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The all-time greatest FMLs

Doghouse

By Anonymous - 04/11/2023 04:00

Today, stressed to the point of breakdown over my impending daughter's birth, I went to a small church. After a long talk with the pastor, I finally began to feel some calm and peace. Too bad my wife flipped out, accused me of wanting to make her a "handmaid" and made me sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 175

Touchy subject

By Anonymous - 11/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I had a huge fight and he stormed out, all because I told him that now that as he's no longer in the military and we're not moving around anymore, I want to stop homeschooling our kids and put them in regular school. He refused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 104

Or run?

By Anonymous - 22/12/2023 15:00 - Australia

Today, I booked my car in for a service, with the intention of taking the courtesy bus to work. I got there at 8:45am, and the receptionist told me the courtesy bus was 10 minutes away. Work is 1.5km away, so I told my boss that I might be a couple of minutes late. Fifty minutes later, the bus came. I should've walked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 165

Face reality

By Anonymous - 13/11/2020 17:02

Today, I realized I'm so lonely I would rather pretend I don't know I'm being cheated on than leave. We've been together a year and he's my virtual boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 957

Dang!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband allowed his 16-year-old daughter to get married. Every single objection and concern I had, they ignored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 83

FML's Showdown #11

By Louis - 31/05/2017 17:25

Another chance for you to pick your winner of the week. So, who does it for you?

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 22:00

Today, I needed to call my mom to get some info so I dialled the number on my work phone. Not 2 seconds after, my cellphone rang. I got super pissed off because I hate when people call me on my cell at work. It was me. I'd dialled my own number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 2 401

Don't panic!

By Anonymous - 19/07/2023 15:00

Today, I had a meeting with our partner company from Japan. I was instructed beforehand on bowing but when the time came I panicked, stood way too close, and headbutted their boss in the boobs. I was “politely” asked to leave the meeting. I’m so embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 779

The spark is gone

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Orange Park

Today, my husband of 16 years had to force himself to be intimate with me. In his words, not because he’s not attracted to me but because he no longer has emotions or feelings towards me. I’m still deeply in love and had to force intimacy because now I feel like I’m just a means to an end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 10/06/2009 13:12 - United States

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 51

Am I the only one?

By Anonymous - 22/02/2025 22:00 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, all my coworkers are incompetent and I'm constantly fixing their mistakes. I've tried to help them to make fewer mistakes. They don't care. I've tried talking to their supervisors. They don't care either. I've been escalating matters step by step. I finally talked to the CEO about it. He doesn't care either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 150

Infectious

By Looupyloou - 07/01/2026 12:00

Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 79

Show some empathy

By Anonymous - 05/02/2023 22:00 - United States - Eagle Mountain

Today, and for the past 3 days, my sister has been whining and crying about her “breakup” with her “boyfriend”. It’s the most annoying thing ever and I haven’t been able to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 657

Coach Class

By GetFuzzy - 18/10/2019 12:00

Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 2 089

How could you?

By Not a cheater - 04/01/2026 15:00

Today, I was looking over reservations for an upcoming work trip, and saw that my work would cover the "romance package" at a nice hotel. I laughed. My coworkers laughed. When I told my wife, not only did she not laugh, she burst into tears and screamed, "I knew you were cheating!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 118

Thanks for that, whoever you are

By Anonymous - 17/09/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised that somewhere out there someone has written my phone number on a pub bathroom wall, because now every couple of days or weeks I get random calls from heavy breathing pervs, or from guys wanting to know if I’m available, and how much I charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 86

Average

By Believe what you want to believe, I was there - 27/02/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I found out that, despite my above average performance in school, I was right in the middle of my class ranking at graduation. My school stated that your respect for others would affect your ranking, but the fact that nearly all of the people who placed above me were gigantic pricks says otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 160

Clomping hell

By Anonymous - 25/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 102

Twists and turns

By Anonymous - 12/12/2024 00:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and started crying, begging me to never break up with her, only for her to say 10 minutes later, "I don’t wanna be with you anymore." Then she asked me if she could buy me some pot, and, "Let’s watch movies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 123

Massive

By Anonymous - 28/10/2023 00:02 - Belgium

Today, I had my 28-week ultrasound. Baby is doing well, but has clearly inherited his/her father's growth genetics and currently measures at the 96th percentile. I'm a tiny woman (pre-pregnancy 105lbs). I'm screwed for the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 153

Wrecks 4 U

By mustanggt - 29/02/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to look at a used car I was really looking forward to driving. It wasn't in as good condition as I'd hoped. The seller still expected me to buy it, even after he had to spray in half a can of Oklahoma Choke octane booster just to get it to fire up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 92

Another addiction bites the dust

By Anonymous - 14/04/2026 15:00 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I caught my boyfriend messaging flirty texts with one of the nurses who cared for him while he was in inpatient rehabilitation at the VA Medical Center for alcohol abuse. Not to mention he is back drinking daily. I suck at relationships. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 87

Get on with it

By Not PMS, she's just a mega bitch - 08/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, at my son's soccer game, I tried to give him a bottle of Gatorade, but the top was damp with condensation and I couldn't get a grip. I wiped it dry and tried again, successfully this time. No big deal, except my wife was watching and screamed, "IT SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG!" Everyone stopped and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 81

I'm not going back

By Anonymous - 07/01/2024 15:00 - United States - Hammonton

Today, despite having pretty bad social anxiety and clinical depression, and hardly ever leaving the house, I spent an hour and a half at a store figuring out what size pants I am. They just cancelled my order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 174

Best seat in the house

By Rachey - 10/09/2024 00:00 - Ireland

Today, I was using the toilet at a friend's house when the toilet made a strange gurgling noise. Thinking it was just old plumbing, I flushed. The water started rising... and rising. Before I knew it, water, and whatever was in the toilet, began overflowing and flooding the bathroom. I had to go ask for help, and a mop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 130

Mother knows best

By ninithel - 25/11/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I have fibromyalgia and ADHD. I either have no energy, no focus, or no energy for anything, or I burn out trying to do everything. Meanwhile, my mother is adamant that I can be "cured" if I stop eating sugar. I'm allergic to most sweeteners and she won't believe me, and thinks she knows better than my doc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 125

Same shit, different year

By 475pies - 01/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, me and my friend were walking down our school hallway, only to be pushed down by the bully group. I got up and smacked them in the face with my lunchbox. I then got ISS. Middle school sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 107

By James - 18/02/2014 16:38 - Denmark

Today, there was a snowstorm in Denmark. I had a job interview, but because of the weather, the buses were delayed, and I had to wait more than an hour in the freezing cold. When I finally got there, I was told the person I was supposed to talk to hadn't been able to make it in today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 38

The others were too polite

By #MeDD - 04/02/2023 02:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I caught my cousin's husband ogling me at a party. I decided to talk to him, but each time he'd avoid me. Eventually I confronted him about staring at me; he then pointed at the front of my dress, my nipple had slightly snuck out of my low-cut dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 1 920

Reminder

By Anonymous - 21/11/2023 10:00 - Australia - Wacol

Today, I was running a D&D game. I invited my nephew to come along to try and distract him, as his brother took his life two weeks ago. Stupidly, I had only skimmed through the module I was running (as I run multiple) and didn't realise that today's session involved gallows. Guess how his brother took his life? FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 330

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The Top

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 383

You deserved it 10 944

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 923

You deserved it 3 699

Today, after a long series of tests, I found out that I’m sterile. My wife is currently pregnant with our second child. I think I have some questions for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 567

You deserved it 507

Today, I spent all day watching sad cat adoption/rescue videos on Instagram and now I'm bummed out thinking about how mine are going to die within my lifetime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 586

Today, I went to prom with my two friends. I was ditched by my prom date because he had “other plans.” The weird thing is that when we got to the prom location, I saw him with another date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 104

Today, after days of hearing our new neighbour abusing his wife, my wife went round to confront him while on the phone with the police. Turns out they are just really into their BDSM and had no idea how loud they were being. They have costumes, toys and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 199