By Snowflakepandi

Sneaky sneaky...

Today, while on vacation, I found out that my boyfriend moved out. He had claimed that he couldn't come with me because his boss messed up his time off request, and for the last two days he said he'd been "cleaning". FML

I agree, your life sucks

3383

You deserved it

268

Favorite

Love

Out of it

Call CPS!

Extreme late fees

By weddingcrashed - United States

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks

79449

You deserved it

4294

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I found out that I'm not my girlfriend's only boyfriend. The other guy sells shoes on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1498

You deserved it

108

Favorite

By _schaden_freude - United Kingdom - Ashford

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30269

You deserved it

1811

Favorite

By what.....? - United States

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21817

You deserved it

2106

Favorite

By brigie - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51428

You deserved it

8121

Favorite

By toyotasmash - United States

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33703

You deserved it

3527

Favorite

By meeeeeee - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend peeing in the cat's litter box. I'm the one who has to clean it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29898

You deserved it

3866

Favorite

By catgirl911 - United States

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15118

You deserved it

25034

Favorite

By Sick Guy - United States - Boynton Beach

buys case of Listerine

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4850

You deserved it

327

Favorite

By Need Help - United States - Victorville

Today, my grandma went for a walk after being told that she has a bad heart and a fall could be fatal. She fell, fracturing both wrists, and is now in casts and can't do anything herself. Turned out it was only fatal to my college semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3399

You deserved it

311

Favorite

By Username - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47089

You deserved it

8169

Favorite

By Oblivious - Kuwait

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks

155597

You deserved it

16182

Favorite

By Anonymous - South Africa - Pinetown

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33013

You deserved it

3317

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I sat right next to the door on the bus. When I went to get up, a man tripped and pushed me down the exit door stairs. I fell down and legitimately broke my ankle. While tending to my ankle, the bus doors closed and my backpack with my laptop, notes and calculator drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39784

You deserved it

2359

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Saint-hubert

Good tasting

Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1960

You deserved it

741

Favorite

By Le Dookie - United States - Sugar Land

Today, I got denied a refund for my dream coffee machine. I've overdrafted my bank account to buy it on Offer Up for an excellent price, but USPS delivered the package to a wrong address. Someone got it for free. Offer Up won't refund me because it says "delivered" on the tracking page. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3180

You deserved it

725

Favorite

By dinapar - Canada

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62840

You deserved it

4950

Favorite

By manda - United States

Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple of weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56187

You deserved it

7759

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Nutley

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32540

You deserved it

6115

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my daughter told me her tummy hurt, but I assumed she was lying because she hates visiting grandma. About 20 minutes into the car ride, she got excited and said, "Mum my tummy doesn’t hurt anymore!" About 10 seconds later the smell filled the car right up to the roof. It was diarrhoea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1651

You deserved it

3282

Favorite

By hellphone_fml

Today, my brother's new kitten decided to bring me a gift as a sign of love. It was my pet hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2815

You deserved it

278

Favorite

By nowork - United States - Liverpool

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59222

You deserved it

7707

Favorite

By Jaxter - United States

Today, I was walking up to girlfriends house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic i surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and i watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriends mom in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

80758

You deserved it

14959

Favorite

By wtf1234 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32785

You deserved it

4373

Favorite

By Shooter71 - France

Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46020

You deserved it

3792

Favorite

By longday - Canada

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24468

You deserved it

6733

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/5/2020 08:00

Evil will always win

Today, I tried to suspend a junior accountant for turning up to work late and stoned 3 separate times. Turns out his uncle is a part owner of the business, so the accountant got to smile his smug little grin as I got yelled at for not minding my own business. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1963

You deserved it

174

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28768

You deserved it

2169

Favorite

By cherokeems - United States - Harriman

Today, my 8-month-old dog decided to decorate the living room by tearing apart a rented college textbook, the reference guide that went with it, and part of a color therapy book. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21928

You deserved it

3685

Favorite

By Anon - United States

Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14684

You deserved it

48110

Favorite

By Whoops - United States

Oh, thanks…

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16104

You deserved it

72763

Favorite

By Oh_Well - United States

Today, I finally had time to talk with my boyfriend. We had a nice long conversation, which included him telling me how much I meant to him and that we really need to see each other more often. He concluded the speech twenty minutes later with "Which is why I really hope we can stay friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks

37222

You deserved it

3112

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to mock a few stuck-up runners by effortlessly jumping over the track hurdles. The last one was the easiest. The easiest to crush my balls on, and twist my ankle up in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9373

You deserved it

52101

Favorite

By disgusted - United States

Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25091

You deserved it

2128

Favorite

By NowBubbleWrapSucks

Today, my mom went into a full war against dirt and plastic-wrapped our entire house. The floor, furniture, even our feet now have to be covered in plastic. Everything squeaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3474

You deserved it

237

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36213

You deserved it

16720

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

70363

You deserved it

687528

Favorite

By poop_mcqueen - United States

Today, I bought a cool new pair of sunglasses. I wore them today, and all day I kept getting comments about how much I looked like Ozzy Osbourne and John Lennon. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34351

You deserved it

13285

Favorite

By emperor - Bangladesh

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48403

You deserved it

30566

Favorite

By Imnotfromhere - 13/2/2021 05:01

Great mom you got there

Today, I felt an intense pain in my abdomen, so my mom drove me to the hospital. When we were in the waiting room, she rudely said, "It's probably an STD since you're such a slut." And then she left me there. It was a kidney infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1655

You deserved it

125

Favorite

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Top comments

By SteelSoul5 | 9

#7532423 - Tuesday 22 August 2017 3:46

Coward

By RichardPencil | 30

#7536399 - Friday 1 September 2017 15:59

You didn’t think there were problems before you left?

A man cleaning for two days should cause alarm bells to go off!

COMMENTS

By SteelSoul5 | 9

#7532423 - Tuesday 22 August 2017 3:46

Coward

By davecross | 11

#7536358 - Friday 1 September 2017 14:06

Why do people have to be sneaky like that. If he wanted to break up he should have just told you to you face. Yes it might hurt but at least he was honest. However The only exception for someone sneaking out of a relationship is if you SO is abusive towards you

By PennyLane27 | 32

#7536383 - Friday 1 September 2017 15:29

Relationships are complicated. It's entirely possible the guy thought this was his only option, and it very well may have been. Or he sucks as a person. Or maybe the truth is somewhere between. It's not something we will ever know.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7536399 - Friday 1 September 2017 15:59

You didn’t think there were problems before you left?

A man cleaning for two days should cause alarm bells to go off!

By Eliana Wilson | 13

#7536459 - Friday 1 September 2017 19:25

Well just tell him you're 'Alone' at your vacation and have been doing nothing but taking showers in a really suspicious way.

By Ciara Koch | 21

#7536498 - Friday 1 September 2017 21:23

He probably has been cleaning...cleaning up his new house

By afallingstar | 22

#7536614 - Saturday 2 September 2017 5:04

Better for it to end this way then to have his new girlfriend email you... (as my ex did to me)

Sneaky sneaky...

*buys case of Listerine*

Good tasting

Evil will always win

Oh, thanks…

Great mom you got there

buys case of Listerine