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The all-time greatest FMLs

By Anonymous - 11/03/2019 22:00

Today, I organized a party at my place, invited 20 people, bought snacks and cancelled my workout. Nobody showed up. I ended up eating a whole ciabatta alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 619

You deserved it 257

By Elisa - 03/05/2017 21:00 - Brazil

Today, I was in a store and asked the sales clerk, “wow, how many months pregnant are you?” She replied, “my daughter is three years old…” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 619

You deserved it 7 300

By willkftw - 03/11/2018 13:30 - Australia - Blackburn

Today, while teaching my brother to drive on the freeway, I told him to downshift from 4th to 3rd. He went into 1st instead, blowing my engine and transmission. I can't afford to get it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 618

You deserved it 566

We were on a break!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my ex of 5 years got engaged after 5 months of us "taking a break." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 618

You deserved it 467

Those who can't do, teach... Right?

By Anonymous - 13/08/2018 14:30 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my aunt who has never had children lectured me on how childbirth isn't painful. I am pregnant with my second. I think I've got the gist of how it feels, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 618

You deserved it 178

By Barry Wom - 28/11/2018 12:00

Today, my boss is out of the office and sent me an e-mail asking me to multiply two numbers together and send her the result. Apparently she doesn't know that her smartphone has a calculator app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 618

You deserved it 196

By Anonymous - 31/08/2018 23:30 - Japan - Hirakata

Today, my dad forgot my Canadian permanent resident card. We could be stuck in an airport in Japan for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 616

You deserved it 342

By wrongman - 14/02/2018 19:00

Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 616

You deserved it 7 767

Sex ed failed a generation

By Anonymous - 16/06/2019 00:01

Today, my 16-year-old cousin told me she was "late." When I asked if she could be pregnant, she said no, because, "You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex." I ended up having to give her the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 616

You deserved it 236

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 02:00

Today, I bought a car off my aunt, then I got 7 speeding tickets. Apparently my aunt forgot to tell me the speedometer is faulty, so while I thought I was doing a safe 28 or 29 mph in the 30 zone on my way to work, I was probably doing closer to 35 or 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 615

You deserved it 442

He gets around

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 00:00

Today, I did an actual double take when my son complained about having to block the phone number of his most recent one-night stand when she got pregnant, but luckily he gave her a fake name, so he doesn’t have to delete his Facebook. How many grandkids do I have out there you little prick? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 615

You deserved it 663

By Anonymous - 14/08/2019 00:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I was arrested for a crime that happened 27 years ago. I'm only 21. FML