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Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

#20200774
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21096) - you deserved it (1939)

On 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by JPPUDLY (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

#2742
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21093) - you deserved it (6752)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by CaptainSosuke - United States (California)

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

#19586827
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21093) - you deserved it (3426)

On 05/07/2012 at 11:57am - work - by notrocketscience (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML

#2499784
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21090) - you deserved it (61427)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by sweet_02 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was ‘This is less work and less involving.’ FML

#9100047
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21088) - you deserved it (4422)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, for an eight hour flight to Copenhagen, Denmark, I paid extra to get a seat offering more leg room. Unfortunately, the man behind me was so tall, his knees were pressing against my back the entire flight. FML

#14600562
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21090) - you deserved it (3298)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:17pm - money - by jetlagged (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21088) - you deserved it (2795)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

#19641486
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21087) - you deserved it (4694)

On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated... I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

#6705319
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21084) - you deserved it (7676)

On 12/11/2009 at 2:50am - health - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

#20397555
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21083) - you deserved it (2716)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:01am - love - by Hit-and-Run - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21082) - you deserved it (3300)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

#17962852
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21078) - you deserved it (2037)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by frigid - (Alberta)



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