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Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

#19557716
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21676) - you deserved it (4506)

On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21673) - you deserved it (2420)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, I got a phone call to say my workplace was closed due to extreme weather conditions. Looking forward to my day off, I then realised the boiler was broken and my house has no heating despite there being a foot of snow outside. I'm spending the day in bed, wearing all my clothes. FML

#14056673
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21673) - you deserved it (2529)

On 12/02/2010 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML

#20045057
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21672) - you deserved it (2269) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

#155544
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21673) - you deserved it (42331)

On 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by bojangles (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21671) - you deserved it (7072)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

#18098889
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21670) - you deserved it (9606)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by ricksterile - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to admit to everyone, including my cable guy, that I'm moving back in with my parents. FML

#12313320
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21669) - you deserved it (8867)

On 08/04/2010 at 5:08pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML

#1513327
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21668) - you deserved it (51448)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by kam3221 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my grandpa came over to help paint our house, as we are renovating it. The only paint clothes he decided to wear were his underpants. The neighbours and builders found this quite amusing. FML

#14706670
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21667) - you deserved it (2570)

On 01/25/2011 at 4:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend asked me to marry him because he could get a tax cut from buying the ring. All of this happened in front of his mother. FML

#7804669
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21666) - you deserved it (2040)

On 02/02/2010 at 1:20am - love - by engagedmaybe (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

#15738282
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21666) - you deserved it (69743)

On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)



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