By Michael - 14/10/2020 23:02 - United States - Kearny

Stahp!

Today, I had to babysit my dying grandmother, so I brought up my guitar. She hadn't said anything to anyone today, and the first thing and only thing she said was, "Stop. Make it stop" to me when I played. FML

I agree, your life sucks

922

You deserved it

346

Favorite

Proactive

Jonah begs to differ

Your cooking, dude

By nick - United States

Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20265

You deserved it

5344

Favorite

By motherdearest - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76184

You deserved it

6945

Favorite

By Anonymous

Definitely done that

Today, at work, I put my earphones in to listen to some music. An hour later, I realised I never pressed play. FML

I agree, your life sucks

710

You deserved it

1069

Favorite

By G-6

Today, I was on the plane asleep. I woke up after feeling the plane jolt and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The little girl next to me told me I was a sissy. Everyone on the plane laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14040

You deserved it

30430

Favorite

By DanJames24 - 5/6/2020 14:00

Family jewels

Today, while on the bus, I had to stand as all the seats were taken. I was standing behind a group of small girls who were messing around with their bags. As they were swinging them, one hit me square in the nuts with her elbow. The girl said, “Wise up, I hardly touched you.” I missed my stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1550

You deserved it

151

Favorite

By Petridishoflove - Hong Kong

Today, I put my paint brush into my cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10514

You deserved it

22811

Favorite

By ihatebadkids - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was uninvited from every family event henceforth, because I finally had it and told my sister that I can’t stand to be around her horribly misbehaved kids. They have screaming meltdown tantrums, throw and break things, start fights and steal. How am I the bad guy? FML

I agree, your life sucks

2054

You deserved it

250

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Salinas

Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67678

You deserved it

4134

Favorite

By Michael D. - United States - Duluth

Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14780

You deserved it

26944

Favorite

By Taylor - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43081

You deserved it

10634

Favorite

By jessel_ladd92 - United States

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46544

You deserved it

5816

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27809

You deserved it

8607

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33085

You deserved it

5754

Favorite

By OverWorked1 - United States

Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML

I agree, your life sucks

10306

You deserved it

24162

Favorite

By thatstinks - Iceland

Today, I finally found out what the weird sour smell that's been in my dorm room for a while is. My roommate's sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30415

You deserved it

2955

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I was at K-Mart and saw an exact copy of my engagement ring for twenty bucks. The same one that had supposedly been in my fiancé's family for generations, and worth thousands. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27438

You deserved it

3003

Favorite

By sissydlk - United States

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40106

You deserved it

10325

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 01:57

I mean…

Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

800

You deserved it

Favorite

By fatty - Canada - Calgary

Today, I yet again purposely avoided the 'Health and Fitness' section on pinterest to keep my self-esteem up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9509

You deserved it

18729

Favorite

By girl - United States

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33209

You deserved it

6416

Favorite

By Stupid Drunk - United States

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13028

You deserved it

49390

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/2/2021 11:01

Cognitive dissonance

Today, in the same conversation with the same person, I got chewed out because our kids want to spend more time with me than her, and also because the kids spend too much time with her and she can’t work from home effectively. Can anyone explain how that works? FML

I agree, your life sucks

694

You deserved it

Favorite

By Jpah - United States

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49741

You deserved it

3888

Favorite

By Lara - Italy - Empoli

Today, my boyfriend told me he still has the key to our mailbox, while being at the other part of the country. Not to worry though, he sent it over. By mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27716

You deserved it

2187

Favorite

By Satver7

An Inconvenient Thief

Today, after meeting a girl for the first time and having sex with her, I found not only my wallet missing but also the 128 GB pen drive that had my project I've been working on for 6 months on it. I have to give the presentation in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6115

You deserved it

4520

Favorite

By nuberific - Canada

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58196

You deserved it

3478

Favorite

By WithoutLove - United States

#ForeverAlone

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16627

You deserved it

32925

Favorite

By thelunarwolf

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28762

You deserved it

8852

Favorite

By anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my new landlords must meet and approve guests of mine before they come over, and guests are not allowed when they aren't home or past 11pm. I'm 25 years old and just moved out of my parents' home to get away from my controlling mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31615

You deserved it

4060

Favorite

By sadmama

Today, I found out that while my mother-in-law claimed to be babysitting my son, she was actually dropping him off at an unlicensed “day care” in a shady part of town so she could go out. How did I find out? The house was raided by police. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5616

You deserved it

314

Favorite

By Sivvus - Reserved

Today, I paid £140 for a train ticket. All the seats were full. When I sat in the corridor the guard yelled at me. I paid £140 to stand outside a stinking train toilet for 7 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32745

You deserved it

3323

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23071

You deserved it

6444

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Calgary

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47398

You deserved it

8653

Favorite

By anonymous - United States

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40285

You deserved it

101027

Favorite

By crazystar69 - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53854

You deserved it

4809

Favorite

By apologetic - United States - Latonia

Today, I got yelled at by a customer while working at a bank call center. He was furious I apologized for a mistake that someone else had made. I again apologized for apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38806

You deserved it

4937

Favorite

By mushroommouth - United States

Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32692

You deserved it

22640

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Perth

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36609

You deserved it

4423

Favorite

By kira - United States

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25519

You deserved it

7872

Favorite

By Fangirl#1

Today, students were permitted to wear costumes at my school, but only about half of us did. In 4th period a guy asked me, "What are you supposed to be?" I wasn’t wearing a costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2418

You deserved it

298

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Chandl3r | 9

#7945160 - Thursday 15 October 2020 5:53

I understand that you're hurt but maybe something was bothering her when it was playing, maybe she had a migraine.
At least she was honest and didn't lie and say it was good if it wasn't. Maybe she just doesn't like it, there's many factors.

By RichardPencil | 29

#7945161 - Thursday 15 October 2020 6:32

I'm almost looking forward to my last days. I'll finally get to be totally honest.

When I get assaulted by shitty guitar, I'll be able to candidly critique the so-called music.

COMMENTS

By Chandl3r | 9

#7945160 - Thursday 15 October 2020 5:53

By RichardPencil | 29

#7945161 - Thursday 15 October 2020 6:32

I'm almost looking forward to my last days. I'll finally get to be totally honest.

When I get assaulted by shitty guitar, I'll be able to candidly critique the so-called music.

By tounces7 | 27

#7945282 - Thursday 15 October 2020 16:55

Apparently you're so bad she thought she was in hell already and being tormented.