By Snowflakepandi

Sneaky sneaky...

Today, while on vacation, I found out that my boyfriend moved out. He had claimed that he couldn't come with me because his boss messed up his time off request, and for the last two days he said he'd been "cleaning". FML

I agree, your life sucks

3374

You deserved it

265

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Love

Relationships sink

Where are you?

Near the knuckle

By sadsadperson - Australia

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44790

You deserved it

30708

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By Anonymous - United States - Raleigh

Today, my neighbors left for their nine month excursion, and armed their security system. One of the features is a loud series of three beeps every three seconds, 24 hours a day. I can hear it, clear as a bell, throughout my entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26290

You deserved it

1544

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I found out that the doctors accidentally perforated my left ear drum performing a routine wax syringing. I was at the doctor's for a completely different reason, having crushed my pinky at the gym. They can't fix either and my finger needs surgery, which can't happen until next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1748

You deserved it

105

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By CrawlingUnderARock

Today, I discovered that a company has been using a photo of me for one of those "she lost 50 pounds" online ads. I'm the "before" photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3199

You deserved it

353

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By Leftattheairport

Today, I went to pick up my long distance boyfriend at the airport. It has been over six months since I last saw him and four days since I last heard from him. He never showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2551

You deserved it

300

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By Anonymous - 2/9/2020 23:01

Running late

Today, my in-laws missed a special event for my newborn child because they were running an hour late. They always run late and always think its funny. After 15 years, it's just not funny anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1379

You deserved it

171

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By Great... - United States

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48388

You deserved it

5638

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By young grandpa - United States - Statham

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65972

You deserved it

40681

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By UHM - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56124

You deserved it

4000

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Tacoma

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42012

You deserved it

3411

Favorite

By mrsimintrouble - United States - Redding

Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16655

You deserved it

2335

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By Asshole hornet - United States - Marblehead

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44261

You deserved it

3461

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By burntloyalty - United States

Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32115

You deserved it

3177

Favorite

By frozensolid - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44136

You deserved it

3215

Favorite

By paris78 - Canada

Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37800

You deserved it

4126

Favorite

By thisbethed - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss made up a rumor that I was quitting my job so I wouldn't get the promotion that was coming up. There goes that raise I've been wanting for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24838

You deserved it

1506

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By Malarky - United States

Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15078

You deserved it

1205

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By ZittyMii - United States

Today, a friend of mine had a Wii party and made everyone into Miis. My Mii had freckles. I don't have freckles. When I commented on it, she said, "Well, there isn't a zit feature." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43355

You deserved it

6075

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of almost 6 years has put me in debt over $33,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44216

You deserved it

17169

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By station - United States

Today, I was walking out of the train station when an old man grabbed me. I started screaming, yelling, "HELP" like a madwoman and tried pushing him away - that's when I saw the golf cart rush past me. He was trying to push me aside from getting run over. Everyone started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14858

You deserved it

56890

Favorite

By jobsearching - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24634

You deserved it

4648

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By E or - United States

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12842

You deserved it

40118

Favorite

By humiliated - United Kingdom

Today, a friend asked me to come with her to the art building at school, so I could pose in the stance of a figure she was drawing for her exam. I obliged and sat for the pose. When the art teacher walked by she looked at me, then at the sketch, pointed to the legs and said, "make them fatter". FML

I agree, your life sucks

28816

You deserved it

4332

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By ohsnap - Australia

Today, I took my car through the car wash. I got bored, so turned the radio on, forgetting that the aerial/antenna on the car is automatic. My car aerial is now bent at a 90 degree angle and about to fall off. The radio is half white noise, half stuff that may or may not be free jazz jam sessions. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8658

You deserved it

35195

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By "Sonofaquiche"

No Ragerts

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up in the hospital with a broken coccyx. Apparently, my drunk self came to the glorious conclusion that it would be a good idea to cannonball into a puddle while screaming "POOLPARTYYYY!" at the top of my lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3066

You deserved it

5570

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that, because i'm a student, the employees I train make more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33056

You deserved it

2359

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By dammit hearing aid - United States - Wallingford

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42745

You deserved it

22161

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32194

You deserved it

4191

Favorite

By Ugh - United States

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52343

You deserved it

7023

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By tori210

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3364

You deserved it

666

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By Anonymous - United States - Springfield

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27256

You deserved it

2125

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By Uh_Oh_Bro - United States - Annandale

Today, my family, grandma included, took some time to discuss whether or not olive oil is a suitable substitute for lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16486

You deserved it

1943

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By nepotwatism @ its finest - Sweden - Halmstad

Today, my boss told me I have to start work 4 hours early tomorrow, because that my coworker, who happens to be his son, will not be coming in because he's "too tired". I work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week without complaining. His son works two 4-hour shifts a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26464

You deserved it

1786

Favorite

By yikesss

Today my boyfriend told me that dirty talk with me was like potty training a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2779

You deserved it

413

Favorite

By Pimaan - United States

Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22682

You deserved it

35793

Favorite

By Anonymous - France - Issy-les-moulineaux

Today, I had a heart attack. In the hospital the doctor compared my heart to that of a stressed out 60 year-old's. I'm 17 and I don't even have a job yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24071

You deserved it

1920

Favorite

By notabadserver - Canada - Toronto

Today, the head chef at work yelled at me for not knowing the difference between two sauces. I couldn't win the argument, even after a coworker admitted to filling both bottles with the same sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20984

You deserved it

1306

Favorite

By forever damaged - United States - Wallkill

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21601

You deserved it

1615

Favorite

By Screwed - United States

Today, I went to see my guidance counselor. I was supposed to hear from my college about a scholarship by October 3rd. I was worried since it was already the 2nd so I went to talk to her. She never turned in my nomination. Goodbye $80,000 scholarship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53861

You deserved it

3123

Favorite

By RB84

Today I got a call from my daughter's school, because she claimed that she couldn't see out of her right eye. I panicked and went to pick her up. On the way to the emergency room, she turns to me and says, "I'm fine. I didn't want to take a test." FML

I agree, your life sucks

5596

You deserved it

607

Favorite

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Top comments

By SteelSoul5 | 9

#7532423 - Tuesday 22 August 2017 3:46

Coward

By RichardPencil | 28

#7536399 - Friday 1 September 2017 15:59

You didn’t think there were problems before you left?

A man cleaning for two days should cause alarm bells to go off!

COMMENTS

By SteelSoul5 | 9

#7532423 - Tuesday 22 August 2017 3:46

Coward

By davecross | 11

#7536358 - Friday 1 September 2017 14:06

Why do people have to be sneaky like that. If he wanted to break up he should have just told you to you face. Yes it might hurt but at least he was honest. However The only exception for someone sneaking out of a relationship is if you SO is abusive towards you

By PennyLane27 | 32

#7536383 - Friday 1 September 2017 15:29

Relationships are complicated. It's entirely possible the guy thought this was his only option, and it very well may have been. Or he sucks as a person. Or maybe the truth is somewhere between. It's not something we will ever know.