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Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML

#30362
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10649) - you deserved it (31907)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by KWM (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn't think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn't shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML

#16824027
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10645) - you deserved it (31503)

On 06/23/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by gypsy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked ten miles to pick up my car from the towing station. Turns out there was enough change for the parking meter in the glovebox after all. FML

#15099296
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10636) - you deserved it (21118)

On 02/24/2011 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

#17439919
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10636) - you deserved it (29372)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML

#19232371
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10636) - you deserved it (40812)

On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)

Today, stepping on a scale for the first time in years, I had to lift up my stomach to see the number. FML

#18520794
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10635) - you deserved it (36499)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:52pm - health - by ms piggy - United States

Today, I received the results of the exams that I re-took in order to improve my grades. I got exactly the same grades as before in all four exams. Point for point identical. FML

#19237669
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10635) - you deserved it (13562)

On 03/08/2012 at 3:06am - work - by stuckonrepeat (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my roommate brought a kitten to the apartment. I hate cats, and probably sensing this, the thing clawed me right in the crotch. I of course am not going to say a thing because I happen to be in love with my roommate, but she has no clue how much I hate this thing. FML

#8621697
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10632) - you deserved it (21608)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:29pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I accidentally called my cute boss "babe." I now have to pretend it's what I call everyone, and start calling all my coworkers "babe." FML

#18508459
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10632) - you deserved it (20883)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:18am - work - by Shelly - United States (California)

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

#16189059
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10631) - you deserved it (22370)

On 05/15/2011 at 2:49pm - misc - by NoLife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

#8890644
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10622) - you deserved it (19076)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

#20440379
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10622) - you deserved it (38787)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML

#5128591
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10618) - you deserved it (32483)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:32pm - misc - by NoMoreHeadphones (woman) - United States (New York)



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