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Today, I removed all my online dating profiles. Apparently my ex-husband finds stalking me online preferable to spending time with his new girlfriend. FML

#13270090
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25260) - you deserved it (2852)

On 09/30/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

#21398063
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25260) - you deserved it (2056)

On 04/22/2015 at 5:46pm - health - by biomajor99 - United States (New York)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25259) - you deserved it (2556)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received a letter saying that I was accepted into university and that I qualified for a number of scholarships. Too bad an equivalent sum of money will be spent fixing the car I hit, after spinning out on ice, whilst driving home from said university. FML

#7413035
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25258) - you deserved it (4638)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by trooper93 (man) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25257) - you deserved it (3360)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

#10838070
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25256) - you deserved it (6310)

On 05/29/2010 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, a customer complained about me for getting their order wrong. This would have been fine if they hadn't sent their ten-year-old kid to order for them. FML

#21433513
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25256) - you deserved it (1751)

On 06/28/2015 at 9:59pm - work - by CaptainFluffyPaw (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a ticket for "suspicious driving" because my total shit of a mother kept tugging on the wheel to annoy me, and I still had to pay it. FML

#21451593
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25256) - you deserved it (1888)

On 08/04/2015 at 12:23am - misc - by MomStayOutOfTheCar - United States

Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML

#2261901
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25253) - you deserved it (56008)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by ninjawhat1337 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as I was buying carrots, a little red light started flashing and an alarm sounded. Curious, I looked up, only to get sprayed in the face by a sprinkler for the produce section of the store. FML

#11991356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25253) - you deserved it (9117)

On 07/19/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by PrintMaster - United States

Today, a phone I bought online turned up while I was at work. The delivery guy left a note saying he'd left the package with my neighbor at #10. When I went and knocked on the door and asked for the package, my neighbor said "Nope, nothing delivered here." and quickly shut the door in my face. FML

#21464726
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25254) - you deserved it (1858)

On 09/04/2015 at 11:53pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

#18898180
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25251) - you deserved it (3922)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:42am - work - by communistgirl (woman) - United States

Today, I'm in Mexico and am supposed to be skydiving for my Christmas gift. Instead, I'm coming out of the hospital with x-rays, an ankle splint, and a $800 bill because I fell on the bottom step of a flight of stairs. FML

#7145506
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25249) - you deserved it (3791)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:52pm - health - by Wally (man) - Mexico



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