Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (1685)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (38221)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that what I thought could be a life-threatening issue causing me chest pains was only because I over-obsessed about it. Now not only do I have social anxiety, but I get so anxious I can create fake illnesses. FML

#18314342
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20771) - you deserved it (5797)

On 11/22/2011 at 3:08am - health - by daybyday - Australia

Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

#19673245
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20771) - you deserved it (4215)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, at my job at the mall, our music malfunctioned and now will only play the same three songs over and over again. Our manager won't let us turn it off because "the customers won't notice". FML

#20031862
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20769) - you deserved it (1470)

On 08/20/2012 at 12:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML

#19509348
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20767) - you deserved it (3953)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:24am - health - by Andrew7847 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

#814
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20766) - you deserved it (2078)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by neoteck - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of 2 years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I am cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#6908981
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20766) - you deserved it (3689)

On 12/23/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by everybodysfool (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that I hadn't seen my video camera in a while. After searching for several minutes in my room, I remembered that I had given it to my dad to hide before our month long trip (so even if someone broke into the house the video camera would be safe). He's forgotten where he hid it. FML

#12715799
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20765) - you deserved it (8467)

On 08/24/2010 at 3:25am - misc - by lostvideo - Israel (Yerushalayim)

Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said "nah". FML

#19288691
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20765) - you deserved it (2057)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:24pm - health - by jarv49 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20764) - you deserved it (2864)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20763) - you deserved it (52472)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: