Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on webcam for the first time with a guy I've been texting for a while. Trying to show off my guitar skills, I lean down to pick it up and fell on my face. FML

#11894871
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10809) - you deserved it (22370)

On 07/15/2010 at 5:17am - misc - by ditsy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have no cell phone reception as I am visiting family who lives on the side of a mountain. They told me there was service on top of the mountain, so I hiked up. Only when I got there did I realize I'd left my phone back down at the house. FML

#15342486
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10804) - you deserved it (38969)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:25pm - misc - by nooooo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML

#14534299
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10800) - you deserved it (36797)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML

#20094767
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10795) - you deserved it (21269)

On 09/30/2012 at 5:30am - love - by BeforeItWasCool - United Kingdom

Today, I rolled down the windows in my car. When I tried to roll up the passenger side window, it was stuck. Rain was coming so I freaked out and brought it to the dealership to get it fixed. The man pushed the child safety lock button and the entire garage erupted in laughter. FML

#1525819
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10793) - you deserved it (55298)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by KMilly (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

#6792235
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10782) - you deserved it (43858)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

#19936379
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10781) - you deserved it (25896)

On 07/14/2012 at 7:15am - intimacy - by zstarr - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a speeding ticket while taking my drivers license test. FML

Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML

#18320806
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10776) - you deserved it (40305)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anon - United States

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

#150971
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10773) - you deserved it (65787)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10766) - you deserved it (39137)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I went to a restaurant and only brought $14 with me to eat. I ordered and ate my meal, then went to the counter to pay for it. I threw $2 into the tip jar then got my bill. My bill was $13.86. I had to reach into the tip jar and take my $2 back so I could pay for my meal. FML

#3046159
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10764) - you deserved it (47712)

On 06/19/2009 at 11:17pm - money - by pinkplasticjesus (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML

#18106898
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10762) - you deserved it (27981)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Messiahman - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: