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By wellthisisawkward80 - 06/11/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 652

You deserved it 17 993

By woundedexwife - 16/01/2010 01:22 - United States

Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 018

You deserved it 2 868

By Beccarr - 01/07/2009 17:04 - United Kingdom

Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 672

You deserved it 45 693

Fishing For Love

By FML Videos - 14/10/2018 00:00

Dating is hard.

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 98

By Anonymous - 29/06/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 834

You deserved it 12 574

By JH - 01/07/2010 01:43 - United States

Today, I was making out with my new boyfriend when he pulled away and looked me deeply in the eyes, he smiled and said, "I don't care what anyone else says, I think you're beautiful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 203

You deserved it 18 004

We live in a society

By tlowbrim - 18/11/2020 02:02

Today, I'm working retail where masks are mandatory. A gentleman comes in with his mask below his chin. I politely say, "Hey dude, if you’re gonna shop here I'm going to need you to keep that mask on properly", to which he replies, "Fuck you, you stupid little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 328

By fuck - 16/12/2014 21:04 - Norway - Slemmestad

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 561

You deserved it 37 421

WTF dude?

By mtorres8789 - 27/06/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming, "Sexy!" The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 870

You deserved it 80 677

Spooked

By Anonymous - 02/06/2010 18:17 - United States

Today, my wife changed her Facebook status from "Married" to "Widowed". I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 103

You deserved it 5 260

So, you guys bangin' or what?

By kiwi2323 - 26/09/2012 01:48 - United States

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 500

You deserved it 3 378

Never say easy

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 19:22 - United States

Today, I decided to make pancakes from scratch. I poured the batter in my Perfect Pancake pan. Then I told my brother who was watching, "This is so easy. Just watch." I burned 15 pancakes, including the one I dropped on the burner, which lit on fire, causing the alarm to go off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 445

You deserved it 53 521

By feelinblue - 23/06/2009 11:31 - Australia

Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 230

You deserved it 4 523

Ross?

By Anonymous - 04/10/2020 08:02 - United States - Klawock

Today, my wife had a dream that I was in the bath with our newborn baby. In the dream, I threw the baby out like a football. She can't get the image out of her head and won't forgive me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 98

By Mrs. Terrified - 23/10/2011 23:08 - United States

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 244

You deserved it 4 515

By Jesse - 22/06/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, McDonalds charged me 21 cents for a honey mustard packet. The jerk manager made me break a $50 bill. So I grabbed all their napkins, carried them into the parking lot and tossed them all into the air in protest and drove off. Down the road, I realized I left my wallet at the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 792

You deserved it 85 440

By Hair Fail - 22/10/2011 15:32 - United States

Today, I decided I wanted to dye my hair a medium brown. Little did I know, some jerk switched the hair dye boxes. My hair is now bright orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 194

You deserved it 6 682

The *****

By FML - 21/06/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 719

You deserved it 5 397

By nick - 24/12/2010 02:21 - United States

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 437

You deserved it 3 011

New man

By Anonymous - 19/01/2022 08:01

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who broke up with me the day before yesterday, got a job at my workplace. He shows up dressed his best clothes, clean-shaven, and with perfume. For the 10 months we dated, I only saw him in baggy tops, sweatpants, a weird beard, and the smell of sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 256

By Leashaness - 15/09/2012 11:07 - United States

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 369

You deserved it 2 760

By Anonymous - 30/11/2014 04:44 - United States - Mahwah

Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 679

You deserved it 3 566

Oh really? No way!

By verydepressed - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Russian Federation - Seversk

Today, I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people used to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were invented. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 337

You deserved it 3 760

It's not what you think

By DestinyJoy - 10/01/2017 13:47

Today, at Starbucks, I complimented the awkward nerdy barista's name tag because of the funny Sonic decorations on it. The dude took it as me flirting and gave me my drink with Sonic drawn on it. I had applied to work there and now I can't go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 571

You deserved it 2 039

Stahp!

By Michael - 15/10/2020 05:02 - United States - Kearny

Today, I had to babysit my dying grandmother, so I brought up my guitar. She hadn't said anything to anyone today, and the first thing and only thing she said was, "Stop. Make it stop" to me when I played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 414

By apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 814

You deserved it 6 513

By RinoaHeartilly - 28/11/2018 03:00

Today, like every day she works, my roommate once again put on a ton on perfume before work because she doesn't shower. She's gone, but this smell will be here for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 580

You deserved it 258

By justinmdent - 24/11/2014 03:48 - United States - Excelsior Springs

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 717

You deserved it 2 965

By Anonymous - 17/06/2009 12:27 - France

Today, I gave a beautiful book of baby names to a friend of mine who's been trying to get pregnant for a while. She just burst into tears when she saw it. Just before meeting me, she'd found out she was sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 338

You deserved it 7 290

By mee - 08/09/2012 22:39 - United States

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 001

You deserved it 3 073

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The Top

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 947

You deserved it 8 239

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 442

You deserved it 5 149

Random

Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 580

You deserved it 4 486

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 619

You deserved it 2 313

Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 580

You deserved it 5 442

Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 549

You deserved it 6 545

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 988

You deserved it 12 584

Today, I worked up the courage to order coffee on my own instead of using the app. When the barista asked, “Name?” I froze and blurted out my email address. They called out my full name plus numbers and I had to claim it like that was normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 345