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Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

#8819717
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20110) - you deserved it (5225)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML

#19312067
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20111) - you deserved it (6191)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:49am - love - by notsober - United States

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "F*ck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

#19775442
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20110) - you deserved it (7373)

On 06/12/2012 at 6:34am - misc - by perfectman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

#4209
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20109) - you deserved it (6974)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by helloworld92 - United States (Ohio)

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20109) - you deserved it (1520)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband's daughter told us that she's 5 months pregnant. I'm going to be a step grandmother and I'm only 23 years old. FML

#6001127
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20108) - you deserved it (44598)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:27am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

#20026624
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20103) - you deserved it (2000)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by CollegeBound (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20102) - you deserved it (47851)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, after finishing my second glass of wine, I walked out of the bathroom and saw the tag on my hair dryer from last year's rehab visit. FML

#21329685
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20101) - you deserved it (13995)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:04pm - health - by mosaicevolution (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20099) - you deserved it (34167)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

#4299524
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20099) - you deserved it (41327)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I blacked out at a wedding as a bridesmaid, during the service. FML

#19550881
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20099) - you deserved it (3578)

On 04/29/2012 at 10:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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