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Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

#20146224
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22816) - you deserved it (7269)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22814) - you deserved it (8313)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

#17489
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22812) - you deserved it (5271)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by Bliss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got to listen to my younger brother have sex with a girl while I sat in my room playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night. FML

#14504771
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22812) - you deserved it (41099)

On 01/08/2011 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

#17406072
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22812) - you deserved it (3554)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

#20115984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (1528)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:29am - work - by bbbbb - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my husband really thinks onion rings are seafood. He's 36. FML

#21422504
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (2128)

On 06/07/2015 at 8:53pm - misc - by onionrings (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML

#20444550
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22811) - you deserved it (6700)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:17am - misc - by kiken.bara - United States

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

#6665165
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22807) - you deserved it (4781)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML

#19016391
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22807) - you deserved it (2021)

On 02/07/2012 at 4:27am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at work, the Disney Store. A little boy was crying so I went over to him. After talking to him for a little while I found out he couldn't find his mother. When he became comfortable I went to help him stand up, he choked back his tears and then puked all over me from the waist down. FML

#2866
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22806) - you deserved it (1756)

On 01/27/2009 at 3:02pm - work - by Ren - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

#278861
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22806) - you deserved it (73598)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)



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