Transportation and Holidays: Today, my dad forgot my Canadian permanent resident card. We...

By Anonymous - Japan - Hirakata

Today, my dad forgot my Canadian permanent resident card. We could be stuck in an airport in Japan for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2558

331

Serious times

Out of it

Family values

By asshole - 29/4/2020 20:00

Fashion Police

Today, I called a company to see why the dress I’d ordered for my best friend hadn’t been delivered. After doing some digging and ruining the surprise, it turns out it had been. Her boyfriend opened the package, deemed the dress "too slutty" and threw it out. He refuses to pay me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2258

You deserved it

200

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/11/2020 18:02 - United States - Cody

Seize the means

Today, I found out I'm getting a pay cut, a week after I told my boss I need a raise or second job just to afford bills. I made the company 10k last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

960

You deserved it

Favorite

By Rolax - France

Today, my boyfriend came up with this thrillingly romantic proposal: “I’m paying way too much income tax. How about we get married?” FML

I agree, your life sucks

60293

You deserved it

6018

Favorite

By Cuntface McGee - Romania - Dej

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39771

You deserved it

18515

Favorite

By Dopamin3

Today, driving to a conference 2 hours away a giant piece of ice fell off a truck and did severe damage to my car hood and busted the front light. The car was a few months old with around 5000 miles on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2146

You deserved it

138

Favorite

By Sayahh

Today, I pulled a muscle at work doing a cartwheel. I was doing the cartwheel to prove to one of my students that adults can do cartwheels too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6546

You deserved it

3166

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34341

You deserved it

3737

Favorite

By fmlfmlfml - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!". He got mad and left my house. It was my dad from Ohio. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53264

You deserved it

4826

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my boss told me to check out the situation in the restroom. Someone had crapped themselves, rolled their underwear into a ball, and had the audacity to write that they were sorry in sharpie on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4584

You deserved it

291

Favorite

By wellalrightythen - United States - Hobart

Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right into my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40770

You deserved it

2486

Favorite

Everything is clean

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2643

You deserved it

204

Favorite

By strawberry - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to see a movie with a seemingly nice guy after a friend set us up. As soon as the movie started, he unzipped his pants and told me to "get to it". FML

I agree, your life sucks

36224

You deserved it

2624

Favorite

By OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany - Mainz

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25827

You deserved it

3761

Favorite

By anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35925

You deserved it

2496

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I found a necklace that my parents had made for me. While looking at it, I realized my parents had spelled my name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1742

You deserved it

132

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Hartford

Today, I realized that although I'm dating the most loveable, caring and genuine man, the fact that he's a crack addict means I'll never be his drug of choice when he needs a hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30841

You deserved it

21489

Favorite

By tanya - Canada

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

I agree, your life sucks

16070

You deserved it

40823

Favorite

By allergic_to_bull - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42420

You deserved it

4236

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents invited all their kids and grandkids to join them on a vacation trip to the mountains; all their kids except me, that is. I'm not invited. But they did invite my ex-husband. And his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48404

You deserved it

3364

Favorite

By perfectmoment - Canada

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39061

You deserved it

21201

Favorite

By MistofAvalon - 24/4/2020 14:00

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1298

You deserved it

263

Favorite

By Anonameow - United States - Nanticoke

Today, I'm recovering from surgery. Every time I laugh, it hurts so badly I start to cry, which hurts even worse and makes it difficult to breathe. The painkillers I'm on make everything seem funny. I laughed so hard at a dumb pun that I nearly passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21262

You deserved it

1494

Favorite

By Welp

Today, I failed my nursing clinical for, "being too nice". FML

I agree, your life sucks

4153

You deserved it

407

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Orangeville

Today, while trying to quit my horrible job at a pizza place, I got so nervous that I accidentally offered to work double my usual hours for another month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22736

You deserved it

15848

Favorite

By StrawberryJuicey - United States

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get sized. I put the card that says my size in my pocket, then went to the movies with my boyfriend. When the person at the counter asked me to hand them my ticket, I reached into my pocket and handed it to them. It wasn't the ticket. It was my bra size. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10802

You deserved it

32180

Favorite

By Hi, I'm Heather - United States - Lincolnton

Today, my Spanish teacher told me that the reason the girl I'm tutoring hasn't contacted me yet is because she emailed the teacher saying she didn't like my name, therefore she didn't want me to be her tutor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37011

You deserved it

2865

Favorite

By meandme - Canada - Fort Vermilion

Today, I saw a kid getting bullied; a girl was hitting him in the head. After having an inner struggle with what to do, I tried to stop them. Both kids then turned on me, and called me a "hippo". FML

I agree, your life sucks

42596

You deserved it

4422

Favorite

By arther

Today, I got up at 3:15 a.m. to be ready for work at 5 a.m. I get to my work station to find absolutely no work to do. After talking with my boss, I was sent home with no pay. If I'd been employed there 3 weeks longer, I would've been paid for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1663

You deserved it

136

Favorite

By child of a crazed women - United States - Halethorpe

Today, it is my birthday. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, my mom thought it was perfectly reasonable to burn the gifts my dad got for me in the fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57077

You deserved it

2924

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Grand Junction

Warrior

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30343

You deserved it

3267

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Alpharetta

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50594

You deserved it

12359

Favorite

By Kelavmeister - United States

Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

87001

You deserved it

6954

Favorite

By Dafawk

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12201

You deserved it

6428

Favorite

By karmafails - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30170

You deserved it

2347

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35509

You deserved it

19764

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13749

You deserved it

43381

Favorite

By NoTeddies - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear keyring. I had to explain that although many grown women like cuddly toys, I don't. And even if I did, a filthy, soaking wet bear he found in a puddle on the street is not a nice gesture, despite his suggestion I can just wash it in the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10905

You deserved it

1276

Favorite

By Chey - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26143

You deserved it

3332

Favorite

By Jeremy - United States

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27182

You deserved it

86921

Favorite

By Angela - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28458

You deserved it

5563

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By real life problems | 26

#7685984 - Saturday 1 September 2018 0:40

Japan is a country I wouldnt mind being stuck in

By skippydoda | 32

#7685998 - Saturday 1 September 2018 1:44

How old are you? I think if you are old enough to post on FML then you are old enough to remember your own card. YDI

COMMENTS

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7682726 - Sunday 26 August 2018 3:53

Speak to the Canadian Embassy.

By real life problems | 26

#7685984 - Saturday 1 September 2018 0:40

Japan is a country I wouldnt mind being stuck in

By skippydoda | 32

#7685998 - Saturday 1 September 2018 1:44

How old are you? I think if you are old enough to post on FML then you are old enough to remember your own card. YDI

By acmariner99 | 24

#7686014 - Saturday 1 September 2018 2:22

What’s with all the Canadians getting stuck overseas?

By RichardPencil | 29

#7686031 - Saturday 1 September 2018 3:32

I think you’re turning Japanese, I think you’re turning Japanese, I really think so.

Is everyone avoiding you like a cyclone ranger?

By BrookieB | 13

#7686040 - Saturday 1 September 2018 4:21

Least u have a dad

By clair_brodie | 34

#7686064 - Saturday 1 September 2018 6:12

Why didn't YOU have your ID card? Seems like something that one should keep track of.

By ChromoTec | 24

#7686351 - Saturday 1 September 2018 19:15

Why is that a bad thing? 私は日本が好きです!

By Taurus_ChicKa | 36

#7686488 - Sunday 2 September 2018 0:56

And you weren't carrying your own important card because...?