Spotted

Today, the guy that I have been seeing for over a year left on a business trip. While straightening out his room as a favor, I noticed he took his condoms with him. FML

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

Today, my girlfriend, who I've been dating for over a year, was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. That's when I saw she'd packed 10 condoms with her. FML

The grass is never greener

Today, after having gone off the pill a couple of weeks ago, I finally got my old friskiness back only to find part of a condom wrapper in my husband's pocket. Turns out he was impatient and went elsewhere. FML

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

Erection for Protection

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML