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Today, my guidance counselor told me that I did a really good job playing someone who was really airheaded in my school's play. I wasn't trying to act like an airhead, the director told me that I got cast for the part because the character I was playing was "just like me". FML

#6182912
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22770) - you deserved it (6137)

On 11/06/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Airhead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML

#19172113
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22770) - you deserved it (4136)

On 02/27/2012 at 12:12am - love - by SwimminginSweat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML

#21300014
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/16/2014 at 3:35am - health - by FlyLikeABird - United States (California)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (1376)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22762) - you deserved it (4126)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, trying to make a good impression and be helpful, I volunteered to look after my manager's cat while she moves house. The cat hasn't stopped meowing since he got here this evening, it's now 4 am and I have work in the morning. FML

#17064042
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22762) - you deserved it (6176)

On 07/11/2011 at 6:53am - work - by leahneedssleep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw a picture of me from a night of drinking that surprisingly looked really really good. I showed my boyfriend and he agreed with me. Then he added, "What's funny is it looks nothing like you!" FML

#7215192
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22760) - you deserved it (3457)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

#16451971
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22759) - you deserved it (59067)

On 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22758) - you deserved it (2324)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was kicked out of my review lecture at community college, for "being a disturbance and refusing to stop whistling." I wasn't even given a chance to explain that I have a cold. FML

#19382867
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22758) - you deserved it (2279)

On 03/31/2012 at 2:53pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I gave my two weeks notice at work. My boss sighed with relief and muttered, "Thank God." FML

#13433715
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (5950)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (9911)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML

#14531234
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (3350)

On 01/10/2011 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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