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Saying its "disrespectful" is misleading. If both in the couple agree that it's a party that is meant to be over the top and crazy as "last night out," I don't see how that is disrespectful. If one asks the other NOT to have strippers, and then he or she goes behind their SO's back and do it, sure, that's a no no. But most people recognize what kind of party it is, and if they trust their SO, it shouldn't be an issue. Both my husband and I had strippers at our respective parties. Neither of us had an issue because we trusted each other not to do anything. Couples should be able to decide what works for them without others labeling it as "disrespectful" or "disgusting."

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To all commentators who are being judgmental about strip clubs, etc: To imply that people who watch strippers have no morals is very ignorant. No one is judging you on how you live your life, perhaps you could give others the same respect.

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'But most people recognize what kind of party it is, and if they trust their SO, it shouldn't be an issue.' I completely agree with your entire post, except for this sentence. Knowing that many people can't even stand their partner watching porn (merely because they have a low self-esteem and therefore think their partner find the pornstars prettier and more attractive, which will give them an even lower self-esteem), I don't think it's that simple. People and their feelings are more complicated than 'if you trust your partner, let him/her go to strippers!'.

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I agree with 171, there are options other than strippers and such. However many people choose to do just that and their isn't anything wrong with that as long as both of them are okay with that. Personally however I wouldn't just because I've been with my girlfriend for a long time and it's not like I'm not trusted not to do anything like that, but I'm not interested in it and I'm betting it would make my girlfriend uncomfortable.

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To be honest, if my male fiancé wanted to go to a strip club for his party, I'd let him. it's not like he's getting head or anything. it's just nakedness. besides, it's probably his friends wanting to go and he's just gone with the flow since the groom usually doesn't plan the bachelor party.

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But, that could just be me. I'd feel secure enough in our relationship to know he wouldn't cheat. I'm marrying him. if you don't trust him and care about him watching a naked girl dance, then what's the point? a marriage is about trust. I hope that if I ever marry, I'd trust the person to go out with friends and get wasted and go to strip clubs, because no matter how hot the girl is, he's coming home to me. not the girl on the pole. I'm just weird like that though, if I feel insecure, then I change it lol. besides, it's kinda like watching porn in 3D glasses.

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DJeePee, if a person is so insecure that they worry about their SO even looking at another individual and fear their SO will be more attracted/want that other person more, then there are FAR more serious issues in the relationship than just strippers. "Trust" is not just about the physical aspect, but trust in your SO to love you, want you, find you attractive, etc. I trust, for example, that my husband loves/is attracted to me, and not just with me because he hasn't seen an more attractive woman. While I understand what you're trying to say, you're describing an unhealthy relationship and/or at least one unhealthy person in that relationship. If you're about to marry someone, you should be able to trust that said person wants to be with you and is attracted to you. Seeing other attractive people isn't going to change that.

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I didn't go to the strippers on my bachelor party. strip clubs are nasty. However, my wife wouldn't care if I went, just as I wouldn't care if she went to one. IMO, we can look, but can't touch.

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Not replying to anyone in particular, but I thought that bachelor/ette parties were for celebrating your upcoming marriage, not the death of your single life. I mean, if you've been in a relationship long enough to get married, I don't think that being married would be much different in terms of what you can and can't do anymore :P If it were an issue of never knowing when you're onna get married until you get a call saying that you're getting married in 3 days, then I guess I'd understand because then it truly would be your last nights to be single and party and screw around.

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'So basically what you are implying is because you are self concise that means your soon to be husband cannot go to a strip club because it makes YOU feel insecure I can see were your coming from but it should not matter' Are you really saying it should not matter if someone makes his/her future wife/husband feel insecure? Really? I know relationships aren't perfect, but if your partner is absolutely disgusted and uncomfortable with you seeing people of the other gender naked, then you should respect that and don't go to the strippers at all. 'I trust, for example, that my husband loves/is attracted to me, and not just with me because he hasn't seen an more attractive woman. ' So do I. I think you misunderstood me a little bit. I wasn't talking about the ideal relationship, I justed wanted to point out that some people are too insecure/have other morals (not saying whether they are good or bad) to deal properly with their partner going to a strip club. I trust my boyfriend completely, but I just don't want him to look at another woman her naked tits, just like he doesn't want me to stare at another men his naked breast. Really, it would be a smack in my face. And it would make me feel insecure, yeah. Whenever we would have sex, I would think of him getting an erection from some big-breasted and perfectly shaped woman, and I wouldn't be in the mood any longer. But I don't think I have an unhealthy relationship. Sorry for this terrible long post, I'm going to sleep now.

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People have different views about the importance of sex in a relationship. The fact that some people are more promiscuous and open than others does not make them any less "moral". What's immoral is being dishonest with your partner. That said, it's really only an FML for the OP if his wife didn't know he was going to a strip club, in that case a YDI. But as is, sounds like it's more of a FML for the sister....

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My husband and I go to strip clubs together. They're not that bad. Sure the one in the town we live in has "larger" girls but it's harmless. He gets fifty cent beers before 7 and we both get a laugh out of the big girls trying to not bust their butts when they can't hold themselves up on the pole. I'm secure enough in my relationship to not feel threatened by something as trivial as a strip club. When I went to Vegas this past year with my husband the ones there are a lot more fun and the women look a lot better too.

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Summary: People have different morales and values. No one is wrong for the way they choose to live their life. Just because anyone disagrees it doesn't make something wrong. You don't like the way some is doing something, great thing is you don't have to follow. Everyone go ahead and do your own shit for your bachelor party! Point is have fun and don't piss off your loved one!

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121 - I don't think she spoke for all women. Just some, perhaps? I know if I get married I'd rather not know what happens at the bachelor party. And if anything should happen my fiancé would tell me. But I would trust him enough to know nothing would happen. This is in my opinion anyway...

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#50 is right on the money (no pun intended) Here's a secret some of you may not know about strip clubs...the girls that work there, yeah, they don't like you. They want your money and that is why they are shaking their ass and looking at you seductively. Please don't confuse this with genuine attraction.

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agree. My husband takes me to a gentleman's club for my b day every year. It's fun, (can be) hot, and we both enjoy it. It's not okay to make naked bodies (to view)off limits to your spouse for life. It's natural to look and want to look. Matter of fact, it can actually improve your sex life. Your partner has more to imagine and increase arousal. If you're like my husband and me, you can talk about the thoughts you have of the naked people and again, crank up the heat! I even encourage my husband to have a gf so we can talk about their dates/sleepovers during our intimacy.

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