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Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

#1701817
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20205) - you deserved it (66134)

On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML

#20613766
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20203) - you deserved it (69566)

On 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm - love - by Out from Hell (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

#10761245
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20202) - you deserved it (35719)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I re-broke my leg. The same way I broke it the first time, playing frisbee. FML

#18344372
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20201) - you deserved it (12313)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:44am - health - by Sammy - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML

#14069245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20200) - you deserved it (11579)

On 12/03/2010 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML

#20132061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20200) - you deserved it (1272)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:44pm - health - by illjustlimpthen (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20200) - you deserved it (2531)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

#6707808
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20198) - you deserved it (3641)

On 12/11/2009 at 11:44am - intimacy - by ps3isbetterthanme (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, while on trial for a desperately needed new job, I tripped crossing a road with my would-be manager. I twisted my ankle, and he had to carry me across the road and call a taxi for me to go home. FML

#19243809
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20197) - you deserved it (2390)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:48am - work - by Katie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my kids thought it would be funny to put pictures of naked men and women as people's ID on my phone. They won't tell me how to change it back. FML

#11305876
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20196) - you deserved it (27299)

On 06/19/2010 at 3:47am - kids - by Momma - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

#17402357
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20193) - you deserved it (2454)

On 08/08/2011 at 12:07am - work - by a-mishunderstanding -

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20191) - you deserved it (1606)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, I got up on stage excited to recite a spoken word piece that I worked on and memorized for about 20 hours, neglecting other obligations like studying for an exam the next day. I blanked out in the middle of the performance in front of hundreds of people. FML

#8962343
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20191) - you deserved it (6267)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by KJS (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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