopted a baby, and that my parents should stop referring to mine as their first grandchild since she already gave them one. A puppy. She has a puppy. FML
Today, I walked outside and was so happy about the return of smell of campfires and summer time. I now realize that the campfire smell was a house burning down in my neighborhood. FML
Today, my sister and I were trying to teach our kids how to Double Dutch. While giving a demonstration of how to jump in while the ropes were turning, my feet got jumbled. I ended up faceplanting in front of all the kids, who screamed in horror at my bloodied face and missing tooth. FML
Today, my husband and I purchased a new-used truck, after being assured for weeks by the company owner we work for that the company will remain open. Later, we received an email saying that the office is closing permanently. Our jobs are "secure", but he needs help selling and moving the equipment. FML
Today, I got a letter from a hostel I stayed at saying they were going to sue me for leaving them a negative Google review. I was the victim of a $7000 theft crime there. They refused to call the police and ambulance when it happened, and they didn’t even give me my money I paid to stay there back. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I was at work serving customers at the checkout. A girl was brushing the floor behind me. I turned around and whichever way she brushed, the brush hit me twice straight in the balls before she noticed anything. She had to serve the rest of the customers while I recovered. FML
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