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Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

#20092583
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20380) - you deserved it (7575)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by GEE, THANKS DAD (woman) - United States

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

#20174185
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20378) - you deserved it (1492)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States

Today, I sat in the train and the old lady sitting next to me stares at my face. I ask her if she is ok and she starts yelling "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?". The entire train trip went like this. FML

#593
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20376) - you deserved it (1575)

On 12/25/2008 at 5:30am - misc - by LDF - Sent from mobile version

Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML

#20160435
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20375) - you deserved it (2504)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:12pm - health - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I discovered my employer is advertising for a contractor position within my team performing basically the same role as myself. Except the pay is seven times more. FML

#8815543
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (1652)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:30am - work - by YankeeDoodle (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (3345)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

#19958598
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20371) - you deserved it (1738)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20367) - you deserved it (33743)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized if you leave a can of soda in parked car during a heatwave it will explode all over everything. My car is like a human glue trap. FML

#11895000
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20365) - you deserved it (25465)

On 07/15/2010 at 5:31am - misc - by bigmikenyc - United States

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20364) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

#12616432
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20365) - you deserved it (13377)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:10am - health - by Sleeeeeep - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML

#14740703
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20364) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/28/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by Florida_1827 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML

#7925151
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20362) - you deserved it (4997)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by Karie-Rose (woman) - United States (California)



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