Today, I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people used to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were invented. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML
Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML
Today, while I was telling my therapist all of my inner conflicts, he fell asleep. FML
Today, while I was explaining my troubles to my therapist, he asked me, "And don't you have someone you can tell all that?" FML
Today, I’m mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted, and I feel like the only person I can talk to who actually listens is my therapist. FML
Today, I tried therapy to talk about my problems without feeling like i am harassing anyone. After messaging a therapist for over 2 hours, I felt way better and finally understood. It turned out I'm in such a bad mental state that I'm a danger to myself and others. Police were called by the therapist. FML
Today, I’m going to school to become a therapist. Now anyone I tell that to, they now vomit their life stories to me. FML
Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML
Today, my therapist started laughing at me whilst I was telling my story. He said, "Sorry, I can't help it" and burst out laughing. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should have used telepathy to tell her she's an idiot. Alternately, standing up, saying "You're an idiot", and then walking out would get your point across even better.
turtlesarerad14 13
Sounds like he/she needs a therapist..
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Comments (97)
KeXu 6
We can! Watch this: (somebody is going to ask to have their hand raised telepathically)
GwylaFelidae 7
*raises hand*
syki 22
That's telekinesis. Though I guess if you're predicting that someone's about to confuse the two and ask for you to move their hand, that might be telepathy. Double-layer joke?
K410 18
Well we are communicating through energy waves right now accept this is called wifi not telepathy lol
TheCanucklehead 22
I communicate through howling screeches
NoFlippinWai 24
47- You are a banshee. not a human.
CobraLazerFace 21
I'm raising my hand to slap you.
turtlesarerad14 13
Sounds like he/she needs a therapist..
Damian95 16
Yeah that's a really crazy theory. Seeing as telepathy is much more complex than verbal communication.
Roskie 16
If telepathy was possible, I'd think it would be easier.
ariiewilliams 17
Or, he/she is taking something. They are pretty far from the norm...
kaitlynjane 28
I would think that if humans could use telepathy way back before they even learned how to communicate with words, then we would still be able to use it today. Maybe she/he was exaggerating the way our ancestors would interact through body language and movement. That is quite the exaggeration though, given the fact that there is a huge difference between body language and telepathy.
laxbrosive 4
humans have evolved to not use some of the things we did way back in time. there's an organ we don't really need anymore that we did before but I forget what it is.
JustJumped 22
Is anyone telepathic? If so raise my hand
DocBastard 40
You're confusing telepathy with telekinesis. Telepathy: The bullshit "science" of reading minds Telekinesis: The bullshit "science" of moving objects with the mind See the difference?
JanisEvans 10
That quote you tried to force-fit here, is about telekinetics not telepathy. D'oh.
KeXu 6
That would be my bad. I must have telepathically inserted the wrong message into his head.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
DocBastard, stop ruining my hopes and dreams. Next you're going to tell me I'll never bend the elements.
JtPv 14
I think the word you're looking for is pseudoscience.
DKjazz 20
But bullshit has such a nice ring to it!
JustJumped 22
Well that's how we learn, thanks for the correction
The_Big_Boss 20
I'd have actually been interested in hearing how/why he/she thinks that
Ctrl_H 18
I actually think the therapist is confusing telepathy with reading body language so it wouldn't really be interesting
ohSNAPyall 27
Me too. But I wouldn't be interested in paying for her cocktail party conversation.
DocBastard 40
You should have used telepathy to tell her she's an idiot. Alternately, standing up, saying "You're an idiot", and then walking out would get your point across even better.
jessBeAqueen 13
as your telling her this make hand and facial gestures. that way if it doesn't go through youll just look like a silly mime...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Who's the more foolish? The fool, or the fool who pays the fool to be a fool?
slooby_fml 25
Why is it a her?
DocBastard 40
Slooby - That was an assumption on my part. Trust me, men are equally capable of being dumbasses.
Blazinthatshit 9
Why wouldn't is be a she? The gender doesn't really matter... @Slooby
Reesienpiper 4
"And for our next session... smoke signals".
jessBeAqueen 13
then crop circles...
michelleJ11 25
Don't forget UFO's.
svalaedgren 18
Perhaps he/she figured that you needed a conversation like that, who knows?
Shaved_Llamas 11
Your therapist needs a therapist.
brackaman 18
More like a psychiatrist.
AculyAmber 12
Toss in a psychoanalyst.
HortonThelephant 15
I think your therapist is confused. You see, Professor Xavier is a fictional character in the Marvel universe.
vinayj009 5
I think she needs therapy.