Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
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Top comments
Rangant 7
you mean there's a different way?? I just can't keep up with all these new trends :S
Draminicaus 0
There is such a thing as constructive criticism. Wait until a time when sex isn't on the brain and then start a conversation about things that do and don't turn each other on. In a very nice way, explain to him that kissing like the wacky-waving, inflatable, arm-flailing tube-man just doesn't do it for you and politely give him pointers. His ego might be hurt a little bit by it, so try to keep it as caring and considerate as possible. Keywords: NICELY, POLITELY, CONSIDERATE, PENGUIN
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Comments (154)
KVloveBC 0
lmfao!!
pwincessa23 1
Lol ur hilarious!! op should tell us all the different techniques of making out. no vacum kisses though.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
just be happy his not a komodo dragon, because they have poisonous saliva. and that shit stings!
SunshineBoy21 0
Train the lad. Show him what pleases you and you'll never be disappointed again AND he'll be happy knowing he is pleasing his woman. It's all good!
mazzera_fml 7
gecko...
_TONGAN_ 5
well...at least you know he's an animal when comes down to stuff like that! lol
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
So how are you supposed to do it? I'd hate to be that guy if I ever get kissed... Any tips?
mfmylifesrsly 30
I had that happen once, it's so gross :(
FFML_314 12
Always classy, 94. I have no doubt that you can relate to FMLs like this.
mitchie11 0
While I do find this fml to be humorous, I must ask, what's so wrong with that? I mean, maybe for a first kiss he shouldn't have gone all wild on you but when appropriate, getting wild with that tongue can be a turn on. Just sayin...
thethingthatshou 4
Maybe he has a lizard fetish?
Rangant 7
you mean there's a different way?? I just can't keep up with all these new trends :S
marinus_fml 20
Is there any other way?
maphineRAWRS 10
lolew
marinus_fml 20
hahaa Josie, take it, or leave it.
SARSvirus79 0
What a winner.
lol32360 0
lol
denden22 0
lol!!
knibbsy 4
Don't complain, he'd probably be amazing at ***********.
rockhound 0
When a woman is introduced to Colonel Angus, she'll settle for nothing less.
knibbsy 4
Especially when the Colonel's tongue gets possessed by a meth-addicted chameleon.
Mierda2k 1
erm he is ur bf and u just made out with him? what are u virgin Mary or something. dnt u make out with them before you date people?
Klumm 3
you're a ******* retard, obviously it's her boyfriend.
Mauskau 36
12, LTR.
docscientist 10
9 is borderline incoherent.
Nerry_fml 0
not everyone is a **** =]
allmidnighteyes 11
Yeah, #9, that's definitely how it works. Just like how you're supposed to get pregnant before you have sex.
ispitflames 3
you must test drive the car before you lease it. **** before you date!
MonkeySpeaks 4
Uhm. Actually. Most adults will have at least kissed someone they are "dating" before becoming exclusive.
athenaxdivine 0
haha #96 like you even know how to ****. You look like your 13. Just sayin :D
Pawned71 0
wtf ur retarded
LiviLoox22 0
lol@ #48
Reyann 0
your kidding rite? wow thts so retarded!
sarawwh 0
amen
1215116a 14
131 is so right :) and 9 not everyone wants to do that, other people (*****) may, but not decent people :p
jvibertyo 0
I get where you guys are all coming from but it's a friends with benefits type thing that comes first, obviously the couple are attracted, it would be going pretty fast to go from friends straight to dating, but making out is a bit too much without dating, although if you're not allowed to date, then I understand what 9 is saying, just because 9 makes out with people before dating, doesn't mean 9's a ****,
Draminicaus 0
There is such a thing as constructive criticism. Wait until a time when sex isn't on the brain and then start a conversation about things that do and don't turn each other on. In a very nice way, explain to him that kissing like the wacky-waving, inflatable, arm-flailing tube-man just doesn't do it for you and politely give him pointers. His ego might be hurt a little bit by it, so try to keep it as caring and considerate as possible. Keywords: NICELY, POLITELY, CONSIDERATE, PENGUIN
ImaginaryFoe 1
Exactly right. If you can't talk about this with him, you might as well break up now.
Nutz321 0
^win
Cinn_fml 23
What Draminicaus said, OP. That's all you need to know and do.
youngclench 0
yeah, make sure your penguin to him. Otherwise the consequences may be drastic.
DocBastard 40
"Listen babe, I really like you and I want to make this work. But the tongue lashing is over the top. I really need you to be more considerate when we make out. Be gentle. Kiss nicely, not too aggressHOLY SHIT A ******* PENGUIN!! OH MY GOD!!!" Like that?
Draminicaus 0
...Drastic, indeed. :)
dalek_fml 0
lmao
starile 20
These things can definitely also be corrected while making out. *Show* him how you want it done; take it slow and he will follow. For some people, making out (or sex) takes practice, and so instead of just taking his odd kissing technique, help him refine it into something you enjoy. He'd rather please you than not, so start working with him now!
ivanaele 0
Agreed #10.
CandidateForWax 0
Sound advice, but I also thumbed up you for the mental image of the wacky-waving, inflatable, arm-waving, tube-man.
holagurl15 11
#62 haha. :)
newzealand 28
On the plus side.. never mind.
newzealand 28
#10 Legend