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Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

#12408546
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10829) - you deserved it (47031)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML

#16925056
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10829) - you deserved it (31471)

On 06/30/2011 at 5:10pm - misc - by Nell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML

#19764261
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10827) - you deserved it (6879)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by yeyt209 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10820) - you deserved it (39852)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML

#20134119
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10816) - you deserved it (2744)

On 10/26/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

#19889661
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10814) - you deserved it (24867)

On 07/04/2012 at 5:04am - health - by magicman - United States

Today, I was on webcam for the first time with a guy I've been texting for a while. Trying to show off my guitar skills, I lean down to pick it up and fell on my face. FML

#11894871
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10808) - you deserved it (22368)

On 07/15/2010 at 5:17am - misc - by ditsy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have no cell phone reception as I am visiting family who lives on the side of a mountain. They told me there was service on top of the mountain, so I hiked up. Only when I got there did I realize I'd left my phone back down at the house. FML

#15342486
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10805) - you deserved it (38970)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:25pm - misc - by nooooo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML

#14534299
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10799) - you deserved it (36797)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML

#20094767
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10795) - you deserved it (21265)

On 09/30/2012 at 5:30am - love - by BeforeItWasCool - United Kingdom

Today, I rolled down the windows in my car. When I tried to roll up the passenger side window, it was stuck. Rain was coming so I freaked out and brought it to the dealership to get it fixed. The man pushed the child safety lock button and the entire garage erupted in laughter. FML

#1525819
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10792) - you deserved it (55297)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by KMilly (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

#6792235
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10781) - you deserved it (43855)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

#19936379
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10781) - you deserved it (25896)

On 07/14/2012 at 7:15am - intimacy - by zstarr - United States (Georgia)



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