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Today, I was at the gym and as I was pulling out my earphones and getting off my treadmill, I heard the girl behind me say to her friend on the treadmill next to her, "Wow, there have no cute guys today." Her friend replied, "None at all. It's like everyone suddenly got gay or ugly." FML

#2709
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25307) - you deserved it (2171)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Rothaar - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

#21510678
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25306) - you deserved it (22344)

On 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

#7390667
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25305) - you deserved it (5954)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:30am - intimacy - by writer4life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my supervisor forced me to bring the image of a failed simulation to the group meeting, because he thought it looked funny. So did the others and it's now going on our webpage. I have to provide a scientific description of how I made a mistake in my code. FML

#21393415
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25304) - you deserved it (2657)

On 04/14/2015 at 7:50am - work - by OptMouse (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

#18184831
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25303) - you deserved it (5582)

On 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is a full-on, wants-to-be-banged-by-a-horse furry. FML

#21503215
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25305) - you deserved it (3006)

On 12/13/2015 at 6:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML

#18271256
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25301) - you deserved it (2243)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:43am - misc - by leaf hater - United States

Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML

#19530940
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25299) - you deserved it (4205)

On 04/26/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by somefamily (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

#19998370
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25298) - you deserved it (2230)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm - misc - by skrillexblewme - United States

Today, while working in a jail, I had to tell an inmate arrested for domestic violence that no, he could not use his phone call to call me at home. FML

#17892282
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25296) - you deserved it (2148)

On 10/02/2011 at 11:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML

#19686709
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25296) - you deserved it (1781)

On 05/27/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by shadow1248 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

#19653798
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25295) - you deserved it (1892)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my coworker was talking to me about how there's always that one person in a group of friends that everyone secretly dislikes and laughs at. I realized that person is me. FML

#19434317
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25294) - you deserved it (2853)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Foreveralone (woman) - United States



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