The Top

Hi, this is my FML. Basically after a 32 hour trip back from Australia (layovers, waiting round etc) the second I got home I put my jacket in the wash and it had the passport in the pocket. Complete my fault, just thought it would make a funny FML.

Empathy bypass

By Jason - 17/04/2020 02:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I worked up the courage to confess my bulimia to my girlfriend of three months. It's a touchy subject for me and I ended up in tears. When I was done talking, I looked up to see my girlfriend's disgusted face. She claimed I had a 'vomit fetish', said I was 'half a man' and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 560

You deserved it 668

By NotTakenYet - 05/10/2018 22:05

Today, my mom said she ran into some old coworkers and they asked about me. She was surprised they remembered me, as we only met once. The reason they remembered me is because I fell down the stairs at their house when I was 11. That was 15 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 559

You deserved it 273

YouTube drama

By chrome dome - 22/04/2021 20:01

Today, my sister put hair remover in my shampoo as a "prank" for her YouTube channel. My mom grounded her for a month, but let her keep her dumb channel because she cried and said she’d kill herself if she had to delete it. Meanwhile, it’ll take years for my hair to grow back the length it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 559

You deserved it 99

Fashion Police

By asshole - 29/04/2020 20:00

Today, I called a company to see why the dress I’d ordered for my best friend hadn’t been delivered. After doing some digging and ruining the surprise, it turns out it had been. Her boyfriend opened the package, deemed the dress "too slutty" and threw it out. He refuses to pay me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 559

You deserved it 253

By Anonymous - 01/12/2018 13:30

Today, in addition to having to deal with chronic pain that keeps me from driving for more than 10 minutes, I now have to deal with my brother who thinks I'm not paying him enough for taking me to school 2 days a week, when he does the journeys for himself anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 192

By Girl - 02/11/2018 15:30 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I had a job interview for my dream job. Then I got a call saying it was cancelled because of a policy change that was issued this morning. I applied over a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 139

Bigger than...

By Jim - 27/11/2019 01:00 - Canada - Winfield

Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 556

You deserved it 549

Eternally romantic

By singledumbfuck - 22/03/2020 03:30

Today, my boyfriend proposed via text, after telling me that he'd slept with his step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 555

You deserved it 194

By Takegami - 15/12/2018 17:30

Today. I had my first final exam. That would be fine if I hadn’t gotten sick 4 days ago. No one can go get my antibiotics, I feel like I’m dying and I can’t miss these exams under any circumstance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 555

You deserved it 206

Courtesy visit

By hottytodday - 12/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxford

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 554

You deserved it 374

Aaaaaaaaargh

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 16:00

Today, my girlfriend told me I don't make enough noise during sex. Then when we had sex again, I made the noises she wanted. She then broke up with me because, apparently, when I came, I screamed like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 554

You deserved it 466

By Stupid - 01/03/2019 04:00

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's wife. He's still saying he is not married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 553

You deserved it 326

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I saw an elderly woman drop $20 while shopping. Trying to be a good samaritan, I picked it up and tried to hand it back to her. She accused me of stealing it and beat me with her purse. The manager had to fend her off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 092

You deserved it 1 565

Today, it was the last day of school. My students shared what they thought of me. Expecting to hear wonderful things, all of their complaints can be summed up in a few words: I'm a liar, a killer of dreams, I need to grow up, and I was a big disappointment to them. I'm a first-year teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 351

You deserved it 14 686

Today, after spending two weeks renovating my room and $1000 on paint and a new floor, my landlord told me that he's sold the house. Also, he was kind enough to inform me that unless I paint the walls back to white, I won't be getting my $500 deposit back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 417

You deserved it 19 784

Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 890

You deserved it 6 032

Today, I got the most painful neck cramp of my life after whipping my head back in laughter at something that wasn't even that funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 567

You deserved it 1 924

Today, I was waitressing. Two of the patrons, who were fathers, insisted on having their food taken off the bill because it’s Father’s Day and “ChatGPT said” they can get free food. We refused and said there’s no such thing. When I collected the check, I saw they wrote “fat bitch” on the tip line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 65