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Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21820) - you deserved it (3198)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML

#19110438
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21818) - you deserved it (4390)

On 02/18/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by mandy_2480 - China

Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML

#19271191
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21819) - you deserved it (2525)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Samantha - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the bank to get a temporary debit card since I lost my wallet a week ago. On my drive across the street from the bank to the DMV a car slammed into mine at the intersection, nearly totaling my car. The movie theater I went to last week just called and said they'd found my wallet. FML

#13957675
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (3053)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I finished working a week's overtime managing admin, stock, finances, and three members of staff. I realised that despite all my extra work, I actually earn less per hour than the students who only work on the weekends. FML

#14600625
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (2417)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by ovawerkrd - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML

#18561191
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (4999)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

#20051346
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21812) - you deserved it (4336)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML

#12999692
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21812) - you deserved it (3127)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:19am - misc - by ~JESSICA~ - United States

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

#20148569
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21808) - you deserved it (1836)

On 11/05/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go to the bathroom. He said "Okay baby, go drop your load." He also used the same voice as when he talks to his cat. FML

#13257198
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21807) - you deserved it (4062)

On 09/29/2010 at 11:17pm - animals - by peepee. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML

#19467974
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21806) - you deserved it (2450)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:19pm - kids - by Rory - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML

#20788837
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21806) - you deserved it (38114)

On 07/17/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by igotsbadluck - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that the man who offered to put up the woman I love in exchange for me helping out with his rent, has in fact been her "other" boyfriend since before she moved in. FML

#17706301
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (3843)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:48pm - love - by Just me (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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