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The all-time greatest FMLs

It's a cult

By Anonymous - 04/04/2026 12:00

Today, my wife decided to take from our savings and donate £500 to the church “for the starving people.” I wasn’t aware crooked priests were starving but hey ho, now she’s mad at me I cancelled the cheque since I would like to retire before I’m 80. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 134

Safe sex

By avoiding preggers - 17/12/2024 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I saw my roommate walk out of his room into the kitchen with a used condom in his hand, and plop it into the garbage disposal. "I don't really trust this girl" is all he said before he opened his door and walked back into his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 150

Boundaries

By Mom stop plz - 23/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom has a habit of trying to pull out what she thinks are loose hairs in my beard. My beard hairs are actually just really, really long, not falling off. She'll confidently yank one that she thinks isn't attached, causing a sharp pain until she realizes it's attached. I don't know how to make her stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 161

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 24/02/2024 20:00 - Greece - Athens

Today, I thought I knew what sexual frustration was in my teens, but that was nothing compared to a (due to circumstances, but still) sexless married life, in a shitty economy. I'm so tense, I could tear down a wall with my bare hands right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 173

Bitter

By jon - 12/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend, who disliked the music I listened to and made, is now dating some womanizing party promoter who promotes music of the same genre of music I make. Now she’s all about it, including rocking the image. Who knew ghosting cheaters wanted everything about you, except for you… FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 141

Power shortage

By Anonymous - 14/11/2024 15:00 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, on vacation with family, the power goes off in the middle of the night. I wake up as the A/C starts dripping on my head. No air, wet pillow, can't sleep, but I decide to tough it out until morning rather than wake everyone. In the morning, I discovered my sister had hit the breaker because she couldn't find the light switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 100

Jailbird

By Anonymous - 06/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I asked my foster parents to adopt me. They said no because my dad's getting out of prison soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 51

Sneaking around

By Anonymous - 24/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Elkton

Today, and as of late, my girlfriend of 6 months has been getting distant with me, but reassures me that she still loves me. I found out she was hanging out with her ex-girlfriend of two years. They even went out to dinner, and she didn't tell me. I was planning on taking her out tonight too, and I only found out because my friend ran into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 133

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 14/06/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have such poor joints that I dislocated my hip trying to twist to wipe my own ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 86

Treat yourself

By dixie - 12/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my unemployed-for-a-decade husband is out buying new dress shoes while I'm struggle to pay for the household bills and food all by myself. He can’t understand why I’m irritated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 167

Which way now?

By Nadia - 03/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, it's been two years since my fiancé proposed, drunk, and with no ring. Recently, I overheard him on a Zoom call with a work colleague who'd not talked to him since he was with his last girlfriend, who was much more attractive than I am. The colleague asked if they were still together and he lied and said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 132

Standing to attention

By Anonymous - 27/04/2022 02:00

Today, I told my girlfriend that for whatever reason I find it really difficult to orgasm stood up in the shower, she immediately demanded sex in the shower on the basis that without my orgasm maybe I’ll finally last long enough for her to orgasm first, or even at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 2 214

Busted

By Carei - 26/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me that because they found dildos, a rose toy, and condoms in my bedroom, I’m not getting a car for graduation anymore. Also, I have 30 days from my 18th birthday to “find an apartment or something” and “get the hell out” since I’m "such a grown up now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 283

A change is as good as rest

By Anonymous - 12/01/2024 10:00 - Sweden

Today, I had awesome sex with my ex. Again. I broke up with her a few weeks ago as she admittedly hadn't been attracted to me anymore in a long time. Now she says that after we broke up she doesn't feel any pressure anymore, and can enjoy sex with me again like she did before she moved in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 221

Skeptic

By Anonymous - 02/06/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son told me not to be silly, because things like the Tooth Fairy and Santa don’t exist. He’s three years old. I guess we’ll just skip all the magical moments of his childhood I was looking forward to, and start the process of turning him into a soulless adult who doesn’t know how to have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 263

By Boulette - 23/06/2014 05:44 - France - Dammartin-en-go?le

Today, I was on vacation, when a very cute guy starting talking to me and asked me what my name was. Overwhelmed and stressed out, I blurted out that I didn't have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 105

Suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since one of my roommates moved out. Despite me telling the postal service he no longer lives here, they're still knocking on my door almost every day with urgent letters addressed to him. I have no idea where he lives now, and am wondering what the fuck he was up to here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 79

Judgemental much?

By Anonymous - 27/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, no matter how well we tried to raise out daughter, things aren't looking too bright. I was present, I listened, and she told me her problems. My husband was always there for her too, no matter what. She works and studies but her role models consist of celebrities and girls who sell themselves on OnlyFans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 217

Leaked

By Anonymous - 16/01/2023 10:00

Today, I had morning sex before I had to rush to work, and everything decided to leak out of me over an hour later into my underwear. I quickly rinsed them in the bathroom and put them back on, only the wet patch then soaked into my pants when I sat down, so it looked like I’d majorly peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 1 424

By mylifesucks - 30/08/2009 16:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 43

Everybody want to drool the world

By slapstick1982 - 10/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was having sex with my wife, doggy-style. She then got mad at me for coming on her back. I didn’t have the balls to tell her that was drool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 1 238

Here's how I feel…

By Anonymous - 02/08/2024 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I love my parents, but I'm culturally obliged to support them. However, I always feel sad because I can't purchase and pursue what I want, because my finances will suffer. I feel like I cannot enjoy my life to the fullest. They think I have money all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 125

Supermarket sweep

By Anonymous - 20/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was using self-checkout at the grocery store, and the machine flipped out and started randomly announcing, "Please wait for assistance." No one came to help, but the machine just kept loudly repeating it until everyone stared at me like I was trying to steal grapes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 22/09/2010 01:31 - United States

Today, at work I was bored so I started to doodle on MS paint. My boss walks by and asks me to join him in his office. When I do so, he fires me for drawing offensive material. I drew a rainbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 79

By Owned - 25/03/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 63

The Brian Harvey

By Yougotmail - 17/07/2022 06:00

Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 670

Let me sleep

By jadei - 06/11/2023 09:00

Today, it's been a week since my dad told me I’m no longer allowed to put my phone on do not disturb when I sleep, and a scam caller woke me up at 7 am. I’ve had a serious migraine ever since because waking up early triggers my migraines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 148

Thanksgiving? I hate it!

By Philomena - 28/11/2024 14:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, it's Thanksgiving and I've spent the last few days imploring my husband not to antagonize my Trump-loving family by talking about the fact that they didn't look into what tariffs were at the time, and now they might have to close their business. Wish me luck… FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 275

Wrong way down a one way strrreeeeet

By WrongTrainGuy - 27/05/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I took the wrong train and didn’t realise it until it arrived in Aberdeen. Eight hours from where I was meant to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 973

No sleep til colon!

By Anonymous - 23/07/2024 14:00 - United States - Duluth

Today, after I lost my job because my position was eliminated last Friday, I'm in such a state of fear about losing my home, and having to re-home my animals (who are my children) that I haven't been able to sleep most of the week. My only hope for rest comes Monday, when I have my first colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 156

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The Top

Today, I found out that my mother has been pretending that I'm a woman so that she doesn't have to tell her colleagues that she has a gay son. Apparently this has been going on for the past four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 832

You deserved it 1 002

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 696

You deserved it 22 552

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 1 176

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 313

You deserved it 14 362

Today, I couldn't bring up a close friend from college in a conversation without my mom bashing her for over ten minutes. She does this with practically all my close female friends. I suspect she subconsciously doesn't want any girl to steal her son away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 88

Today, my girlfriend finally showed me the porn she likes to watch. Amputees were involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 269