The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Timing is everything

By unluckypanda - 04/07/2021 04:04 - United States - Makawao

Today, I had a photoshoot planned weeks ago, getting one of the last coveted spots. My boyfriend couldn’t even show up on time. It was a sunrise shoot. We arrived once the sun had been up for 25 mins already. He wondered "what the big deal is?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 217

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 720

You deserved it 12 542

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 20:48 - Canada

Today, my boss fired me because a coworker had seen me reading magazines on the job. That same coworker was the one who offered me the magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 158

You deserved it 7 940

By Anonymous - 02/02/2014 17:33 - United States - Far Rockaway

Today, I was bitched out at 2 a.m. by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 064

You deserved it 3 994

Tricky

By Anonymous - 18/09/2022 03:00

Today, I'm so sexually frustrated that I started to fantasize about men other than my husband. The problem is I'm my recently disabled husband's carer, and the man I'm fantasizing about is the one who his ex-wife cheated on him with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 1 361

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 07/09/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 399

You deserved it 5 505

He's a diamond

By Sick - 27/09/2022 20:30

Today, I found out my husband has been flirting with and dating behind my back the nurse who treats my cancer. He admitted that he needs someone healthy and not someone who’s “gonna be sick all the time.” He also attempted to justify it by saying, “You’re gonna die anyway and then what am I gonna do?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 258

You deserved it 153

By WTA - 20/02/2012 17:36 - United States

Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 660

You deserved it 34 957

Bad karma

By Anonymous - 26/01/2014 17:21 - United Kingdom - Aberystwyth

Today, after waiting two weeks for an email with my online textbook access code, it still hadn't arrived in time for my quiz tomorrow, so I ended up spending most of my money on the expensive physical copy. Not long after I got back home, the email finally arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 223

You deserved it 5 044

By lifesucks - 24/02/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 965

You deserved it 50 308

Evil and cunning

By Anonymous - 09/10/2022 05:00

Today, I lost my job due to anonymous customer complaints. Turns out it was my toxic mother-in-law. She made those complaints because she thinks if I’m unemployed, it will be easier to convince my husband to divorce me. Luckily he knows she’s toxic and is on my side, but I’m still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 723

You deserved it 108

Screeching

By sdd - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Switzerland - Lotzwil

Today, I was chatting with my choir leader. I told him that I have been thinking about taking singing lessons. His immediate reaction was, "Thank God, finally!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 826

You deserved it 6 871

By sharpie2792 - 15/02/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 134

You deserved it 2 970

By yogabbagabba - 03/09/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 213

You deserved it 38 777

By frustrated - 22/01/2013 07:20 - Australia - Mittagong

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 183

You deserved it 7 051

Many such cases

By Thomas - 28/09/2022 11:30

Today, I'm thirteen and I don't have a social life, because my parents started homeschooling me in the second grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 208

By pubes - 18/03/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, I came back to my room and sat down at my desk to find pile short, curly hairs on it. Neither me or my roommate have curly hair, and it isn't mine. I think he trimmed his pubes over my desk and forgot to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 570

You deserved it 2 994

Some sort of issues

By Dusk - 30/09/2022 20:30

Today, I tried to rent the new Aladdin with my '90s obsessed war vet roommate. Thirty seconds into the opening credits, he begins screaming that the movie is trash, and then rents out the original. He re-rented the new one and trashed it the whole time, ranting that Jasmin should be beheaded for speaking over a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 182

By Girl - 17/03/2010 07:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 702

You deserved it 5 142

By Noname - 20/02/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 208

You deserved it 25 135

Too on the nose

By Anonymous - 19/07/2021 16:03

Today, my boyfriend was trying to describe his feelings. I asked him if he felt any emotions other than "anger." He went to get a beer and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 395

By Anonymous - 10/01/2014 16:12 - United States - Shelbyville

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 343

You deserved it 5 698

By Numb - 11/04/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 545

You deserved it 7 051

Final touch

By rydawg79 - 30/08/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 077

You deserved it 64 899

Catchy

By Whatdoido - 25/07/2021 18:01

Today, I found out I have syphilis. I only slept with one person in my entire life, my boyfriend of 2 years. When I told him about it, he burst into tears and said, "It was one time at a company party" and "Maybe if you put some Vagisil or something, it will go away." Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 066

You deserved it 165

Promising

By Anonymous - 14/10/2022 10:00

Today, my wife of 12 years told me she would be more peaceful if I just killed myself. I argued that I’m not going to, but she assured me that I would. It’s just ‘when’ that’s in question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 124

Which is worse

By Anonymous - 28/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Hot Springs National Park

Today, I found out that my best friend of 25 years, who doesn't believe that her boyfriend raped me, unfriended me on Nintendo Switch online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 183

By KS - 17/02/2009 20:52 - United States

Today, at the end of a really long day my boyfriend was rubbing my back. I told him I appreciated how sensitive he was being. His response? "I was just trying to figure out how to unhook your bra." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 354

You deserved it 8 962

Grow up

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 14:02

Today, my son rejected a job offer because it interferes with the streaming schedule of some Twitch dirtbag. He's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 219

Magic is real, OK?

By yummolives - 26/08/2009 20:31 - United States

Today, my little sister received a fairy costume from my aunt. She put it on and waved her wand at me. She said, "Abracadabra, bibbity poo. I wish Sydney was pretty." When I did nothing, she put her hands on her hips and said, "Can't you just act pretty?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 369

You deserved it 5 485

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Parents Parenting Work Family Weird Awkward Intimacy AITA Kids Health Doctor Painful Moving home Transportation Miscellaneous Vacation Embarrassing LGBTQIA+ Love Religion Annoying Money Mysterious Gross Delivery Facebook My ex Instagram Social Media

The Top

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 142

You deserved it 2 200

Today, I wanted to freshen up my room, so I bought some Febreze. Standing on my bed, I began to spray, not noticing that the air vent directly across was turned on. The spray came directly back at me. The doctor says that the irritation in my eyes may last for several days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 077

You deserved it 25 215

Today, I rescheduled my doctor's appointment for a tetanus shot to go camping with my friends. While running on a path at the camp site, I stepped on a rusty nail that went right through my shoe and into my foot. Maybe I should have kept my appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 414

You deserved it 24 396

Today, my dad tried to help me overcome my intense fear of horses (due to nearly being killed by one as a child) by taking me to a ranch. Within 30 minutes, a horse bit my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 023

You deserved it 483

Today, I found out that my daughter uses visits to my house as punishment for her kids. “Do as you’re told or we’re going to grandma's house where you’ll be bored for hours.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 249

Today, I found out I’m 6 weeks pregnant. I’m a senior in high school. I’m not sure who the father is since I was in a situationship with one guy after my ex, and I broke it off last Halloween. My parents strictly forbade me from dating until I was in college, so I don’t know how to tell them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 1 005